Lately, I’ve been waking up in strange positions with my clothes oddly shifted like my nightgown pulled up or blanket removed things that don’t feel like they happen naturally in sleep. Moving on yesterday I found out his album in which there tons of pics and videos of me in nude/partial nude in different angles while I’m sleeping.
Anyways he’s never mentioned anything about taking pictures of me, even though we’re not shy in our intimate life. And that’s what’s bothering me if it was something between us, why wouldn’t he tell me? I have no problem in him taking pics. But I’m worried if he’s sharing them with his friends or colleagues as some kind of joke or brag.
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Respectfully, the behavior that you describe above is abnormal.
It’s not necessarily dangerous, but from what I understand, it’s not the way a well adjusted adult male would behave.
Especially insofar as you have not given him your consent to be photographed while asleep.
If I were you, I personally would have reason to be concerned.
Hey, First of all if he sharing with colleagues with kind of joke or brag. He shouldn’t be doing it. U shld really comfort him. Or just record him or transfer the photos. Comfort him when he is not ready so all the things he would say are correct.
Yeah that’s insane
put a secret camera up catch him in the act
If you are open with him, you can straight forward ask about them. Tell him you saw the pictures… and go from there. My husband and I use each other’s phones all the time so if one of us has a question about anything we just ask…. Nothing like this though!!!
If you feel like he may be unhappy with you “spying” on his phone, maybe try to catch him in the act to start the convo… wear something to bed a little more restrictive, not so easily pulled up/down – hopefully waking you up when he tries.
But I agree, this is not normal behavior. It is concerning that you say you have an open/good intimate sex life with him, yet he’s doing something without consent. While not a “danger” it kind of has an ick factor to it, and can lead to you losing trust in him.
However you choose to go about it- there needs to be an open conversation. If this is a fetish for HIM let him feel safe about talking to you. And let him know that YOU need to feel safe as well.
Good luck!
This is sexual assault.
Put a security camera and get a proof him doing that
Of you confront him he can manipulate you and basically can say no and gaslight you
So get your proof and then do whatever you want while having a back up plan; such as taking this violation of privacy to the court
Is he drugging you? His behaviour is in the same ballpark? That you aren’t waking may be because he’s drugging you.
Look up the recent case in France where a husband let 100’s of men rape his wife (and daughter)
His behaviour is on this spectrum.
He hasn’t asked despite the fact you might be up for it.
The secret is his turn on.
It will get worse.
This reminds me of the Man in France that would drug his wife asleep and invite men on the internet to come rape her. (He filmed it on his phone) Nah this isnt cool at all.
What in the Dominique Pelicot did I just read??? Taking pictures without your consent — unforgivable. Sharing them without your consent — illegal in many jurisdictions.
If you suspect your history has done this, you need to seek evidence and then file a police report. Take this seriously!
Before you confront him you should be very careful to gather as much evidence as you can. You might not want to believe it but it’s possible that there is more going on than just pictures. Make sure you have have proof – transfer the pictures somewhere safe, set up a camera at night. When you’ve got more information, confront him.
It’s possible that this is a harmless fetish and he has the pictures only for personal use – but even then it’s a violation of your privacy and something a trusted partner should not be doing without consent. Either way you’re in for a hard conversation. Make sure to stay open but pay attention to what he says exactly. A lot of times abusers will deny and twist reality. Please make sure this doesn’t happen to you and look for ways to be safe!
Just reading this gives me goosebumps, it’s disgusting. I would definitely check his phone completely, and if he doesn’t want to give it, I’d go to the police and report him. Whether you stay with him is up to you, but it’s creepy.
He’s most likely sending it to other guys asking if they would fuck his wife.