and am scared i never will be. i’ve tried to “make it fit” with several people – dated a handful for 6 months to a year – but always felt like the relationships had expiration dates and i couldn’t be fully “in it” with my partner. i’ve LOVED people – i care deeply about the people i’ve been with, and felt their pain as my own, but the long-term possibility is never there. no man has ever made me happier or more comfortable than i am on my own or with friends, and i’ve always felt drained and exhausted after spending time with them. i’ve been infatuated with people, felt intense sexual attraction, thought about them constantly, acted desperate in pursuit of unrequited crushes, but those were all people i didn’t truly get to know, so it was more obsession with the idea of a person. when i talk to people about this i’m told i just “haven’t met the right person,” but after 10 years of dating i’m starting to worry that person just isn’t out there. or maybe i’ll be one of those people that meets the love of their life at 60 and spends their golden years with them. if you found love later in life, any words of wisdom?
tl;dr i feel like something’s missing whenever i date, and i don’t know whether it’s me or the people i’m choosing
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I started dating when I was 19. Back then, I thought I was in love, but what I felt then was just a shadow of what I feel for my wife now. I’m grateful for my past relationships, they taught me a lot. But this is something entirely different.
I met her when I was 30 and she was 32. got married under two years later. I was her first partner. I’m about to turn 36 now, and I can honestly say it’s amazing. When you know, you just know.
Don’t worry. Love finds you in its own time. Wishing you the best, OP. Sending hugs. ❤️