Look, she’s my best friend but I can’t stand her boyfriend. No one can. All he does is make rude, snarky comments and complains about everything everywhere he goes. Nothing is ever good enough. Or nothing is ever as good as his stuff.
I decided to have a small cookout at my house. He has made comments about its location and quality many times before. Nonetheless, we’re planning to have good food, drinks, and a whole lot of other stuff to spend some time with our friends and relax a little, and they’re both invited. My bestie is worried about her boyfriend’s cat allergies. I have two cats. Both hide when people are over. She asked me to lock them in the room for the day to not upset his allergies. He has been to my house twice now and has never complained about my cats.
I simply told her no. After she persisted, I reminded her he’s been around them, and their fur, which lingers around at all times in the past. I asked what he did then to manage it. She said take Benadryl. I recommend he take it again before/after his visit. She persisted. So I said I’m not locking my cats in a room for the day. And so far that’s been that.
AITA? I’m not sure if my dislike of her boyfriend is clouding my judgement. But I also think of how panicked and uncomfortable my cats will be, and it seems unreasonable to request that from me. Also, their discomfort really doesn’t seem worth his company. I don’t know… AITA??
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Look, she’s my best friend but I can’t stand her boyfriend. No one can. All he does is make rude, snarky comments and complains about everything everywhere he goes. Nothing is ever good enough. Or nothing is ever as good as his stuff.
I decided to have a small cookout at my house. He has made comments about its location and quality many times before. Nonetheless, we’re planning to have good food, drinks, and a whole lot of other stuff to spend some time with our friends and relax a little, and they’re both invited. My bestie is worried about her boyfriend’s cat allergies. I have two cats. Both hide when people are over. She asked me to lock them in the room for the day to not upset his allergies. He has been to my house twice now and has never complained about my cats.
I simply told her no. After she persisted, I reminded her he’s been around them, and their fur, which lingers around at all times in the past. I asked what he did then to manage it. She said take Benadryl. I recommend he take it again before/after his visit. She persisted. So I said I’m not locking my cats in a room for the day. And so far that’s been that.
AITA? I’m not sure if my dislike of her boyfriend is clouding my judgement. But I also think of how panicked and uncomfortable my cats will be, and it seems unreasonable to request that from me. Also, their discomfort really doesn’t seem worth his company. I don’t know… AITA??
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I told my best friend I would not lock my cats in a room so her boyfriend could attend a party I was hosting. This could make me an asshole because he has allergies to cats and my ill feels of him might be making me less willing to accommodate him.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
My cats hid when people come over too but regardless, I would NEVER lock them into a room that’s their home and I would never force them to stay in one room unless they wanted too
NTA being allergic to cats myself I either “take a pill” or “take the risk” or if I don’t really like the person anyways use my allergy as an excuse to bail out…. but never would I expect them to lock up their cats.
as a dog owner whose mom is allergic to dogs, as we are countries apart when we visit said country we go to other accomodation bc we cannot expect to house us and the dog as her being in dogs vicinity for a few hours is ok, but dog hairs would remain invested in her carpets for ever.
Nuh-uh. I have allergies, my friends and my sister have cats. I take my meds when I visit. That’s it. Unless his allergies where life threatening, but it doesn’t seem to be the case. NTA.
>I’m not sure if my dislike of her boyfriend is clouding my judgement.
You say that like it’s a bad thing. It’s not. It reasonable to be prepared to do something for someone you love that you are not willing to do for someone you’d be just as happy (happier?) if they didn’t come.
NTA
NTA. I wouldn’t lock my cats up for someone I like, let alone someone I can’t stand. Tell him to take a Claritin. He’ll survive
NTA. My ex was so allergic that it was one level below anaphylactic. They took allergy meds when they came to a cat owner’s house.
>She asked me to lock them in the room for the day to not upset his allergies.
“Oh, I didn’t know his allergies were that bad, but I won’t be able to lock up my cats, sorry. I totally understand if he won’t be able to come.”
NTA
NTA the fur will linger unless you were hypothetically deep cleaning the house anyway so locking them up wouldn’t even help
NTA. You’re having a cookout, tell him to stay outside
NTA – the house is literally where your cats live 24/7; it’s their house, too!
The real issue is not the cats, but why you’re letting the rude guy come to your party. Tell your friend “He’s been rude every single time he comes over, so he’s no longer allowed over. I hope you can still come, but I understand if you can’t.” Getting told her boyfriend is so awful he’s getting banned might be the wakeup call your friend needs.
NTA. Unless I’ve misunderstood, a BBQ / cookout is typically outside, so why do your cats need to be locked away inside when he won’t be inside your house most of the time?
Not to mention, he’s been fine with the other two visits.
As someone with cat allergies, it doesn’t matter if they’re there in person or not. I can usually tell within a few minutes of walking into a house whether there’s a cat present or not.
NTA. Your cats have a right to be comfortable in their home. Your friend and her boyfriend have the right to not visit if they are bothered.
NTA Just make sure your cats are safe with peeps going in n out.
NTA he can just not come!
NTA. My ex is allergic to cats and he popped allergy pills with each visit. It’s not hard. Locking cats up in a room like that is terrible. It’s their home. They’ll go hide and find somewhere comfortable to be. He can be a big boy and take care of his own problems or not show up.
Uhhh.. you’re being extremely nice. If anyone came to my home and made rude/disrespectful comments about it they wouldn’t be coming back period.
Also, my pets live in our home and I’m not locking them up for anyone. If his allergies are that bad then locking them up wouldn’t do anything anyway because their fur and dander would still be everywhere.
NTA.