how do I tell a guy i’m not interested in a nice way?

r/

I recently started a new job and met this guy who seemed cool to talk to. He asked for my number, and now he’s been asking things like how I slept and sending me good morning/night texts, I HATE those messages. I’m not sure if he’s just being friendly or if he likes me. I’m not interested in dating him, but I also don’t want to assume his intentions. How can I let him know I’m not interested in that way without making things awkward?? I can’t just say “hey i’m not interested” since he never outright said he likes me in that way.

Comments

  1. Dear_Viewer Avatar

    I dont think you can get out of this without it being awkward. It would be kinder, and i believe better for eveyone to take care of this sooner than later.

  2. Evening-Resident-448 Avatar

    Just start talking about your boyfriend. And things you did with said boyfriend. Hopefully he gets the hint and the messages stop.

  3. lammmeease Avatar

    I think to let him know that you are dating someone and that someone doesn’t allow you to talk to guys
    So you know if he has any intentions and in the same time he will get a step back

  4. SeriousCut6602 Avatar

    Just say you’re sorry but you’re not interested in a relationship or you’re not ready or in the right space. Let him down easy

  5. Emergency_Wolf_5764 Avatar

    To the OP:

    Why would you give your number to a co-worker that you weren’t seriously interested in dating?

    It’s now up to you to cut this off as quickly as possible, and as politely as possible.

    He’ll get the message.

    Good luck, ma’am.

  6. SunTripTA Avatar

    Honestly, you can either tell him directly that you’re not interested.

    Or if that’s uncomfortable just exhibit disinterest. Don’t be responsive. Answer questions at work directly, don’t ask questions of him unrelated to work. Basically you’re not doing any effort to keep a conversation alive.

    He will get the hint and stop trying eventually, and if he doesn’t then maybe more of an HR issue.

  7. Strange-Oil1930 Avatar

    Straightforward just tell him you know what you’re a good man I don’t look at you that way. Let’s just be friends and please respect my choice. Period.

  8. MobbThugZ Avatar

    Just be straight up with him and tell him you don’t really like all these “nice” texts everyday. Just be real with how you feel, and if he takes offense, that’s on him. But I bet he won’t text you anymore

  9. Public_Ad_9578 Avatar

    I had an office job where a guy I barely knew, followed me out to my car. I said, ohhhh, sorry, I have a BF. But since you already gave him your number..(wait a week)…oh, so sorry, I started seeing someone. It was nice chatting.

    Done.

  10. RoadWarriorMaddMaxx Avatar

    Or say you’re into girls

  11. Vegetable-Pay9442 Avatar

    Simply draw boundaries. ‘Hey, I enjoy our work convos, but I’d prefer to keep personal texts to a minimum.’ Clear, courteous, not assuming anything.

  12. mj_lj_nova Avatar

    U-G-L-Y you ain’t got no alibi. You’re ugly! Yea yea, you’re ugly.. or something a little less direct

  13. Low-Hotel-9439 Avatar

    You could call him bro a lot, he should get the hint

  14. 8512764EA Avatar

    Just start telling him about your dates or your made up boyfriend.

  15. Juddy- Avatar

    Tell him he’s a good friend

  16. roundup42 Avatar

    First of all he definitely likes you. These aren’t the kind of texts you send to platonic friends.Be honest, tell him you are not into him

  17. tooniceofguy99 Avatar

    god, I hate those texts too.

    others gave good advice. don’t forget to reply back to the best ones with “helped” to give them credit

  18. The_Ministry1261 Avatar

    Just tell him. Be an adult! Be honest.

  19. Intelligent-Pop-9499 Avatar

    Hey, Just so we’re on the same page I really enjoy chatting as coworkers, but I’m not looking for anything beyond that

  20. sky_islands_solo Avatar

    Literally what you just said: “I don’t want to assume your intentions, but I’ve been hearing from you a lot lately, and I don’t want there to be any confusion. You’re a nice person, but I’m not attracted to you. I don’t mind us chatting so long as you understand that I’m not interested in being anything more than friends.”

    I know that may sound blunt, but if you make it sound like you may be attracted to him then he’s probably going to keep pushing (because you must be interested….you gave him your number, didn’t you?)

    To avoid uncomfortable situations like this in the future, don’t give your number to guys unless you want them to think you’re into them. It shouldn’t be that way, but that’s what getting someone’s number means most of the time.

  21. InevitableAttempt174 Avatar

    I don’t date colleagues.

  22. Historical_Job_8659 Avatar

    Not interested and done. rip the bandaid off and done and that’s it your overthinking he’s a big boy!y be nice just say your not untested
    That’s about as nice as it gets!

  23. Safe_Plane_2594 Avatar

    Just don’t text back unless it’s something about work. Ur not obligated to explain that ur interested or not interested.. why do u owe that to anyone? U didn’t invite that. U gave ur number to be nice and now it’s awkward. And if he asks u why u never respond? Say “I was busy”. Nuff said and he should get the hint. Unless he straight up says “do you want to date” THEN you say “I’m not interested”.

  24. Equivalent_Algae_307 Avatar

    “I’m married to the sea” or “I’m not gay, but I’ll learn”

  25. Historical_Job_8659 Avatar

    Not interested
    KISS( keep it simple stupid not you ) it’s ez and if the feelings are hurt by the simple statement 🤷

  26. StreetSyllabub1969 Avatar

    Ask him for his opinion on what you should wear tonight on your date with Fred, who is this guy you have a major crush on.

  27. Transpero Avatar

    Let him know that you prioritize boundaries and think that it would be important to set one with one with you and let him know that you don’t feel the same energy that he is putting out. And request that he stop contacting you in such a way.

  28. Nianiste Avatar

    I’m not interested.

  29. Fair-Juggernaut-2140 Avatar

    Never assume a guy just wanted to be friends. Ever. They always seem to have a motive. If you are nice to them they think you are interested. If you pay them any attention at all.. then if you reject them they get angry and accuse you of leading them on and they are mean as. Even older males in positions of power. (Actually especially them)
    Go completely cold, don’t laugh at jokes, don’t make eye contact, walk away when they are mid sentence. It’s the only way they understand. Being extremely direct and polite does not work.
    It sux but it’s true.

  30. lydocia Avatar

    ITT: a lot of people who have never had a human conversation before