So basically, I have an 11-year-old sister, and I’m 18. I’ve been ordering a lot of food lately, and on a whim, I heard my mom say she was hungry. Being the caring daughter that I am — duh — I told her she could have some of the food I just ordered. I was also hungry, but I still offered.
Now, my mom is really picky with food, so she usually doesn’t like much. When she tried what I got, she said it wasn’t to her liking.
Immediately, my sister swoops in and tries to eat it. Mind you — she knows I gave it to my mom and that it’s mine. Of course, I take it back from her and say, “Even if mom didn’t like it, you can’t have it — it’s mine.”
Yeah, my tone was a little mean, but still.
My sister gets upset, storms off to her room, and I literally hear her crying. My mom glares at me and rushes after her like I just committed a crime. I really don’t think it was that big of a deal?? It was a small thing — but stuff like this keeps happening. My mom always sides with my sister and becomes weirdly distant with me whenever I do anything that upsets her.
Side note: Whenever my stuff gets taken, broken, or destroyed by my sister, my mom doesn’t care. She doesn’t even have the energy to acknowledge it was wrong. One time, I found my gold necklace — a gift from my grandma — missing. And where was it? In my sister’s room. Broken.
I told my mom she took it, and I knew she did because she had literally asked me about it five minutes earlier. My mom knows too — I know she does — but she just brushed it off. Like, when something happens to me, it’s not a big deal. But when it happens to my sister? Suddenly it’s a tragedy.
The worst part? My sister isn’t even sneaky or sorry about it. When she broke my necklace, she straight-up said, in front of my mom:
“What’s yours is mine. Next time don’t say no to me.”
Her exact words. And my mom heard her. Did she say anything? Nope.
Idk I just want to make sure I’m not going crazy , is this not blatant favoritism ??
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So basically, I have an 11-year-old sister, and I’m 18. I’ve been ordering a lot of food lately, and on a whim, I heard my mom say she was hungry. Being the caring daughter that I am — duh — I told her she could have some of the food I just ordered. I was also hungry, but I still offered.
Now, my mom is really picky with food, so she usually doesn’t like much. When she tried what I got, she said it wasn’t to her liking.
Immediately, my sister swoops in and tries to eat it. Mind you — she knows I gave it to my mom and that it’s mine. Of course, I take it back from her and say, “Even if mom didn’t like it, you can’t have it — it’s mine.”
Yeah, my tone was a little mean, but still.
My sister gets upset, storms off to her room, and I literally hear her crying. My mom glares at me and rushes after her like I just committed a crime. I really don’t think it was that big of a deal?? It was a small thing — but stuff like this keeps happening. My mom always sides with my sister and becomes weirdly distant with me whenever I do anything that upsets her.
Side note: Whenever my stuff gets taken, broken, or destroyed by my sister, my mom doesn’t care. She doesn’t even have the energy to acknowledge it was wrong. One time, I found my gold necklace — a gift from my grandma — missing. And where was it? In my sister’s room. Broken.
I told my mom she took it, and I knew she did because she had literally asked me about it five minutes earlier. My mom knows too — I know she does — but she just brushed it off. Like, when something happens to me, it’s not a big deal. But when it happens to my sister? Suddenly it’s a tragedy.
The worst part? My sister isn’t even sneaky or sorry about it. When she broke my necklace, she straight-up said, in front of my mom:
“What’s yours is mine. Next time don’t say no to me.”
Her exact words. And my mom heard her. Did she say anything? Nope.
Idk I just want to make sure I’m not going crazy , is this not blatant favoritism ??
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
Since she is the golden child and you are 18 look i to moving out.
NTA
It’s definitely favoritism. Your little sister has it all figured out and knows how to work the angles with your mother.
Eventually, she will go too far and your mother will call her on it, but I wouldn’t hold my breath waiting for it.
Keep an eye on all your things, lock things that are super important to you away from prying eyes, as long as you have to live there. When you can, move out, because it must be really hard to live as a second-class citizen in your own house. Sorry you are having to deal with this.
YTA for fighting with a tween. You had already ceded that food to your mom; let your sister have her discards. You also acknowledge a mean tone to an 11yo
NTA it wasn’t offered to her and she needs to learn boundaries. She has a sense of entitlement thinking she can do whatever with what isn’t hers, hence breaks your stuff and tries to justify it.
At that age I’m surprised she hasn’t learned what empathy is and that’s concerning.
You’re 18, she’s 11. Put her in her place.
NTA, your anger in part is understandable aimed at your sister. She’s the one breaking your stuff and jada jada. She is, however, only 11 years old and was younger in previous situations. At the same time, you’re hardly adolescent yourself. Your mom is clearly not setting boundaries for your little sister, and with that, she created a situation where your sister thinks she can get away with everything while you feel the need to be extra protective against your sister. In the end, it’s your mom failing both of you instead of your nor your sister each other.
“Next time don’t say no to me?” And your mother ignores it? Man, your family sucks, don’t they? I’m so sorry. My life improved when I left my family home, I bet yours will, too.
Whenever you are addressing your sister to your mom, don’t use her name. Refer to her ‘your favourite daughter’. I learned it from my aunt, because my grandma play favourite. One time, my grandma was praising her fav daughter saying something (aunt’s name) is such a good daughter. The other non- fav daughter will correct my grandma, “your favourite daughter”. It was such a funny scene to witness and I used it on my dad after that.