I(25F) don’t know what to do anymore to get my brother(34M) out of the house and get a job.

-repost because got take down due to my lack of information-

My (25F) brother (34M) is around 34 now with nothing going on. He’s never really had a proper job. When he was younger (like 18 to 25), he worked with my dad in the scrap metal business. But my dad (62M) was really strict and it kind of traumatized him. After a big fight, he just stopped helping and stayed home.

We have a small metal shop in front of the house, but it’s barely running. He just sits there doing nothing. He doesn’t help at home, doesn’t cook or clean, and barely talks to anyone. He’s rude to my mom—really disrespectful. It’s like he thinks he’s allowed to act that way because of how our dad treated him.

He always acts like the victim, super moody, and honestly… he just doesn’t do anything. He’s not even trying. Back when my dad was still alive and already struggling, my brother would just play games. If he did help, he had a bad attitude about it.

Now that my dad passed away (9 months ago), my brother is totally lost. He doesn’t know how to work, refuses to work for anyone else because of his pride, but also can’t run a business. He won’t listen to advice either. He has no plan, no effort—nothing. He just plays games all day and says he’s “working” and “busy” by sitting at home waiting for a buyer. Like what??

We’re from somewhere in Asia, but racially we’re Arab (not living in the Middle East, and the laws here aren’t Muslim-based either). In our family, women can’t live alone. My dad wouldn’t have allowed us to move out. It’s also not common in our culture to just leave your parents and live by yourself, especially as a woman. (Edit: in the family, this is not normal when a man in his 30s living with the parents too, he’s the only one in my big family that just act like a child. At least they have a job or going out)

After my father passed, we (me, my sister, and my mom) gave my brother a chance. We believed he might change because he just lost his father. I didn’t want to think badly of him. But the rest is history… He just can’t run a business, yet doesn’t want to hear any suggestion. If my mom says A, he’ll ignore it. He thinks he knows everything. And yeah, now the shop’s in loss.

Me and my sister both work full-time. We’re outside all day, while he’s the one who stays at home, but does nothing. He’s cold, never helps around, doesn’t even greet properly. I was in a cold war with him before my father passed away—we didn’t speak for a year, then talked again, then back to silence. Mostly because I couldn’t stand the way he treated our parents, and how he refuses to grow, have a goal, or at least put in effort. His attitude pisses me off. He’ll ignore my greetings, not respond, just act like I’m invisible. And at one point I thought—fine, if you don’t want to talk, then I won’t either.

But now that my dad’s gone, I can’t really ignore him. That would just make my mom sad. But being around him is just draining.

My uncle (mom’s brother) is planning to help pay off the mortgage debt on our house. But he doesn’t know the full story. He only sees my brother as someone who’s too down, or maybe has low self-esteem and just can’t work. He doesn’t know that my brother is actually very toxic and disrespectful. I’ve thought about telling my uncle the truth, but I don’t think my mom would fully back me up. She still pities him, even though she’s starting to get annoyed too. I don’t know how my parents didn’t give him a hard lesson from the start.

I’m super worried about my mom. She’s still in her grief. She’s 54. I feel like everything is falling on me and my sister now. We’re the only ones working and thinking ahead. And he’s just… there. Like the world owes him something.

Honestly, I want my mother to kick him out of the house to get a job and learn but this is will cause a huge fight, I’m afraid he will go violent, since we’re living in Bali and our big family living in another island. And I’m afraid if the attempts failed(for whatever reason) , he will become moreviolent ot just getting worse. What should I do to get him out without any dramas or possibility of violence?
Thinking about telling my uncle too, but again, I’m afraid on the process, my brother became violent

*TL;DR: My 34-year-old brother has done nothing with his life. He’s jobless, plays games all day, and disrespects our grieving mom. After our strict dad passed away 9 months ago, we gave him a chance to step up, but he hasn’t changed—no job, no effort, no respect. He acts like the victim, runs our dad’s shop poorly, loses money, and ignores advice. My sister and I work full-time and support the house while he contributes nothing and makes life harder for our mom. I want him out of the house, but without creating drama or hurting my mom or us more. I’m doubt to between telling my uncle the truth or asking my mom to make him leave and get a job, afraid of him being violent.