I feel like my long-time friend treats others better than me and I don’t know how to feel about it anymore

I’ve been friends with this person for about 4–5 years. We’ve had lots of good times and I know he’s not the type to just use people or walk away easily. But lately, I’ve been feeling… left out.

It hurts seeing him be more willing to try out random games or hang out with others, but not with me (unless something is especially interesting). It’s not that I expect him to always choose me, but when it happens often, it starts to feel intentional.

There were times I gave him honest feedback (even when it wasn’t what he wanted to hear) and he later thanked me for it. But he’s also said things that were genuinely harsh or unkind, like calling me “shit” or telling me to shut up during bad moods. He does apologize sometimes, but the way he talks can still sting. I’m not perfect either, I’ve been impulsive, emotional, and said things I regret. But I always try to own up to them.

He used to struggle a lot with honesty when we were younger, and it made me question whether I could fully trust him. I remember times I waited around, thinking we’d play, only for him not to show or to let me know way later that he wasn’t coming. These days he does show up more often, but still after long delays. I understand family time is important, and I respect that. I just wish he’d tell me up front when he’s not really available instead of saying he is and making me wait.

Part of me wonders if I’m just exaggerating or being too sensitive. But I also know I’ve been used by others before, treated like a pet or servant and maybe that makes this kind of thing hit harder.

I still see good in him. He’s been there when others weren’t. But I’m starting to wonder if this friendship is healthy or if I’m just holding on because I’m afraid of losing one of the few people who didn’t treat me like garbage.

Has anyone else been through something like this? How do you tell the difference between normal ups and downs in a friendship… and a pattern that means it’s time to let go?

TL;DR:

Long-time friend is becoming distant, unreliable, and sometimes hurtful despite past good times. I’m questioning if I’m being too sensitive or if this friendship is no longer healthy. How do you tell when it’s time to move on?