Let me start by saying that I (m24) love my girlfriend (f23). we have done a lot together and gone through a lot. she’s my first serious relationship and we have been together for 3 almost 4 years. As far as coexisting goes, we manage and theres no issues. basically we get along just fine. The only thing that has slowly crept up on my mind is that fact that we are just a bit incompatible when it comes to social situations, she would rather stay home than go out with friends. It often leaves me feeling guilty for not being around but i cant force her to do anything. I would like to spend more time with her, yet when it’s not something she likes then she will usually opt out. this is frustrating because I take her to do the things she likes such as shopping, driving to a cool place she saw online or anything like that. granted im the only one of us that drives but thats besides the point. sometimes i just feel like a chauffeur i guess. when im out without her (because she wanted to be home) she texts me asking when im coming back and if i can leave and get home already which is frustrating to me.
aside from that, another way in which im noticing we are incompatible is when it comes to sex. i could do it 20 times a day and still want more while she is fine with 2-3 times a month. this is killing me honestly. and she’s told me before that she had an ex that would pressure her into having sex or that he would leave her. obviously that has something to do with it. within that conversation she hinted that she was grateful for me because “i wouldn’t leave her if she stopped having sex with me so frequently.” this sentiment is misguided i fear. She has also told me that we used to have more sex in the past before we moved in because she didn’t want me to get bored and leave, and now that we live together she doesn’t have to try as hard when it comes to that.
it just all has me feeling worried that im wasting time or even just not being vigilant in my relationship because im letting these things that concern me slip through my fingers. she’s a great beautiful woman and in all other aspects she is wonderful. its just that sometimes i feel like im alone laying next to her. and i know i should tell her these things but i dont want it to come off the wrong way. sorry if this is full of run on sentences im at work in the bathroom lol.
TL;DR
after 3 years of being together im noticing possible sexual and social incompatibilities between me and my gf while everything is fine on the surface and its eating me up inside