We’ve been dating for a little over a year. Things were going well, or so I thought. Last weekend she sat me down and told me she lied about being pregnant a few months ago. At the time, she told me she had a miscarriage a week after she found out, and I was devastated for her. I supported her through it, emotionally and financially. Now she says she made the whole thing up to see how I’d react. Her words: “I just wanted to know if you’d stick around.” I’m completely floored. I don’t even know what kind of person does that. She says it came from insecurity, not malice, but I’m seriously rethinking everything. Is this a dealbreaker or something worth working through?
My girlfriend admitted she faked a pregnancy to “test” me
r/Advice
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This is pure evil and your girlfriend is a master manipulator. This would absolutely be a deal breaker for me.
This is fucked beyond measure. Immediate breakup.
This is the biggest red flag and one of he most disgusting act. Please consider if this is the relationship and this is the partner that you need.I’m hoping your answer will be no.
I don’t get why women can sometimes feel it’s important to test their partners.
I think it’s time to test her with a breakup to see how she handles being alone. 😒
This is beyond twisted, and if her insecurities are this deep, she needs help beyond what you can give her. It would be an immediate deal breaker for me.
Had this happen to me. Completely upsetting. Huge waving red flag. Your relationship is over. RUN.
How can this even be a question?
Immature and fucking psychotic. You realize this isn’t normal relationship shit right? Control and manipulation is toxic behavior for any relationship. You’re likely blinded by love here but you need to start seeing clearly and fucking run 🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃
You need to move on from her! That’s diabolical.
Run. She lied about the most important and impactful thing you could possibly do as a couple. She’ll lie about anything else if that’s not off the table.
I don’t like being tested, I would have just got up and packed her things and left it on the curb.
Now you know she’s manipulative, do you really want to hang around?
I agree with the others run! Look I might be able to forgive if she said she was pregnant just to gauge immediate reaction and then a few minutes later say was just joking or testing. But it’s a whole nother level to go on for weeks and then fake a miscarriage and then let that go on for months. What the actual fuck. She’s got issues.
Huge red flags waving and alarms all going off. Run!!!!
She’s a fucking psycho, why is this even a question in your mind? That’s my main concern here.
Whatever you’ve witnessed in your life to make this a “decision”, just know that this is demented behaviour and inexcusable and unjustifiable.
This is a deal breaker for me. I could never go back to looking at my gf the same way if this happened to me. Essentially, she’s trying to work out to what extent she can manipulate you. I think you should leave her, sorry OP
Bro not even trying to be funny…. RUN !
Nope nope nope. This is not accidental behavior. This is evil. Leave immediately. Doesn’t matter. This has happened to me once before and it is definitely evil. This is someone who will also smash their own face up, lure you over to their house, and have the cops meet you at the door to go to jail. This is someone who may also convince one of their friends to jump you and send you to the hospital based on a lie.
This is a person who perceives your failures and faults as an attack on their character. They use this subjective opinion to justify directly hurting you. Run the fuck away.
I generally agree. This behaviour stems from insecurity and immaturity. How old is she? The only thing that gives me pause is the fact she came clean. Any idea why?
She seems kind of crazy honestly
If this is true, it would be the immediate end of the relationship for me. I’d be packing by the time she finished talking. “I hope you’re not so fucking stupid and mean to your next partner. Bye.”
If you permit this, I have no idea how you could look yourself in yer face again. You’ll be her fucking idiot-dog forever.
Run
Nah, even if it was a dumb test, she could’ve said it right after, not milk you dry for weeks. She’s manipulating the shit out of you
The irony of being so afraid someone will leave you that you go off and do something absolutely worth leaving you for.
Move on dude. You don’t want this crazy in your life.
I get the feeling that reddit members are mostly single. Post after post regarding relationships, the dominant suggestion is to break up. Generally, people are human and make mistakes, and those that are unforgiving of them just aren’t going to get anywhere in life. They’re definitely not going to have lasting relationships. However, this is pretty bad this time. I would strongly consider breaking up over this myself. Do you think she’s tested you in other ways in the past too?
That particular “test” goes 2 ways, and she failed.
Only you can determine if it’s a dealbreaker for you, but it’s a red flag for sure. Testing your partner is crazy in itself, but testing someone with a fake pregnancy/miscarriage? That is life-altering and I don’t know how you could play like that with someone you love.
As someone who actually fell pregnant and miscarried, wow that’s a disgusting thing to do. Of course it’s good to know what someone would do, but if proper conversations about it aren’t enough, and you feel the need to manipulate someone to test it, you shouldn’t be with them in the first place.
You are not wrong for feeling disgusted by this. I know you didn’t say that but it honestly it’s disgusting and extremely weird 😫 Idc anyone who fakes pregnancy or an illness for attention or to “test” someone is deeply unwell. It would absolutely be a deal breaker for me. It’s a huge character flaw.
FUBAR
In my opinion, this is not just a red flag. This is the whole damn parade. I’m telling you straight up, if someone lies about creating a life just to “test” your love, you’re not in a relationship. You’re in a psychological experiment. And you didn’t consent to it.
I’ve been through betrayal before. Not this exact kind, but I’ve had people I loved lie to me in ways that made me question reality. And what I learned the hard way is this: once someone plays games with your heart, especially at that level, the trust isn’t bruised. It’s shattered. Faking a pregnancy isn’t some small fib. It’s manipulative. It’s emotionally abusive. And saying it came from “insecurity” doesn’t make it better. That’s like someone burning your house down and saying, “I was cold.” Okay. But now everything’s still in ashes.
You said you were devastated. You supported her emotionally and financially. That means she watched you suffer. That means she JUST SAT IN IT. That means SHE let you grieve something that never existed. That’s not insecurity. That’s control. That’s seeing how far she could push your loyalty before you broke. That’s testing the limits of your sanity and calling it “love.”
Psychologically? What she did sounds like it leans toward borderline traits that need for reassurance that turns into manipulation. Believe what you want to believe. I’m just someone who’s learned to call a spade a spade.
This IS A DEAL BREAKER. NO amount of apology, crying, or asking for forgiveness would suffice. I wouldn’t stay. Not because I’m cold, but because I believe real love can’t survive that kind of breach. Once someone uses life or death stakes to “TEST” you, what’s next? Faking cancer? Pretending to be assaulted? There’s a line. This absolutely CROSSED it
Between now and dead, do you wanna spend your life proving you’re loyal to someone who plays with your emotions like it’s a game? Or do you wanna find a woman who tests your loyalty by being honest and seeing if you’ll rise with her, not for her?
I know what I’d pick.
Manipulator alert. She’s willing to lie, she will do it over and over again.
That’s so manipulative and awful I’m sorry you experienced that, she is obviously dealing with some sort of insecurities and is seeking validation and acceptance from you. She should have had a conversation with you about what she was feeling or simply asked how you would feel in a situation like that not completely act as if it did happen.. I don’t even understand how someone does that.
Run away
Reddit often leans heavily toward “break up” advice, but in this case, it truly is a deal breaker. In most states, this kind of behavior could legally be considered domestic violence; it’s important to remember that, from a legal standpoint, domestic violence includes much more than just physical abuse. If the roles were reversed, I imagine the consequences for you would be much more severe.
I’m not a fan of blindly criticizing people for their mistakes, and it’s clear she needs therapy to address her personal issues. However, for your own safety and self-respect, I believe ending the relationship is the right choice. You can be compassionate while still maintaining your boundaries. I’m sorry you’re going through this, and I hope things get better for you.
She broke your trust. Deal breaker.
Next time, ask to see/watch the “test” don’t take words for it.
This was terrible.
Absolute deal breaker. Think about the future. You’ve only been dating a year and she’s already faking a pregnancy. What do you think she’ll actually do when she gets pregnant or you’re married?
I wouldn’t feel secure around a person like this.
I would break up.
Aw, hell no.
Leave her.
Yea that’s a no go I would really recommend leaving she’s testing you because she’s insecure
Get that evil out of your life Ricky Bobby
Deal breaker. Besides the psychological issues that would be behind having the ability to pull this off, she’s basically said she doesn’t trust you. With one fell swoop also dissolves your trust in her. Love doesn’t survive without trust. This is a resentment that I wouldn’t be able to move past. I’d suggest therapy for you both (individual) — you don’t want this to affect your future relationships with women because it easily can.
It’s beyond my imagination why would you do that to someone you love…
Personally for me, it would be a deal breaker. And it will make me question absolutely everything she does from now on… I could not live my life with someone that I don’t trust anymore.
And well, you can now tell her that she failed your trust test with this stunt that she pulled. 🙂
Sorry this happened to you OP. I don’t know how the miscarriage news affected you, but I don’t imagine as being an easy thing for you…
Good luck 🤗
Had a girlfriend try this shit! I was sure she was lying and told her so. Suddenly she was pregnant and the test was wrong! Cut her off immediately!
You missed ex in the title and post.
What a deplorable woman. There’s nothing to work through it’s manipulative and cruel. What next? She’ll lie about being raped? Cancer? Parent dying?
I’m not going to tell you to leave her. All of single Reddit will do that instead. I am going to ask you this. What other surprise tests are you going to have to face in the future? If you do get married does she have a surprise fidelity test for you after 10 years together or something else? Ask yourself is this what I want? You will know what to do for you.
Unfortunately, this isn’t the first time something like this has happened. Other men have been “tested” in this way. It’s absolutely insane behavior. Breakup. She’s mentally unwell.
Drop her faster than she dropped a fake pregnancy on you
This wasnt to test you, it was to come clean and that was her way of softening the blow on her. That is batshit crazy gtfo of there man
Deal breaker. What the hell is wrong with her. How old is she?
Deal breaker. How tf old is she?! Pregnancy isn’t something to joke about. She has some deep problems.
What she did is a survival instinct, a deep-rooted test of loyalty and commitment. It’s brutal, sure, but primal and logical: in the evolutionary game, a woman’s uncertainty about a partner’s staying power can trigger extreme “stress tests.” Faking pregnancy to see if you’d stick around fits this pattern, ugly as it is. Judging her from moral high horse won’t get you anywhere. question is – Does this break your trust irreparably, or can you see it as a flawed but human defense mechanism that you might work through if other fundamentals are strong?
you don’t know what kind of person does that?! – human does that. it’s nothing that didn’t happened before or won’t happen after.
I know you’re still trying to process this OP, and we may not know your girlfriend, but I’m going to be brutally honest with you, that is absolutely unhinged behaviour from her. Normal people don’t feel the need to “test” relationships, and this was an insanely cruel and evil test for her to try over what I assume would have been an extended period of time.
There is genuinely no acceptable reason for doing something like that, it’s emotional abuse. I’m willing to bet she’s only told you because someone else threatened to tell you and she’s trying to get ahead of it, or it’s another way to mess with your head and control you. You can’t trust someone who would do something like that, and if it were me I’d be ending things immediately. Just be prepared for her to have a full meltdown if you do, abusive people don’t like losing control.
You should break up with her as a test lol
I would leave her without so much as a courtesy goodbye. That’s some really toxic behavior and someone willing to do that for their own selfish reasons doesn’t deserve an iota more of your time/concern.
I can’t believe how emotionally abusive this is to you.
Soooo. What else did she lie about to “test” you?
I’d ask her if you passed her test…because she failed yours
When they play games like this it’s a huge red flag!
Run for your life dude! This is some sick behaviour
Be prepared, this is the same kind of manipulator that will threaten to kill themselves if you leave.
My ex faked lung cancer for similar reasons. She seemed so content when she admited it and knew that “I truly loved her”. I really regret forgiving her for that stunt. It will only get worse
She’s nuts. She’ll continue her attention tricks and you’ll never be able to give her enough so she’ll be getting some behind your back with another man
Lauf Forrest, lauf!
This is a deal breaker, and I dont say these things lightly.
She chose to willingly cause you distress and hurt and financially put you out to “test” you.
As if the last year of being by her side wasn’t passing a “test.”
As if your precious time was worth wasting – not just with an immature prank but with spending time to build a relationship and establish trust through that.
As if your word wasn’t enough for her in the now, but it was enough to date her and get her attention then?
It all went in one ear and out the other.
Everything you’ve built came crashing down the moment she put her insecurities and lack of confidence in herself onto the relationship that you shared together. She selfishly sacrificed all of it, whether intentionally or not. You won’t be able to trust her again. Oftentimes, when fake pregnancies “fail” the first time, they get suddenly get serious and very real the next time when they realize they could actually lose you. Then you’re stuck! So stop touching her. These stunts? They’re like dry runs. And not just for future pregnancy scares but with cheating scandals and finances and familial relationships. The troubles just grow, but her securities and confidence in herself never will. It’s hard to be proud of yourself when you’re digging yourself outta holes to get it right?
She needs hard work on herself that neither you nor a relationship with you can help her with. You won’t be able to revisit this with her after the work is done, though she’s going to ask, because you won’t be able to forget how vulnerable she made you and how calloused it was to take something so special and then ruin it like that for you to her benefit. You heard you were going to be a father for the first time. She took that from you.
It’s just done, and you need time to mourn all the loss and the experience you just had. You can’t do that saddled with her insecurities.
She didn’t entitely lie, I guess. She miscarried your relationship. Cut the cord and say goodbye.
Title tells me you need to say goodbye. Nope.
If she manipulated you once, she will do it again. You will never be able to trust her after this.
Please find a way to leave her. It might be hard at first. But once all is done, you will feel so much better
That’s sociopathic behaviour.
run
Leave.
No healthy person does this.
I’m kinda sorry for her that her theatrics are creating self-fulfilling prophesies of abandonment.
But. The trust won’t ever heal right, unless she gets into some serious therapy and accountability work. I’m glad for her that she told you about the lie eventually. But unless this person is committed to growth/coming out of something awful, this is just too serious a manipulation to forgive.
Basically “if you have to test your partners for safety, you’re the unsafe one”. It’s common. And sad.
This is how you respond.
Thank you for coming clean about the lie. However, I am glad that I passed your test, but I can no longer be in a relationship where my partner is not trustworthy and deceives me. Then tell her its over and walk away.
This is bunny-boiler shit. Dodge that bullet immediately.
Brother in arms , break up, such woman will play more extreme tricks, now she says she was testing up is just a way to test how will to react to it, ” forgive or move on “, she is well prepared
Run, son.
She lied. What else is she lying about?
Your stb ex is a psychopath….. run
I’m willing to bet all of her ex’s before you were abusive and toxic too
🤣🤣🤣 was ne bitch. Hoffe du hast sie schon abgeschossen… Was stimmt im Kopf solcher Leute nicht.
I would say bye bye to her
RUN!
As someone who has gone through several miscarriages, it’s sickening that someone would make a “joke” about such a thing to test someone. She’s a horrible person to dismiss the genuine grief women in that situation have to go through and a nasty piece of work to test a partner like that. She subjected YOU to emotional grief as well because she made you believe YOUR baby died. That was cruel! Why are you with her still??? She lied and manipulated you at the very least. Is that the foundation of a good relationship?
This happened to me in my first marriage. She turned out to be a huge cheater and physically abusive
Your GF has a little bit of a mental issue if she thinks doing this is ok. This is awful.
This is histrionic personality disorder behavior. (Not diagnosing, just saying, in my field I have see A LOT of women faking pregnancies, lying about miscarriages, etc and many of them are diagnosed.) Definitely expect more unless she seeks help. She sounds like she needs help with her self esteem/insecurity issues at the very least.
Lied about being pregnant. Then lied about having a miscarriage. That’s truly disgusting. That’s psychopathic.
That’s a dealbreaker to me.
If she is ok to lie about something so big. What else is she ok with lying about?
Can’t not be trusted anymore.
Break it off now before there’s a child involved and things get worse for you
Leave that stupid bitch. These ‘tests’ this generation talk about constantly are absolutely ridiculous. There’s no way I’d ever forgive her for that.
these games are emotionally manipulative, indicitive of either severe insecurity or sever callousness and you should 98 percent leave.
Ah HELL NO.
This will not be her first “loyalty test” even if it might not be pregnancy next time. Run brother, she is evil.
When or if she really do be pregnant you wouldn’t know to believe her or not this is a dealbreaker if she lied once imagine what else she a lie about
Run.
Oh, okay, she put you through an emotional rollercoaster, extreme anxiety AND grief, just to make herself feel less insecure. Yeah, that’s love right there, alright. 🤡
This is beyond manipulation, it’s ABUSE.
Just RUN AWAY and SAVE YOURSELF….
Women like your (hopefully soon to be ex) gf that do this kind of stuff faking pregnancy and miscarriage is why women who legitimately do have miscarriages are not taken seriously.
I found out 3 weeks after a breakup I was pregnant, I tried to talk to him his response was “I don’t believe you I’m sorry you feel you have to go to these lengths”
A month later I miscarried, tried to talk to him because like that was his child he should know. No response. 8 years later he contacts me saying he wants to talk because now he believes me he said “I figured if it was a lie to keep me you couldn’t keep it going all these years”.
I didn’t want to open the old wound I had done my healing from losing a child I wanted, that I intended to raise alone, I didn’t want anything from him. I told him the time to talk about this was years ago, he should’ve taken it seriously then.
So yeah no respect for someone like your gf, it’s emotionally manipulative and if it’s a test of anything it’s a test to see how much bullshit she can pull before you end things. So dude end things and save your sanity, because a person like this will destroy you.
I had a ex girlfriend who did the same shit only she told me she didn’t want to keep the baby, and asked me for money to help pay for a abortion. So I did because I didn’t want to have anymore kids. Come to find out it was a lie broke up immediately after. Never looked back she contacted me about ten years later acting as if nothing happened talked to her once and haven’t heard back since. Start doing things to cut ties with this person asap.
Holy fuck dude, that’s absolutely insane. This is some the most devious shit I’ve ever heard of. I think this might be the first time I can 100% that you gotta get this insane person outta your life. You’d actually be doing her a favor by cutting all ties, because maybe(but I highly doubt it) she will get a clue to never do this to a human being again. JFC
Cheat on her. Tell her that it’s just a test to see if she would stick around. 🤣
Se’s probably right about that it comes from insecurity. The worst people in society are those who are terribly insecure.
Total dealbreaker ❌❌❌❌
Had an ex girlfriend do that to me once. That’s why she’s an ex. If she felt like she had to test me, there is a bit of a problem.
Later found out she pulled that same trick on previous boyfriends.
If she’d do that early in the relationship when most are on their best behavior, imagine how manipulative she’ll be when you are trapped in marriage.
She is a nut case. You don’t need this in your life.
Let me fix your post – “My now ex GF lied to me about being pregnant and then lied about having a miscarriage. How do I process such narcissistic abuse going forward.”
This woman told you that you potentially lost your child via miscarriage. That’s not testing you – that is psychopathic manipulation that no one should ever tolerate. Nor would I be quiet about it either. Who knows how many other times they have “tested” a partner. Better to find out now before you actually do end up tied to her for life via a child.
OP – I am so sorry. Do not sleep with her no matter what. There are much better women and mother material out there.
Not only is this crazy behavior. But this is a major break of trust. It’s not just a lie it’s manipulation. End it.
This shows you just how manipulative and mentally fcked up she is. This isn’t something you do as a “test”. What happens if she tries to dial up the crazy and does something worse? Where does it end? This isn’t stable behavior. I’d definitely be breaking up before she goes too far. Also record the breakup if legal in your state to cover yourself if she tries to accuse you of anything…