I NEED ADVICE PLEASE!!! So I’ve been dating my boyfriend for close to two years and sometimes I struggle with the fact that I feel like he chooses his friends over me. We’ve talked about it multiple times and since he’s graduated college it’s been better. I am still in school and he started getting his masters so he’s in school too and during the year it was good. During summer he’s been around his friends more and again I have been feeling like an afterthought, we are long distance in the summertime. It’s not that I mind he’s with his friends, it’s just he will cancel our schedule call time or only give me 5 min of the day because he’s too tired after being out all night with his friends. I want him to enjoy his life but I don’t appreciate feeling like an afterthought. I have expressed this to him and I feel like he gets defensive and just thinks it’s because he’s with his friends. He honestly makes me feel like he is just too busy for me and like I am just the person he can talk to when all else fails. It’s not only just with his friends, he will ignore my texts for hours and then respond with “i was talking to my parents”. Also when we would call it would just feel like he didn’t actually want to be talking and when I confronted him about it he just told me he was tired and didn’t have much to say, but again on nights when he had plans he can stay out drinking till whenever and doesn’t get too tired. I don’t know how else to have this conversation or if it is something I am being dramatic about. I don’t want to break up over this because I love him and when we’re together it’s great and he shows me love in lots of other ways. I just know that I like to feel like a priority and I don’t know how else to articulate that.
TL;DR I’ve been dating my boyfriend for almost two years, and I often feel like he puts his friends before me—especially during the summer when we’re long-distance. He cancels our calls, barely gives me time, and says he’s too tired after being out with friends. When I bring it up, he gets defensive and says it’s not a big deal. I love him and things are great when we’re together, but I don’t feel like a priority. I just want to feel valued and I don’t know how else to express that.