I (F26) had a discussion about the topic cheaters yesterday with friends. Why do people cheat? If somebody cheats, are they always a cheater? Can they change? Or will they ever be a cheater and cheat again once the oppertunitiy arises? If they can change, how? We formed two camps: “Once a cheater, always a cheater” vs. “People can and are changing/ the past does not define you”. What do you think about this? Have you cheated before and changed? Have you expierenced a related situation? Whats your take?
TL;DR : Can cheaters change?
Comments
I’d like to think cheaters can change, yes. I ruined the most wonderful relationship I ever had by cheating and I certainly learned a great lesson. The reason I cheated isn’t even complex or because I wasn’t happy, it just fell into my lap and I was too weak to say no. I was totally in love my girlfriend so it had nothing to do with that. The worst part was seeing how devastating it was for her when she found out. If I do ever find love again, (I’m 43 so it’s doubtful), there’s no way in hell I’d ruin it by cheating. So yes, cheaters can change. People learn from their mistakes. Well, not everyone but some do!
Are you 26 or 28?
If you’ve come to Reddit, you’re going to hear “once a cheater, always a cheater”.
The reality is that there aren’t two kinds of people in this world, “cheaters” versus “non-cheaters”. All of us are messy human beings in some ways and messier at some times in our lives.
And for people in their early 20s, a lot of people are messy in their love lives because they party too much. They don’t own property with their partners so cheating is low stakes.
“yes”
“No they don’t”
“Yes they do, I did”
“Well it’s only a matter of time until you do again”
End discussion
Have you cheated? Ur account is very strange you have posted this same post a lot, you say here ur 26 but other posts say ur 28, ur history with ur bf is ropey, can we get some answers here?
“Once a cheater always a cheater” really only applies to why the person cheats in the first place.
There are people who cheat once and never again. This is because the reason they innially cheated was not born out of narcissism but out of something else…
a literal drunken mistake, dire mental and emotional breakdown in the current relationship (note i did not say lack of physical intimacy). There are a few more reasons but the point is the same. It wasn’t about them being narcissistic or prideful.
The people who cheat out of pride and narcissism will always be cheaters.