I [28F] have had feelings for my best friend [30M] for over 10 years now. I have never told him that as my gut was telling me we are from different worlds or I am not good enough for him. I’ve learned to live with it and accepted he may never look at me the way I look at him and I didn’t want to break this friendship. I have a close relative, whom I considered a best friend, who was aware of my feelings since the beginning (10 years) and knew that if my male best friend would ever make a move, I would be willing to break my relationship with my current boyfriend. I just have learned from this male friend that my relative has made multiple attempts to seduce him throughout the years, but he was rejecting her. It started with kissing but she wanted to sleep with him and tried to make it happen even when he was in a relationship.
I am absolutely devastated because she knew that I have a huge crush on him for all this time and she knew all the history behind. I feel betrayed because she was the only person I was telling about my feelings. But I don’t know what to, I feel like I cannot trust her anymore. There’s noone I can tell about this situation so looking for advice and support here. I know that I want to tell him that but I don’t know if that’s a good moment or how to approach this situation. He has asked me multiple times not to tell my relative that I know, but it’s so difficult for me to live with this information. What would you do in this situation?
Tl;dr person whom I considered a best friend broke my heart, don’t know what to do
Comments
Multiple things here I would do.
1st, break up with your boyfriend. You’re keeping him as a safety net, he deserves a hell of a lot better than someone willing to drop him the instant another man gives her the attention she’s been waiting on the sidelines for. Gross and frankly I think little of you based on that alone.
2nd, go low contact or no contact with that relative/bff because they’re also a horrible person, maybe you can learn to be better removing people that have equally low values. She’s doing nothing different really than you are on a moral level. If you don’t care about how you’re treating your “current bf” then stay in contact with her, you are two peas in a pod!
3rd, only tell the dude how you feel if you cut loose the “current bf” FIRST. You really think any man worth a damn would take a woman that is actively in a relationship and tells him she wants him and will ditch her actual bf? Nope!! All it would tell him is you could easily do the same to him if you find another man you grow close with over the years.