What does actually change? Is the definition just about the “butterflies”? And does it need to end for the “real” love to start?
What does the end of the honeymoon phase actually mean?
r/AskWomen
What does actually change? Is the definition just about the “butterflies”? And does it need to end for the “real” love to start?
Comments
It means the rose colored glasses have come off and you see the other person for who they are, warts and all. You notice the annoying things and have to decide whether you can live with those things.
It means your brain isnt flooded with feel good chemicals, so you see the good, the bad and the ugly
It’s when you can see all the irritating qualities your partner has because the infatuation has passed. The snoring and mouth breathing stop being cute. 😂
It’s not that it needs to end for real love to start – it’s that you know it’s real love when you can perceive all those flaws and the love is still there or gets stronger.
Personally, the honeymoon phase never ends when you pick the right person. It’s the best feeling ever.
When you start seeing them for who they really are and not the idealized version of them all the feel good chemicals put in your head. Real love is when you can accept them for who they really are, flaws and all, and want to be with them.
People overlook a ton of red flags and annoying behaviors when in the honeymoon phase.
You can cock your leg and fart in front of each other without any repercussions. What are they gonna do, divorce you?
A lot of times when you start a romantic relationship with someone, you’re both on your “best behavior”, trying to impress each other and putting full effort into everything. It’s easy to love someone who’s turning on their charm at 100% all the time.
Over the course of a relationship, you’ll usually relax into a more comfortable version of yourself that includes habits and aspects that are more negative, unpleasant, or embarrassing. You’ll go through struggles and tough periods where you’re not at your best. You’ll have conflicts over things that you might have previously been willing to let slide, but they seem serious now that this is someone you’re more involved with. You might start to take each other for granted.
The end of the honeymoon phase is the transition into that second period, and it just means that it’s time to start making the decision as to whether this is someone you want to continue seeing, warts and all – if it’s worth it to work on the areas where you’re struggling or having conflict, or if it’s best to just cut ties.
It means no more rose tinted glasses. You are not ignoring things they do because you are infatuated with them. You recognize everything they do, whether you find it charming or annoying.
Everyone has habits that can be annoying. People tend to overlook them because of the high from enjoying all the good parts of the person. People say to wait out the honeymoon phase so you can properly evaluate if you can be together with this person forever.
This is often accelerated by living together because it isn’t small doses of each other. It is seeing everything the other person does and allows your brain to adjust to being around them constantly. It tends to create a more clear picture of who the person is.
People also tend to put their best foot forward when with a new partner. This could be holding back farts or completely hiding the kind of person you are because you know people don’t like it generally. So being out of the honeymoon phase also means the person is relaxing enough to show you who they really are.
This usually leads to break ups when the other person seems to change or a deeper love when you get to know the person on every level.
It’s basically the end of the opening monologue to The Real World.
“When people stop being polite and start getting real.”
To me it means the new is gone, and we’ve settled into what our life is going to be.
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Fights, conflict and emergence of old childhood wounds and the despair of dating/being wedded to individuals with different attachment styles. The couples that make it through this phase, still have a long way ahead. And just having love doesn’t cut it. Both partners have to make sure they are equally committed to making things work.
For a time frame, the honeymoon phaseis is said to hardly go beyond 90 days in most relationships.
From an evolutionary perspective, It means that falling in love has done its job. Relationships are scary, and the purpose of the happy chemistry is sex/reproduction.
Mean life caught up with you
When life feels familiar and repetitive your at the end of the honeymoon phase.
It means chemicals have stabilized and balanced out or declined. This added with actually beginning to open up and see someone and begin to process potential issues and differences.
It’s all a part of the love in different life cycles. Some last, some don’t.
Idk I be in love with mine like it’s the first day lol
Just wanna add that the ‘butterfly in stomach’ feeling is actually due to anxiety and not ‘love’. A lot of people get confused when that effect goes away because they think they don’t like the person as much anymore. But it really means they just got comfortable with the person (which is a good thing!)
When the honeymoon phase ends (other people seems to have covered it), the butterfly in stomach feeling usually also ends at the same time.
But the thing is, it’s possible to keep that honeymoon phase going by trying new things with your bf/gf and still go on regular dates when you can. Still try to woo or impress each other every now and then. Every single day also doesn’t have to be super exciting together. But putting in that effort is what lights the flame up.
Love is an action, not a feeling. Love is constant effort. Love is you prioritising that same person everyday and wanting to do all sorts of things for them and with them.
ETA: You will realise a lot of people, when comfortable and more secure in their relation, would stop trying to impress each other or go on dates. Then they will complain that the relationship is boring because nothing happens anymore. But ask some elderly married long-term couple who are still all cozy with each other what their ‘secret’ is, and they’ll tell you the opposite happened. It’s a two-way street.
I really don’t like this “honeymoon phase” term.
I sometimes am head over heels over my boyfriend, and behave like a teenager in love.
We’ve been together 4 years. Actually I like him more now than when we first met.