Background:
me and my boyfriend are both 20 and have been together for about 6 months. I think my attachment style is leaning towards preoccupied. We are both young, and i always knew that he didn’t want a serious relationship.
We are commited to each other, but he doesn’t want big commitments. His outlook on life is that he is young and that he doesn’t want something more serious than being together for as long as it makes sense.
And while I truly am on that page as well (or really wnat to be), it kind of hurts me to know he doesn’t see a future with me. Even though I don’t necessarily do that with him either.
Okay my dilemma:
He is moving away after summer, in about two months. We are going to break up when he leaves. None of us wants long distance. And he doesn’t want me to move with him, as he has a tendency to feel trapped in relationships (he doesn’t want to be that kind of committed anyway).
Because of this I feel really hurt and sad when I am with him. Because of his tendency to feel trapped in relationships, it makes him feel a bit safe to know that our relationship will end after summer. I, on the other hand feel unsafe to know that it will end soon. I am not aways sad around him though, but much of the time. And also when he is not around.
I really want to be with him these last two months, and i’m afraid that i’m going to regret it if i break up with him now. I really don’t want to regret it. Being with him hurts though and I don’t know how to not be sad around him.
Relationships always hurts me a lot, so i’m not sure how much is a me-problem and how much of the hurt that is because of this situation (considering my attachment style). I want to work on my attachment style, so I don’t want to break up if it is something I should work through.
I want him, and I want him to want me in a way he maybe doesn’t. I know he likes me, he is really affectionate and caring. He has the mindset that our time together is not wasted just because it will end. And that all things end. And i agree on that. But I feel so conflicted. I want to be able to have these kind of not too serious relationships too, but i dont know how. I really need some advice
T:dlr
Boyfriend is moving away after summer, not sure if we should be together the remaining time or if i should end it now, because i’m sad.