This was an old situation, but I have never understood why it happened the way it did. I have asked every doctor and therapist I’ve ever seen and never have had a good answer. Decades ago I (28m) met this woman (28f) and hit it off. We dated for three years. She started putting the pressure on me to get married. I was open to discuss it but had some personal issues that were just beginning to come up and I felt I needed to devote energy to them. She ramped up the pressure to marry and as we talked about it I put it in terms of asking her support as I dealt with these old issues. Our relationship was committed and neither of us wandered.
We went ahead with setting a date and doing all the planning involved with a fairly large ceremony. Her reaction was completely positive and excited for the big day. Our sexual relationship had been good, not spectacular, but it deepened the relationship as we approached the date.
The sexual relationship ended the night before the wedding. The act of going through the ceremony flipped some switch in her and she recoiled from my touch. At first I blamed it on wedding anxiety but it never changed after the wedding day. This threw me for a loop and she refused to discuss it with me. Frankly if she was willing to discuss it I thought I might have at least been able to work with her through it. Things only got worse over the next two years. What ease of communication I thought we had was gone. If I raised the subject she would get defensive and shut down the discussion.
If I had my wits about me I would have gone for an annulment, as this was a textbook case for one. I was committed and tried to make the marriage work in spite of the end of the sexual component. However I was sliding into a deep depression and in retrospect it would never improve until the relationship ended. This situation compounded all my own issues.
I certainly contributed my own problems to the relationship and take full responsibility for my own part of it, but the thing that haunts me to this day is why would a person do that? Why push with all your effort to marry the person you profess to love, and then immediately start to undermine the thing you just achieved? The same day!
I have asked several doctors and psychologists and no one ever had an answer. They seem as befuddled as me. Has anyone else had an experience like this?
TL:DR, Wife ends sexual relationship on wedding night