Sounds silly, I know. I (28M) was in a relationship with someone from the age of 16-26 that ended due to her infidelity. Left her and a few months later started dating someone I had been friends with for a while. First time in a literal decade I had felt that giddy crush feeling and it happened to be mutual. Obviously I rushed into things and it didn’t work out but ended on good terms a few months ago.
Well, now I have a crush on someone else again. I’m not looking for advice on how to flirt or try dating her. I guess I just don’t really know if it’s normal to even be having crushes like that as an adult or if I’m a little stunted with dating because I have very little experience being an adult, single and available/looking to date (casually for now this time). I guess I also don’t really know either how to go about having a crush on someone and how to decide if I should shoot my shot or not because what if I just get random crushes every so often?
I feel like a teenager for asking such silly questions that seem like they have obvious answers but I don’t really hear other guys talk about feeling this way. So I’m wondering if it’s something I need to work on in therapy or something if it’s due to my previous long term relationship.
Comments
I love having crushes. Pure fantasy and wonder without any mess until you act on it lol.
People just get random crushes, yeah. I know I do, and I think it’s relatively common among dudes. I can’t tell you if you should pursue it or not, but I don’t think it’s something you need to bring up to therapy. Personally, I just push the feelings aside and ignore it as much as possible, and it tends to fade in time. The one time it didn’t, well, that was a clue that what I had developed were real feelings, so. But then, I hate dealing with crushes and try to suffocate them out as soon as possible, which is probably not the healthiest approach nor the one most likely to lead you to actual human connection. so take what I say with a grain of salt.
I think that if you like someone, you should always shoot your shot. If you have a crush, just ask them on on a simple first date if things don’t buy well you never have to do it again if they do awesome!!
But you never know unless you put yourself out there
And yeah, rejection sucks
But it never goes away so we might as well get used to it 🙂