So my sister… to put it nicely, is very promiscuous, she’s slept with most of her guy friends.
Now, she recently told me and our other sister and brother that she got in a huge fight with her husband.
See, her husband asked her if she’s keeps exes or others like that around, and my sister straight up lied, now, according to my sister, that was a deal breaker for him. Years later, they got married.
And her husband found out about it. Now they are in a huge fight.
I told my sister I love her, and hopefully things work out for the best.
She told me she can’t believe her husband might throw away years of marriage over this.
I told her “Sis, he told you from the get go, what did you expect would happen? Hoping he never found out was a gamble”
My sis got upset, honestly I do kind of regret saying that… I am a bit on the spectrum so this kind of slipped out..
Comments
Truth has a way of coming out. Honesty is always the best policy, in friendships and especially in marriages.
Your sister is a h0e and is suffering consequences of it. You’re NTA.
A ho’e is getting upset because she got caught after some years oh no so sad right??
This is all because she’s promiscuous and a liar. All her own work.
YTA for knowing she was lying to him and didn’t say anything
He wasted years on her and who knows how much money
Nta, she needed to hear that
That poor man, married a hoe without knowing…
NTA and you’re 100% right. Your BIL looks about ready to take steps to reinforce his personal boundary – preferring a partner that doesn’t keep her exes in her life.
Though you might want to “help” your sister out with this:
>She told me she can’t believe her husband might throw away years of marriage over this.
Ask her over what? The fact that she chose to keep her exes in her life despite knowing full well that BIL didn’t like that idea, or the fact that she got caught lying her entire relationship just to “secure” her husband – because she knows if she was honest about this, he never would have dated her, nevermind married her.
And spell it out to her this way: Yes, a lot of times a “zero tolerance for exes” policy can stem from insecurity, and you may have been 1,000% ‘clean’ in every interaction with an ex, and every ex has 1,000% not made a single attempt to “reconnect”. However, how are you going to prove this to BIL, when he now knows you’ve lied about them in the first place? What are you going to put in front of him, besides someone’s word, that this is the case? This lie of yours gives him valid reason to question everything you now say, or ‘ask’ someone to say, until you can rebuild his ability to trust your word.
Play ho games win ho prizes
One night stand doesn’t necessarily equal an ex. That said. Sister should’ve been upfront. (Although I’d be curious to know if hubby has any female friends he’s slept with.)
N T A for saying that lies are the issue, but Y T A for being judgemental about someone’s past relationships. Individuals are allowed to have previous sexual relationships as consenting adults in whatever form they occur.
NTA. Respectfully, your sister needs to stop being so selfish. She lied. For YEARS. Now she’s trying to convince people and probably herself that her husband is in the wrong for not accepting her. She never gave her husband the opportunity to accept her.
She lied. She hurt the man she supposedly loves. She wants to be a victim? What about her husband? The only thing she can do is own up to her deception. Acknowledge that her actions were selfish. Maybe she was scared he’d leave back then. So what? That should have been his decision. She might claim to love her husband but her actions indicate she loves herself more, and she will lie to ensure she is happy.
NTA
Hang on… I just commented something in another thread that’s also relevant here.
Lemme go grab it.
Edit: The relevant excerpt:
>My cousin “doesn’t believe in therapy”… and it shows, frankly (sadly).
>
>His life is basically just him repeating the 5-6 moves (maladaptive coping mechanisms) he knows, and he’s also on like his fifth or sixth marriage.
NTA – “He told me doing X was a dealbreaker for him. Why is he leaving me for doing X?”
Your NTA. The truth is your sister bold faced lied to her husband. She knew it, got caught and not will suffer the consequences.
All she had to do was not keep those people she had slept with around in her life. Honestly she created this ticking time bomb and it just blew up in her face. I just wouldn’t trust your sister around my husband knowing this.
NTA.
Actions have consequences. Your sister is now finding out that her actions of lying to her husband has consequences (the end of her marriage).
Your sister needs to take responsibility for her own behaviour and life.