We have been together with my girlfriend for 1.5 years and we have been living together for around a year.
For context, my parents own the apartment we live in and she chose to move in from her dad’s apartment because she believed this one was much better to live in. She is not paying anything towards the bills because my income is significantly bigger (around 3x).
We have been having a lot of arguements because she expects me to pay for non essential renovations (i.e repainting the walls to be more pretty, changing out the furniture because its black, renovating the kitchen to be more pretty), I have a strong feeling that at this age (we are just finishing / finished university) it is quite irrational to have the perfect house already (especially because we plan to move to a new country in 2 years).
I would be able to pay for these things, would cost about my monthly salary, but I am trying to invest money for the long term future instead of spending a lot on luxuries.
Am I being too frugal, or is she expecting too much or is it something else?
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Anora-ass question
She’s expecting too much. Me, female here. She thinks you got money and can provide her wishes and desires. You’re a baby (not to be condescending) you don’t owe her marriage material just yet. Once you’re married suuuure (if you got the funds for it). But this screams sugar scavenger. She can at least put in half the fund for renovations if she reeaally wants them, but if she expects you to pay for it all, naturally, no second thought… HUGE BLARING GOLD DIGGER RED FUDGING FLAG. This is your warning. Ignore it and any loss coming to you is at your will.
Bred don’t drop a dime it’s your place
She is a leech and will get worse with time. I bet if you stop acquiescing to her demands she’ll become a different person. Red flag, be warned.
Why are you dating an older woman?
Last year I bought a house with my partner and we went 50/50 on nearly everything. He bought a very nice bookcase on his own because he saw it as a forever piece and I thought it was too expensive.
We furnished the first house we bought together, none of our individual places before then.
If you plan to move, it’s more than irrational to buy new useless furniture. It’s weird. I don’t like the term gold digger and I don’t think she necessarily is one, but she definitely seems to be one of these people who want new shiny things just to flaunt them on social media. In a way, I assume she wants to show off her nice life with you, but ultimately it’s really shallow and immature.