22 M, Not even 20 minutes ago I got assaulted by minors. I was maybe 30 metres away from my workplace with dozens of people to witness when a group of about 4-5 minors shoulder bumped me HARD. I turn around to confront them and by the time I get a few words out BANG bitch slapped across the face and a coke can thrown at me.
I wasn’t that phased in the heat of the moment, very level headed and the only thing stopping me from swinging back was how many of them them were and that they were minors and I was outside my workplace.
I don’t usually feel small but now, it’s hitting me. I’m pretty confident, and I’ve got a solid build. I carry myself well. But right now? I just feel weak and ashamed. It’s shaken me more than I expected and I feel heavy in my chest. What do I do now?
EDIT: I have already reported and done the logical stuff. I more mean’t that I was emasculated and wanted to know what I should do to get rid of that feeling. I just hit a gym sesh which helped.
Comments
Report it to the police, dont punch back unless you absolutely have to.
fuck them. They initiated, you have a human right to self defense. Bitch slap em right back, folllow up and its wraps.
You do not deserve this, and these kids should not be able to get away with this. If it happens again, please please fight back and defend yourself, no matter what others say. (Besides fuck dem kids little bastards anyways, may as well throw hands if you get the chance)
Call 911 RIGHT AWAY. File a report to the police. Say what they looked like, ask your work if there are security cameras around the premise (even if it’s around the corner they could have caught them), the police will ask the witnesses which can give descriptions, etc.
Make sure these evil bastards don’t get away with this. And for your information it doesn’t matter at all whatsoever how “built” you are in any realistic physical confrontation in the modern day. What matters are weapons. I’m not advocating for using firearms, knives, or batons on minors but pepper spray goes a long way.
Lastly, I get that you had to vent but Reddit isn’t the place to talk about a crime that just happened when you didn’t even call 911. That’s just a dumb move and it makes me think this is a karma farm post.
I mean, if you were that close to your work, youre in a business area of your town. If you want actual evidence, you have probably about a week before the video footage gets erased if anything was caught at all on camera.
So you go to the police. Like now.
You live in a complex society where you need to suppress your baser instincts. Yeah, you just got your salad tossed, but honestly, dont you feel the same after getting humiliated in other areas of life? It’ll pass, just like every other shitty thing you go through.
Don’t be impulsive. Just go to the gym or something and move on with your life. If it keeps haunting you, you’ll have some unpacking to do, but seriously, dont let this live in your head. It literally could have happened to anybody.
I had 3 grown men in their 40s trying to start a fight with me the other day.
I forgave them so I didn’t have to pack around all that negative energy. They were obviously loser’s, I feel bad for them that they haven’t grown up in all that time.
It’s counter intuitive to forgive them, but it’s where the true relief comes from.
call the cops and report the assault duh it’s 2025 there’s cameras on everywhere. Atms, street corners, buildings, Teslas. Go handle that…..immediately
Hit back when hit, don’t be a punk.
First is to get away from the situation, and second is to check for cuts or stabs, and then I quick medical inspection to see if reverting is working as intended. None of that seems applicable in this situation though. Generally a smart move to not start a fight with 4-5 people when you are alone, as you’d propably lose that confrontation no matter how small or unskilled they were.
This is my biggest fear ngl. Hope you you get it solved with the law, I don’t see other options.
Surely theres CCTV the police can look at
Unfortunately, the thing about being subjected to violence out in the world is it’s often SO random and it makes you feel SO helpless. I got mugged once as a kid and sexually assaulted another. Mugging just made me realize I wasn’t as cool or strong as I thought. When I was sexually assaulted/molested, I was surprised by how much I kinda froze. All this guy did was stick his hand down my pants n cup my balls. I wasn’t really scared or even upset afterward, but I’d been holding a skateboard. I kicked myself for a while for not having the impulse to use it.
More recently, I was nearly mauled by a huge dog while walking to my car. I fumbled with my keys like someone in a horror movie. I felt SO helpless. Kinda messed with me for a while. I started carrying a pocket knife with me pretty much all the time so I know I have SOME form of real self defense. It’s at least psychologically empowering
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Report it to the police, the statistics matter.
I will say this as someone who got car jacked at gun point.
Don’t hold your feelings in, allow yourself to feel the emotion.
It’s okay
Your safe now
Go out and chill in nature and just relax maybe get a massage.
I highly recommend yoga because it moves stored up trauma in the body.
Go to a boxing gym, not a cardio boxing gym but like a gym’ that teaches technique, maybe MMA or Muaythai. It will help you take your power back and feel good again.
You did the right thing about not engaging because they are minors, now it’s time to walk with confidence that it’s not going to happen again.
Minors under criminal age or just kids not quite an adult?
A hard slap or a push away from you could work.
Police won’t do much unless they use a bottle of a blade.
Where are you from? Start carrying whatever you can. In most of the world the most you can get away with legally is pepper spray, if that
You did the right thing by not escalating it further. Time will slowly make you feel normal again.
Hey, I’m a woman but I can tell you that makinf the responsible choice which is to not swing back – was way more masculine than responding in a situation in which you know very well thant you will be destroyed.
You’re not less masculine. You’re even more masculine.
Join a kickboxing class and get good enough to spar, you’ll be getting punched in the face enough times it becomes normal, but you’ll be able to dish it out as well so these things won’t be such a bother
Write down every detail you remember. It can also help to close your eyes to better focus on details like sounds you heard, movements they made, aspects of their facial features or clothing or accessories, guess their heights relative to your own height or objects in their vicinity, personal details they dropped before/during/after, the direction they came from and left in, whether anyone in the group or near the group looked guilty for letting it happen. Try to drill down the time it happened within 5-10 mins. If you’re somewhere with doorbell or retail cameras, you can talk to them about pulling footage to be shared with the police.
Get contact details from witnesses (calling the cops is generally not timely, especially if they’re not there anymore). If this occurred near a school for kids that are or you’re in a smaller town/city that only has one or two schools for kids that age, you could even call the schools, explain you believe you may have been assaulted by a group of their students, and ask that if the description matches their students they follow up with the police (provide officer contact info and police report number… I can’t imagine a school would just disclose identifying details about minors to a rando calling them, but they may let slip a confirmation if those kids are known to them)
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Follow them home.
Good job keeping your cool, I def would have been arrested for assulting minors
> emasculated
That word needs to fuck off and die, you handled it well, you didn’t hurt anyone including yourself, you did what I’d do now in my 40’s as a sensible put together grown up – young me maybe not so much and there is no winning that one, if you beat the shit out of them it’s an adult beating up a kid (doesn’t matter if the kid is 17 and built like a prop forward) or they swarm you and you take a beating or worse – gangs of kids can be fucking feral – no good outcomes.
If you live in America get a gun, and if the same group of teens do it again, say only “officer I was afraid for my life and I want a lawyer”
You held a cool head and showed discipline in not responding. What’s there to be ashamed of?
Well, the first step is to be real with yourself. You didn’t swing on em because you were scared. Not because they were minors and you were at work. Those are valid reasons and I don’t think you should’ve gotten physical. But that is the reason you feel small. You felt like you didn’t even have the choice, you were powerless, and that’s a pretty shocking feeling the first time you have it.
You can learn to accept it, or you can join a boxing or bjj gym. Just to reiterate, you shouldn’t have gotten physical. But if you spend a year at a boxing gym, you’ll turn down that confrontation while knowing full well you saved them a trip to the hospital.
The real question is are these “youths” going to be a regular problem for you now?
It sounds like they had a pretty good time with you. What are you going to do it they are there tomorrow?
You better rerate your hands to rated E for everybody.
I find that retaliation doesn’t have to be violent so long as it’s planned out carefully.
As others have said plenty, report it. Get yourself checked out if you’re injured, especially if there’s any kind of head injury. But how do you go about getting over the embarrassment? I’d say go back to living your life. The most adult thing you can do is keep your nose clean so you can be a positive force in the world. And maybe it helps to realize that these kids will end up getting what’s coming to them one day. Maybe not for this, but for something. They’ll be locked up or worse and you’ll still be living your life.
>I just feel weak and ashamed. It’s shaken me more than I expected and I feel heavy in my chest.
Would you have felt a whole lot like a big strong proud man if you’d beat up a bunch of children though?
Find. Follow them. And you know the rest.
More fatigue.
Your first mistake was confronting them
Why did you escalate
I defend myself in the moment and worry about the consequences later(or never)
I don’t think there are any right ways to react to that, only wrong ones; which you avoided. You were on your way to work, so it was probably morning, right? They were probably on their way back home from drinking cider in park all night and morning – with no positive outlook on their day (or lives), so they just take random swings at people who are by themselves because they are jealous? and damn as hell wouldn’t do it against equal numbers (i.e. they’re the weak ones, not you). Just don’t make a bigger deal of it in your head than you need to, it probably wasn’t about you personally for them.
Get over it.
Start planning my revenge….😊
Just think about how many different ways it could’ve gone wrong if you retaliated. You ko one of them and they hit their head or they stomp on yours when you’re knocked out etc. Just know that the outcome is good and you get to carry on with life. Those little shits will run into the wrong person one day and get delt with.
OP, that’s a tough situation.
5 on 1, you don’t stand a good chance fighting. Even someone well trained isn’t going to be able to hold off 5 13 or 14 year olds with hands alone. It isn’t like they’ll wait in line and come at you one at a time.
If you were armed (if that’s even legal for you), now you are inviting the legal hassle that comes with lethal force. Is a ding to your pride worth it?
I don’t think you should be faulting yourself. I’m really not sure how I would respond in that moment. All options are bad. Even walking away, is a hit on your self esteem, as you are finding out.
I’ve been jumped a few times, once by a group which included some who were definitely quite young.
If you’re anything like me, you’ll replay it in your mind a lot. What you could have done. How you wish you had reacted.
First thing – do not beat yourself up.
Second thing – let yourself be angry, hurt, whatever you feel. The odds are they won’t be punished in any meaningful way, and it’s going to suck. But don’t take it out on people you care about.
Third – treat yourself to something you like. Food, a movie, whatever – do something for YOU tonight.
It’s gonna suck for a while, and it will be with you for weeks. It does, however, get better.
> I wasn’t that phased in the heat of the moment
I never find I am. The anger comes maybe an hour later, the anxiety attacks days later. You need to talk to a loved one ASAP and make sure they’re on-call for whatever is about to hit you.
> I more mean’t that I was emasculated and wanted to know what I should do to get rid of that feeling.
Just reject that conceptualisation outright. You’re a human being who was assaulted, disrespected, and made to feel vulnerable and unsafe. It doesn’t hit any different because you’re a man.
You also shouldn’t feel personally ashamed, it’s not your personal responsibility to have righted this wrong; this is a collective societal failure.
Never start a fight you can’t finish
Getting sucker punched (or slapped) isn’t your fault. I know it doesn’t feel great, but as I said in an earlier post about a similar situation, the reality is that you aren’t going to win against multiple assailants. You also aren’t going to stop someone who’s determined to strike or kill you. No one likes to admit that, but you can be the toughest guy on the planet, but a bullet, a knife, or a blunt object to the base of your skull means lights out. You are at the world’s mercy.
It sounds like you kept your cool, but if I were to replay this scenario, I’d say something like “Five on one? Is that really what we’re doing?” Then, if possible, run. If necessary, defend myself to the best of my ability. But as others have pointed out, physical violence is a legal minefield and dealing with minors with parents who see a lawsuit adds another layer.
I’m sorry this happened. I know it feels humiliating. It’s a terrible situation, but there wasn’t much more to do here.
Start training MMA or some other striking and grappling art/arts. You are young, do yourself a favor, you’ll meet some great guys and gain a lot from it. Seriously, one of the biggest benefits Ive gained from training over the years is the complete loss of ego in a threatening situation, I’ve never felt emasculated after a confrontation, even though it looks like I’m backing down (I simply don’t want any part of ‘their’ world). The comfort comes in the confidence (rightly or wrongly) that if push came to shove you could take care of the situation with trained and controlled violence. It will bring you some mental peace.