TL;DR How to properly talk about a messy, non-linear relationship history — honestly, respectfully, and without triggering judgment or confusion?
Hello
This is my first message here. I’m 32. Male.
Officially, I’ve only had two girlfriends since I’m 20 years old — but since I was 19 or 20, I’ve had several experiences with women, both sexual and/or sentimental. Most were short-lived, unofficial, and ended either on my side or theirs.
I wasn’t too concerned at first. But as the number of short experiences grew over the years, I started asking myself:
How do I integrate these experiences — however brief — into my personal narrative when I talk to others ?
The truth is, I’ve struggled to move away from “I’m not experienced” even though it’s no longer true. I probably had a hard time seeing these experiences as valid (or even just nice) because they weren’t relationships in the classic sense. The only real update has been going from “one girlfriend” to “two”.
But in reality, I don’t quite know how to carry my story.
I’ve tried different ways to handle the topic:
- Saying “I don’t have much experience” (even as far as “I have no experience at all”) has backfired. Once, some coworkers were surprised by how at ease I was with women during an afterwork — after I’d told them weeks before that I basically had no experience. I was not considered anymore reliable anymore by several colleagues.
- Saying “I’ve had some experiences” didn’t work either. People often expect a simple, linear story — and mine isn’t.
- Saying “I’ve had two girlfriends” feels increasingly off. Some people often sense I’m more confident than that suggests, and some even grow suspicious as I get older.
So here’s my question:
How do you talk about a messy, non-linear relationship history — honestly, respectfully, and without triggering judgment or confusion?
Thanks in advance.