(Serious replies only) I’m basically asking like when you get done doing the “busy” things like work or whatever it is, what do you when it’s silence? When it’s at night? Morning? Middle of day or evening?
Does anybody think about their ex daily or often like I do? If so what do you do about it?
r/Advice
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No, but which ex? Like how long ago?
You’re still able to work ?
That constant thinking about your ex, especially in quiet moments, sounds like a trauma response. It’s your brain trying to make sense of old wounds like rejection or abandonment. You’re not broken, just stuck in a loop that protected you once. Try creating a “pause ritual” when those thoughts hit, deep breaths, music, or journaling. And honestly, talking to a therapist who specializes in trauma can help shift those patterns. It takes time, but you can absolutely find peace again.
Yes, at night.
Yes. I still do occasionally, even after 5 years. You just learn to live with it and ignore it.
It’s not easy, all you can do is accept that things are the way they are and try to learn from it. I understand what it’s like to think of them but even if they were perfect, it didn’t work out for a reason.
It’s good to keep your mind busy but relying on that is just avoiding how you feel. Whatever the reason was that it didn’t work out you just have to think of that and have hope that the next one you find will be a better match for you. Also that you can learn from your previous relationship to improve this one.
I know it’s cliché advice but it’s true. It’s okay to feel bad and avoid it sometimes but you can’t run from it forever or it’ll always haunt you.
I think about many of them on a daily basis. They made profound impacts on my life.
I think of her all the time. She’s amazing and it’s laughable how far and away her perfection is compared to other women. It’s not healthy for me to sit around thinking about her, but what can I do? I still have a chance with her because we didn’t break things off over anything we did. We broke up for reasons outside of our control.
I honestly just enjoy the thought of her. She’s the one who showed me that all the work I put into myself over the years was worth it. I became a guy who THAT woman could love. I don’t want anyone else. I’ll die cold and alone if I don’t find someone at least somewhat similar to her.
It depends on how long it’s been. It’s been almost two years for me and I still think about him every day but that’s because he fucking terrorized me for 3 years and left me on death’s doorstep. I think about how awful he was and how grateful I am to have gotten away from him. I also use him as a litmus test. If anyone starts to give me the same kinds of vibes he did, they get cut off. So I guess I’m grateful for that. He taught me to protect myself better.
no, i don’t. once i let go, i just stop looking back like that
It’s now been 5 years for me and thankfully I wouldn’t say it’s quite a daily occurrence anymore, but especially when things get tough I think about her a lot. Happens a lot when I’m driving alone. Even when things are good, I sometimes catch myself picturing it with her involved. Sometimes the thoughts frustrate me, sometimes they make me sad, sometimes I feel panic like I did when everything ended, sometimes I feel full on angry, and sometimes I can smile and reminisce. Ultimately, all I have is the version of her I knew 5 years ago. She probably isn’t that anymore, and so I don’t know her; she is just an idea that persists in my head. I do believe it was true love, but even a real soul connection isn’t always enough. Although it still causes me pain, I’ve accepted it. That’s all we can do really: accept reality.
Used to happen to me when the breakup was fresh and it was a daily thought for months (at least 9) but as time goes by the thought becomes duller and it doesn’t hurt that much. I walked through pain, cried all my tears and when the quiet moments came I allowed myself to feel all those feelings.
Breakups are though, you’re literally mourning the loss of someone you shared moments and feelings with. Have some grace for yourself and know that time will heal everything.
No. Maybe sometimes I do wonder what if.. what if things went a different way, and she didn’t tongue that guy down cuz our relationship seemed pretty strong but i guess i was wrong. Too late to find out now tho! 2 kids, 1 fiance of 11 years.. run down.. yeah… pass. Her, her grass cutting fiance can continue to live in her parents’ basement the rest of their lives. Idgaf.