Hey,
I’m really struggling and could use some advice from this community. I (F, 27)finally landed a job after being unemployed for a year (RIF at my Bulge Bracket Bank), and I was so excited to get back on my feet. But now, I’m dealing with constant harassment from my boss (the country manager), and it’s pushing me to the brink of burnout.
I always dress super conservatively for work—long skirts, blazers, nothing revealing. I’m talking full-on professional, no skin showing. Despite that, my boss keeps making inappropriate comments about my appearance. Last week, he said my outfit was “too sexual.” Another time, he asked if I’d gained weight (I’m 55kg, 176cm, not that it matters). He’s even asked if my boyfriend is rich “to afford me” and suggested I’d need a nose job to be a “perfect 10/10.” On top of that, he constantly criticizes my work, saying it’s terrible and that I’m too focused on my looks (which is so not true—I’m all about my job).
It gets worse: my boss is having an affair with a coworker, and she joins in, making comments like, “Look how sexual she looks,” even though I’m dressed as plainly as it gets. I don’t do anything to invite this, and it’s making me feel so small and powerless.
I went to HR, but it backfired hard—they didn’t take it seriously, and now I feel even more isolated. I’m scared to leave because I don’t want to be unemployed again, but the stress is crushing me, and I’m so burnt out. Has anyone here dealt with a toxic workplace like this? How do you cope with the burnout and harassment? Should I try to stick it out or start looking for something else, even though the job market scares me? Any advice or support would mean the world. Thanks so much for reading!