My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 months now. I saw his dick for the first time only a week into dating (non sexual, he was peeing) but he has never seen me naked. He first asked towards the beginning of our relationship and asks not like every day or anything but every so often he will ask if he can or when he can, but I have always said no. He has literally never seen any part of me naked, not even my butt, however he very frequently is naked around me, infact I dont think theres been a single day in the last like 3 months that I havent seen his dick. He just doesnt mind it at all. Its because of how open he is that I want to allow him to see me naked, but im incredibly uncomfortable with being seen naked. As for sexual stuff, I have done oral on him plenty but the most ive let him do to me is feel my thighs. I know it sounds stupid but im just deeply uncomfortable with being seen naked or anything to do with my privates. To put into perspective how stupid this is, when we are staying together we will typically need to be in the bathroom at the same time before going to sleep. He will just casually pee while I brush my teeth, but when we swap over I kick him out the bathroom so I can pee in private. How am I supposed to overcome this? I want to overcome it but its just so uncomfortable and weird to me.
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If YOU are comfortable with this idea, my first idea would maybe start in your underwear and bra, same as a bikini technically. And then remove them one day. Theres no easy way to feel comfortable about it, you just got to do it one day.
But this is the way i did it, first i showered with my partner in my underwear and bra and let him wash me after a few days i just felt comfortable to let him remove them for me.
You do you. Don’t let anyone coerce you into doing something you are uncomfortable with.
Boyfriend sounds pushy and is neglecting your boundaries I fear once you give in to his pressure the next thing will be “when can we have sex” or “can we increase the sexual stuff”
I think you need to set your boundaries and stick to them and if he doesn’t respect it then you need to leave the relationship.
He seems like a sexual person whereas you don’t seem to be and although it may not cause many issues now it potentially can become a big problem. He will most likely cheat on you.
You can tell him you don’t feel comfortable and that he shouldn’t pressure you, to start. Do you want him to see you naked? If not that’s ok. But if you do, and don’t feel comfortable with him, I’d get curious about why. Your own hang up? Can’t trust him? Think he would judge or talk behind your back? Religious upbringing? I think being more certain in your head is good. But he needs to stop bringing it up.
You are 18, with a lifetime ahead of you. Please take your time with these things. Every 18 year old boy in the world wants to see a naked girl, every single day. Don’t bow to his insistence, and don’t let him make you uncomfortable by being naked around you all the time. You’ll only be disappointed in yourself and disgusted with him. If he cares for you then he will respect your decisions about this stuff. You are too valuable to let yourself be objectified, or guilted into doing things you’re not comfortable with.
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Give yourself time… You will want to be seen eventually. But you aren’t there yet. You should want it too. Allow for the time to come. If you feel pressure from him, talk about it and tell him you need a little less… that you want to grow to that, but you just aren’t there…
This is so bizarre LMAO
Start small. Wear less. Go slowly.
Don’t live the rest of your life like this. Fears only get worse if you don’t address them.
You do not have to show him anything and he needs to respect that
You’ve only been dating for 6 months… You should have no reason to be naked with him if you don’t want to. Most people aren’t comfortable being naked around anyone they’ve only known for that long.
You shouldn’t rush into something so intimate as being completely naked with someone. Save it for the right person, place and time.
It’s ok to keep your boundaries,and there’s nothing wrong about them at all. Because you said you want to get around this, there’s somethings I’d think about: can you see ever being comfortable being naked around him? You said it’s embarrassing, what exactly are you embarrassed about?
I want to assure you there’s nothing to be embarrassed of.
It’s not something you just get over hun. It’s something you grow to want. Keeping the mystery is fine. Your relationship shouldn’t suffer because of this and if it does, he’s not the guy for you. As long as he’s patient and supportive this is ok. Please do not let anyone tell you that you should just get it over with. That won’t necessarily help, and if you do it once you’ll be expected to continue doing so.
Let me ask, do you have trauma related to this discomfort?
I will never ever understand couples who use the bathroom at the same time. What, they cannot take turns? It’s so gross, especially if they do #1 and #2 in front of each other.
In fact, I would prefer sleeping in separate bedrooms, if possible since I wouldn’t need to put up with certain bodily noises or smells that might escape during sleep.
Well if you don’t feel comfortable being naked in front of him, never mind having sexual relations I would question whether you should be dating at all, especially dating this person. I didn’t lose my virginity until 19 or 20 with my GF/friend with benefits but haven’t dated since. Everyone’s dating and sex life is a different path and timeline so you do you. However, its best to end things if you don’t see yourself becoming comfortable with nudity with him anytime soon. Don’t force yourself to abide by his timeline/comfortability, but also don’t expect him to follow your timeline for ever either.
You could try seeing a sex therapist, I feel like your concerns would be perfect for a sex therapist to help you work through/navigate.
Do it when you’re comfortable doing it .
All the girls I dated, all had their own timeline in which they were comfortable doing it. There is no specific time that it happens.
Sounds like he’s patient enough even if his comfort showing you his body is coming earlier than yours.
Don’t do it before you’re ready to do it. Ody of all, don’t feel pressured to do it just because he is asking or showing you his body. His comfort level is different from yours
Only do it when you want to. You should feel the urge to do it when it’s the right time. If you feel so hesitant about it then it’s a sign you’re not ready. Do you feel hesitance when it comes to other intimate or sexual gestures? Do you think you might be asexual?
I don’t want you to think it’s stupid. For whatever reason, that vulnerability just doesn’t feel right and that is completely valid. It needs to be respected. Your bf seems like he respects your boundaries (?) but it does worry me a little that he is so often undressed around you. Unless you’re totally okay with that and it doesn’t feel like pressure, I’m honestly worried that he could use that to pressure you in the future.
If you’re comfortable with him and trust that he won’t use it to get what he wants, ignore this. But it might be good to keep in mind or talk to him about. Relationships need to be equal and respectful at the end of the day. Don’t call your boundaries stupid. They’re yours and they matter!
You are in charge of your own body and who gets to see it. If you have to take your time to get comfortable even with a partner it is completely normal. You would rather go slow and comfortable instead of rushed and feeling forced and uncomfortable.
Personally I don’t know your relationship but some men do like to reveal themselves more in order to show that they would like intimacy and it sounds like he’s doing it a lot, dependant on your length of relationship have you considered that your partner is only in it for the physicality?
Just an assumption again I don’t know your relationship but that’s something to think about. Moral of the story, be true to yourself because you want to stay comfortable no matter what. No one can make decisions about your body except for you.
It seems like You have some phobia and need therapy
Feeling insecure about being naked is something that needs to be addressed.
While you certainly should do so with your bf if only you want to, it sounds like it is more than that. If you had trauma in the past, you need to see a therapist about it, those wounds cut deep. Good luck to you.
You’re still young. If you are uncomfortable with being seen naked, then there’s a lot of underlying reasons for it.
Firstly, it will lead to unwanted pregnancy at such a young age.
Secondly, (usually) you will have a strong emotional bond with the person who takes your virginity. If he happened to leave you (eventually) after taking your virginity, it might cause you to have depression or trust issues
Good to only do it when you’re ready for the consequences, or at the very least, emotionally ready.
Right now it doesn’t sound like you are
Might not be a popular opinion. One should only get naked if they have made sure that the other person is really a potential life partner. Know the other person better and understand whether living with such a person is healthy or not. Getting naked is an easy job and there’s no undoing. Be understanding of the consequences and decide.
Short answer to your question : if you feel uncomfortable then don’t do it and he should be understanding and stop bitching about it.
Do you have hang ups around nudity in general or is it strictly to do with sexuality?
The easy answer is you do you and don’t do anything you’re uncomfortable with.
However I have dated someone who did feel this way despite already having kids with someone else due to how she had been treated sexually in the past. She became comfortable doing things with me that she never had before, and allowed me to see her in ways she’d never been seen before very quickly. That comfort will come from the right partner, and someone constantly asking to see you naked when you’re clearly uncomfortable is the wrong one.
I just want to add that seeing you naked and seeing you peeing are not the same thing and that personally I still like my privacy while on the toilet whereas I don’t feel uncomfortable being naked around my partner.
You are shy. That’s normal early in the relationship especially if it’s your first. Just take it slow and it will be ok.
This poor guy. Jesus Christ.
You need to discuss sex with him this far into the relationship and figure out where both of you stand on it.
If he wants safe sex to be a part of the relationship but you don’t then the two of you aren’t compatible and would need to break up.
If he tries to pressure you or worse then dump him and never look back. But DO NOT stay in this relationship if you both want different things. It’s not fair to either of you to waste each other’s time if you aren’t compatible.