I (25F) went out to dinner with a group of friends last night. We usually just split the bill evenly to keep things simple. But this time, one of my friends (24F) ordered two appetizers, a main, two cocktails, and dessert, while I only got a main dish and a soda.
When the bill came, it was way higher than what I ate. I said I’d just pay for what I ordered plus tax and tip, and she got really mad, saying I was being cheap and that it’s always been the rule to split evenly.
I told her I don’t mind splitting evenly when everyone orders similar amounts, but this felt unfair. The rest of the group didn’t say much, but things were awkward after.
AITAH for not wanting to pay for her extra food and drinks?
Comments
NTA at all. But for future, just keep things simple and just each pay for your own food and drinks regardless. Splitting can cause resentment. Seperate bills is very normal if you aren’t a couple.
NTA, but definitely establish beforehand whether it’s split bill or not. I’ve never had this issue as I always check beforehand. Has kept me out of trouble 100%
NTA.
She’s taking advantage of the group.
It’s separate checks for everyone from now on.
NTA. Were these small appetizers, or did this person just order a giant meal? I guess it doesn’t really matter. Let this be a lesson, whenever you go out to eat, just ask for separate checks (and make it known to the server at the beginning of the meal). Much easier to deal with.
NTA. There’s always one that takes advantage and gets greedy. Never split the bill. Just pay for you each have. It’s easier and won’t get greedy assholes like your friend taking the mick.
I’d rather be cheap than greedy.
I have never understood the “split the check evenly” thing. People should only pay for what they order!!
NTA
You not wrong BUT you saw and heard her order 2 cocktails, 2 appetizers, etc. You could have said something then!
This is NOT a friend! She is a user and narcissist!! Ditch her!
NTA- She was definitely trying to take advantage of the friend group. Just ask for your own separate check from now on.
That’s why people avoid splitting checks especially if it’s a large party.
Is this not the same as the last 10 stories about exactly the same thing?
NTA, definitely! I would ask to split checks in this situation. I normally pick up entire check but for some reason when people take advantage I get petty. I wonder if the server gets better tips from check splitting or worse?
I dated a teacher back in the 90s. He was broke, having to pay for student loans and earning the first year’s teacher wages. So, we alternated who would pay. One day, we stopped at Burger King to grab a quick bite. I ordered my usual whopper junior meal and water, and he ordered the same, reaching for his wallet. I reminded him it was my turn to pay, so he canceled his order and changed it to two double whoppers, a large fry and a large chocolate cake.
We didn’t last.
I only have 1 friend I split the bill with because she doesn’t take the piss and we always spend similarly.
She doesn’t drink, I do. But she gets sides and deserts and stuff so it’s always about the same.
Everyone else? I make a point of establishing separate checks before eating. I’ll never do group shared checks again!
NTA
The bill should only be split evenly if people eat and drink evenly.
She says to split the bill evenly…did you guys eat/drink evenly? Ugh.
NTA for standing up for yourself, YTA for coming here and to double check when you already knew it was unfair.
Follow your gut feeling people!
The rest of the group didn’t say much because they were glad that you were the one that finally said something.
NTA. She knew what she was doing. Not much of a friend. She should have offered first.
From now on start having separate bills.
I swear to god I don’t understand this “splitting the bill evenly” evenly bullshit.
I go out to eat with friends? We tell the waiter we need separate checks. We go to a bar? We all open up our own tab.
Your “friend” stating that you are being cheap by not wanting to split the bill is her saying she KNOWS she’s being an ahole and is expecting everyone else to foot her bill. SHE’S CLAIMING THAT YOU ARE BEING CHEAP.
You are NTA but your friend is a arse.
The audacity to say you’re being cheap!
That rule never works out…….pay for your own is a pretty simple solution
Good for you! If you want to make it even simpler in the future, ask the waiter for a separate check at the beginning of the night or as a quiet side ask at some point. That way, they have already separated your check and the mental gymnastics and conflict can be minimized when it comes time to pay. If your friend argues with you, simply state you are working on your budget and had a specific amount you needed to stay under to stay on track. None of her business though! She is taking advantage of you and good on you for setting this boundary.
Great job setting a boundary!
NTA there are always people who take advantage of the splitting evenly thing. My broke ass will always clarify I will only pay for My stuff or if I’m treating someone and if they try to order lobster/alcohol on my dime I will call them on their shit
NTA – she intentionally ordered that much food assuming she wasn’t gonna have to pay for it all on her own and that you guys would all help cover her portion. I would suggest doing several bills from now on.
NTA I’m not paying for all that
NTA. Your friend needs to curb her appetite or someone is going to have to roll her in flour and aim for the wet spot
Did your 24f friend eat two appetizers, a main, dessert and drink two cocktails all on her own? Or did she pack up some to take home?
“Sure we can split the bill…..but how about you kick in a bit extra for the additional food and drinks you ordered”
No. Did your friend take home all of the second parts that she ordered? Kind of sounds familiar to me like she was buying for someone else or to make sure she had another meal out of this meal ticket
NTA. Let the rest of them subsidize her then. You didn’t want to be taken advantage of, good for you.
She’s not your friend and doesn’t respect you. The people who act like this are the ones who benefit in scenarios like this.
NTA at all. You’re not there to subsidize her avarice.
“Cool cool, I’ll order an entree a dessert to go on this same check, and we’ll split it evenly.” Lol
Nta. This is why unless im paying everything we split the bill to what we order. People who complain about that are wanting others to subsidize thier meals..
Why bots post this same narrative and people fall into the urge of comment?
The repetitive ones:
-Why I to have the split the meal deal
-Brother/Sister, BIL/SIL wants my bedroom on vacations, mommy and daddy are on their side of request
-At my weeding, sister or SIL want to make announcement and parent side with her
-Parents side with the request of spoiled/ entitled brother/sister
-Brother/sister want to name their kid with name I select.
Always the same… AITAH for requesting more mod regulation on the posts?
NTA. Your response was good. I would have said, “I am all for splitting the bill when everyone is spending the same amount, but I am not anyone’s food stamps and hope none of my friends tried to game the system.”
This comes up so often I’m thinking it’s a common issue in the world. Why don’t you all just request separate checks when you order? I wouldn’t pay for a moocher to scam free food off me unless it’s a family member I’m obligated to feed .
NTA
I am being frugal. What’s wrong with that? Why do you expect me to pay for your meal? That’s rude.
NTA
It’s wild when someone calls someone else selfish while they’re trying to get people to pay for their meal
it’s always been the rule
yeah and she’s exploiting it massively
We do this too, but 100% of the time if someone has had significantly more, they tend to offer to put in more. Because no-one wants to take the piss with their friends do they..
Wanting to pay what you personally owe obviously doesn’t make you an AH. But the words you chose or the tone you used in a group to single out one person could have.
I’ll tentatively say you’re the AH because it reads like you were upset about one person in the group ordering more and made it known they were the reason you didn’t want to do what was normal in your group. Publicly calling someone out like that is an AH move. Seems like everyone else was willing to cover the extra for that person so depending on the size of the group it wouldn’t have been a big increase to you personally.
Were you grumpy or upset with this person for other reasons? Does she often order significantly more and you boiled over this time?
You could have told the table money is tight so you ordered light and can only pay for yourself without making it about one person ordering so much.
At that point you should have ordered a shit ton to go, then look her dead in the eyes and agree to split even.
She if she gets the point then.
If there’s a bunch of you splitting pizza and beers or whatever and you’re all consuming roughly the same the splitting is straightforward but mostly you’ll find some folks are drinking and others not or some are having appetisers and desserts and others just ordering a salad. Paying for your own is the only way to go. It works just as happily for people who’d like a steak or a glass of bubbly but don’t want others to subsidise their indulgences.
NTA. I’d suggest next time making it clear you’re not participating in the one big beautiful restaurant bill and will order separately.
I don’t understand why people are reluctant to just flat out call out the person’s behavior. Example:
Glutton: calls out OP for not splitting
OP: B@*ch, I had a sandwich and a Coke. Meanwhile, you’re over here with a whole 4 course meal. Pretty obnoxious of you to let everyone subsidize your banquet over here.
They’ll keep doing it because people don’t call them out, and they get away with it.
INFO
What was the rest of the group ordering? Did you all share the appetizers, or did she eat both of them by herself? Why were you two the only ones splitting the check? Did everyone else request separate checks?
The only people that are gung ho, fuss and want to split the bill evenly are those who ordered the most.
she did that on purpose. nta
I only split evenly if they’re comparable orders.
Why would you split the bill? What is the reason for that kind of habit?
I avoid this nonsense at all costs. When the waitress/waiter comes to take drink orders, I clearly say “this will be separate checks, please.” Never had a problem since everyone knows before they order.
Deja vu, same plot, different day.
Cheap is ordering a bunch of food and then trying to manipulate others into paying for it.
NTA. If she is going to order more than everyone else, then she can pay for her own food. You never have to subsidize someone else’s meal.
The only cheap person here is her.
This is one of my biggest pet peeves and I stopped going out to most of my friends’ dinners because of this. People order lots of drinks and I never do, I just end up paying for my friends drinks every time, so lame so I just stopped going.
I’m usually the one who orders appetisers, but I always pay for that separately even if other try a bit
NTA
I had a coworker like that who always invited folks to grab lunch together, and without fail, when the average bill was lower than what she ordered she’d say “let’s just split evenly cuz it’s easier on the waiter” but when it wouldn’t benefit her she would automatically ask for separate checks without checking with people.
I eat vegetarian and usually just drink water, which means I was always paying a good bit extra when we split the bill. After I noticed her pattern it annoyed me, so I started ordering an app or extra side and taking half as leftovers back to my desk (lunch for tomorrow basically) just to curb the pattern. I don’t mind losing out occasionally (since it’s going to happen more often than not as the sole vegetarian in a group of omnivores), but I don’t like when people play games with my money.
NTA why is there always one who thinks it’s fine to eat on everyone else’s dime.
This same scenario has been posted several times with minor variations. At least try to be original
Did she share the appetizers? If so, id pick
Up one if the appetizers. The rest was clearly on her. Taking advantage.
Splitting checks is not hard and is part of table service. Always say, im on a separate tab when you order. Period.
“Oh, waiter, I’ve decided to order dessert after all. Bring me your largest desert lobster and a bottle of your finest dessert wine.”
I see this question regularly.
NTA.
But, maybe next time, order three apps, three main meals (plus maybe two to go, right out the gate), dessert, have several drinks. Then when she objects, “stop being cheap, we always just split the bill evenly.”
‘I’m sorry, did you over order on the assumption that others would pay for your food? I’m all for equality when we order the same amount but I won’t cover you wanting to take advantage. Not unless it means next time I can order twice the amount and you’ll pay for it’
There is no rule, maybe the norm, but not a rule. Nta
Never understood splitting the total like that. Me and da boys always do separate checks, unless it’s somebody’s birthday and we all fight over who gets to pay for our special lil guy. It’s easy enough at most places.
Separate. Checks. Especially when there’s a group because of people like your friend. Why would she think that others have to pay for her TWO apps, TWO drinks AND a dessert. You weren’t being cheap. She started it by being GREEDY!
How is it not cheap to be the one to expect other people to subsidize your choices?
This same story every other day on here.
Venmo
People who get mad about that are basically admitting they were planning on you subsidizing their meal. In her shoes I’d insist on paying my fair share and if others insisted on an even split I’d leave the extra in a tip.
Someone like that is a user who relies on the politeness of others. Nta.
Never split the bill evenly. Pay for your shit, that’s it. Only time I split evenly is when a friend and me treat a group of friends.
But otherwise the only people who want to split evenly, are the ones who plan on exploiting the others.
NTA, fuck her for trying to make you fund her entitled ass
Did she eat the two appetizers and dessert for herself or did she order them for the whole group eat them except for you?
If it was all just for her it seems excessive and you’re in the right for not wanting to pay.