30F. I have never been in a relationship and have zero sexual experience. Seeing all my peers getting married and having kids makes me feel like the biggest loser as I haven’t even started and feel like I will never get that in my lifetime. What can I do to change my situation?

r/

At this point, I don’t even have friends because most of them are busy with their partners or kids. It sucks to think that people half my age are getting into relationships and having sex whereas I haven’t even had my first kiss.

When people talk about their sex lives, I feel like an alien and my depression kicks in even more. I have been on solo trips, solo dates, tried online dating, but nothing works.

Every New year I think that it might happen this year, and I am 30 now but forget about a boyfriend, I haven’t even gotten my first kiss, something that most people have had by the end of their schooling.

I don’t even know any single man around my age as most men are taken by my age. It seems like a dead end for me.

Comments

  1. bubblesthecop Avatar

    You’re not behind, it just hasn’t happened yet. I’d try meeting people through hobbies instead of apps for a while.

  2. TopShelfSnipes Avatar

    Control the things that you can control:

    • If you’re not in shape, get in shape. This helps tremendously.
    • Do more things out of the house. Join a coed sports team, cultivate some new friend groups, try some new hobbies where there will be guys there. if you work somewhere that has single guys, go to the optional work functions and happy hours. Go to parties when your friends have them, and talk to strangers when you’re there.
    • Travel is for you, not for finding a partner. Long distance rarely works, and you’ll want to focus where you are for right now.
    • Get off the apps. The apps are a cesspool of players looking for hookups and desperate guys.
    • Cultivate a sense of humor. People underestimate what a turn-on this is.
    • Be more expressive with your body language – smile, make eye contact, be a little playful when you’re around people you like. Respond to flirting and flirt back when you’re around someone you’re interested in. Don’t come offf stoic unless you’re not interested.
  3. Chargin2 Avatar

    Location? In Westernised countries you should have men falling over themselves to be with you.

  4. witch_elia Avatar

    IT also needs active searching, it won’t happen itself like everybody says sometimes, you need to give signals that you are open to something otherwise in this age people just assume you have family or you don’t want to, you can try bars, dating apps or try to explore some rship with anyone in your surroundings – work for example.

    as someone shared, you can try hobbies, or some community and connect over shared interest – thats the best

  5. wkv8 Avatar

    Where are you from/ which country are you in now

  6. JavaLend Avatar

    Well, we’re in the same situation, so I understand how you’re feeling.
    At first, you might feel lonely, like a failure, or overwhelmed, but try to accept your situation without comparing yourself to others. I know it’s not easy, but start by reminding yourself that you’re okay, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now. Then, little by little, try to find something that interests or excites you. You might not get through it in just a few days or even a few months, but trust me, time will bring clarity, healing, and answers.
    Even though you will still feel empty sometime in the future, but Life will work itself out,..

  7. Admirable_Ad_478 Avatar

    The grass ain’t always greener on the other side. Just focus on your own happiness. It’s the only thing you can do.

  8. Roselily808 Avatar

    What effort are you making to meet people?

  9. SigourneyReap3r Avatar

    I’m 35 and have no intention of having kids or marriage.

    Everyone is at different stages of their life at all times, and everyone has different goals and wants.
    It’s okay to not fit into what other people do, comparison is the thief of joy.

    Work on you and go after what you want.

  10. Icy_Breakfast5154 Avatar

    I didn’t have a relationship or actual sex until I was 31. It was worth the wait.

    It also led to the worst days of my life.

    Everything is a trade-off.

  11. wisdom_owl123 Avatar

    Have you ever made thoughts of why it may be like this? What are your hobbies? Are you healthy?