Should I stay in a relationship where I’m loved deeply but feel unfulfilled and disconnected?

Hi everyone,

I (25M) have been in a 2-year relationship with my girlfriend (26F). She loves me deeply I truly believe I’m her whole world. And yet, I feel lost, emotionally drained, and unsure whether I belong in this relationship anymore.

Some context:

• I was diagnosed with mild Asperger’s. I’m introspective, quiet, and often emotionally distant not because I don’t care, but because it takes a lot for me to process and express feelings.
• I also seem to have a very high sex drive, maybe even hypersexual tendencies and that’s been one of the biggest pain points in the relationship.
• I don’t find my partner physically attractive, and our sexual life is almost nonexistent. I’ve tried to suppress these needs out of guilt or a sense of duty, but it’s affecting my mental health.

The emotional side is also complicated.

• She’s very attached to me, in an almost childlike, innocent way, which i like. She has a stuffed duck she’s had for 26 years, it’s incredibly important to her. Since we both love ducks, we started calling it our “son,” and over time we added four more duck plushies to our little “family.” Every night when we lie in bed, we talk to them, playfully imagine their personalities, and act like they’re our children. It’s a deeply personal, innocent ritual, and I’m the first person she’s ever shared this side of herself with. One of the hardest thoughts is imagining her not being able to look at her duck the same way if I leave or imagining her lying in bed, holding her duck, and hearing his little imagined voice ask, “Where is Papa?”… like I’d be taking away a part of her world that had finally come alive. (Writing this part made me cry)

• She’s also been very jealous and controlling in the past: I gave up friends, a part-time bar job I enjoyed, partly because someone I used to work with there was a woman I’d had a short-lived sexual connection with in the past. It was purely physical and ended well before I met my girlfriend, but even the idea of me being around her made my girlfriend uncomfortable, to the point where continuing the job felt impossible.

• We had a talk recently, and she apologized sincerely. She says she finally understands what I meant all this time, that she’s been too controlling, and she promises to change. But the damage feels… done. And I don’t know if I can find my way back emotionally.

I feel torn between two worlds:

1. One where I stay, try to “fight” for the relationship, even though I feel like I’ve already fought too long, too quietly.
2. Another where I leave, hoping for a future that’s more aligned with who I am, but knowing that I’ll break her in the process.

Music breaks me lately. A soft, melancholic song will hit and I’ll imagine her crying, alone, with our plush “kids,” and my heart just shatters. I hate hurting people. And I’ve always been the one who “stayed.” I’m empathetic to the point that it paralyzes me.

But I also wonder:

• Am I just leaving over “just sex”?
• Or am I finally recognizing that I’ve been bending myself out of shape for too long?

This is our second time trying this relationship. In the first attempt, I made a lot of mistakes. For example, I sometimes didn’t tell her about meeting up with people not because I was doing anything wrong, but because I wanted to avoid conflict and stress. But that avoidance broke her trust, and I fully admit that I’m not blameless in how things have unfolded. I’ve made choices out of fear, not honesty.

I guess what I’m asking is:
Has anyone been in a relationship like this — one that was emotionally deep but sexually or personally misaligned?
Is it selfish to leave when the other person loves you completely?
And how do you know if it’s worth fighting for something… or if the fight is only draining your soul?

Thanks for reading. I really needed to write this out.

tl;dr:
I’m 25, have mild Asperger’s, and have been in a 2-year relationship with my girlfriend who loves me deeply. Our relationship has emotional and sexual struggles — she’s been jealous and controlling, I’ve given up friends and hobbies. I feel torn and conflicted, especially about our lack of intimacy. We share a deep emotional bond, including a “family” with her beloved duck plushies, but I’m unsure whether to stay and fight or leave and heal. I’m looking for advice on whether this is worth saving or if leaving is the right choice.