TLDR at the end. Hi everyone! My (28F) boyfriend (28M) and I have been together for over 5 1/2 years, living together (with family) for about 3 of those years, living together just the two of us for 1 1/2, renting. While I would never take anything from other people’s experience to heart and say it needs to be my experience, I’m just curious how long people are usually together before getting engaged. Now I’m in no rush really, I’m just excited to get engaged and honestly if this is the man I’m going to marry I really want my grandmother to be at the wedding, so preferably it happens sooner rather than later. I’ve already lost my grandpa kind of unexpectedly, so I’m a bit terrified my grandma won’t be there either. Other than really wanting her at my wedding, and being excited at the thought of getting engaged, I really have no rush. We’re both still working on finding our real careers, finishing school, and figuring out finances for home ownership hopefully someday within the next 3 years. I’m curious how long it takes people to know their significant other is “the one”, and how long before they get engaged. Whenever people hear how long me and my bf have been together, they always giving me a stunned “whaatt, why aren’t you engaged yet, 5 years is too long to wait”. While I do believe many people tend to get engaged before this amount of time, I also don’t mind taking it slow to be 100% certain!! And of course have as much figured out as we can before we take that big leap.
TL;DR: how long are people usually in a relationship before getting engaged? Alot of people I talk to give me pity and questioning when I say I’ve been with my boyfriend almost 6 years and we’re not engaged yet. I honestly don’t mind waiting, just curious what people typically do!
Comments
You know your question is literally impossible to answer, right? I know of couples that got engaged (and even married) within the first year, and couples (even few celebrity ones come to mind) that didn’t do so after years upon years of being together. I think what you really want to hear is that what is happening in your relationship is normal and ok; so I’m here to tell you that it is, and you shouldn’t listen to anyone projecting their own experience/opinion on you. Fwiw, I’ve been with my partner longer than you have and we aren’t engaged.
Have you told him that you want to marry him and your timing considerations you mentioned here?
By your ages, your relationship’s duration, and having lived together as long as you have, you should know whether or not you want to marry each other. You’re old enough to know yourself and what you want, and two years of dating is usually the make it or break it point.
He either wants to marry you or he’s comfortable with you being Miss Good Enough For Now. There’s not really an in-between option where he doesn’t know. Same goes for you. If you don’t know if you want to marry him, you don’t want to marry him.
I got engaged at like 2.5 years. How long really only matters to you and what you/your partner are comfortable with.
I do think when you started dating matters. I do know some couples who waited like 8-10 years but they literally started dating highschool or college.
As a 28 year old (the age I was when starting my current relationship) I wouldn’t want to wait 8-10 years.