I ( F27 ) recently had a falling out with my two closest friends ( M26 and F 27 ). Because of this, I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder and ADHD. I was previously aware I might have this disorder, but was not formally diagnosed and did not know how to control it. Still don’t, but learning. Borderline Personality Disorder is characterized by an intense fear of abandonment, heightened emotional sensitivity, and impulsiveness, among other things.
M26 decided he wanted to go no contact with the potential of reconnecting in the future. I really do love and appreciate this person and do not want to over step these boundaries. The issue is that he is still sharing his location with me. Knowing myself and how my BPD brain works, when I get lonely or miss him, I’m going to want to look at his location. I DONT want to do this. However, I think having access to this will make me check it when I’m highly emotional/ feeling lonely. And please understand that it’s not just a “well don’t check it”, kind of thing. BPD and ADHD are characterized by impulsivity. Something I have not learned to control yet since this is all very new.
How do I get him to unshare his location without contacting him or a 3rd party (which would also be contact)? Or, preferable, is there a way to unshare his location from my side? I don’t want to delete the messages because as I learn more, I’d like to reflect on how I handled the situation.
TLDR: friend went no contact. How do I get him to unshare his location so I’m not doing crazy things?
Comments
Can you just contact him one time to tell him to unshare? It’s not like you are contacting him to reconnect, you are doing it as a courtesy and to help you.
BPD must be managed with a therapist. It’s the only way to find stable ground for yourself.
Can you uninstall the app or remove him from your ‘family’ ?
you can just remove someone’s location on your side. just tap on their name then “remove”.
You can remove location sharing from your end, or stop using whatever app it is
I would assume that no contact also means “not knowing where I am 24/7”, so sending him a message directly or through a 3rd party would be appropriate.
It’s okay to message him to ask him to stop sharing his location with you. That’s not trying to reestablish contact, it’s dealing with the logistics of breaking contact.