My boyfriend( 27M) and I (32F) have been in a relationship for a little over a year now. Nine months ago he admitted to cheating on me during an argument. I thought he said it to hurt me at first but it was true. He actually slept with someone else. I forgave it but it still haunts me. Tonight I went through his photos and found another explicit video of him with another girl. I didn’t know he had cheated twice with another person. The video was from back in August 2024. I haven’t confronted him about it and honestly I’m just heartbroken and sick. We moved to a different state and live together now. Do I try and forgive it? I love him but the betrayal has broken me. Especially since he always accused me of cheating( I haven’t). Even if you loved someone what would you do?
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As hard as this is, he will do it again, you have to move on. Cut contact, it is the best thing for you in the long run.
The first time could be a mistake. Twice is a pattern. You already gave him a second chance, and he hid even more. Time to walk away, you will thank yourself later.
He has cheated on you, hidden it, and then used it as a way to hurt you. Then he’s done it again.
Why would you forgive him? Do you want him to keep doing this to you? Because he will.
Him accusing you is because he was doing it.
That is a side effect of cheating is to try and blame the SO for their guilt. A cheater will always cheat again. I understand if y’all broke up and had a fling but to be in a relationship and do it and to do it over something as small as an argument…it’s gonna happen for the rest of your relationship if you stay. If my wife chester on me during our 13 years since I met her I would leave from the first confession. I do not tolerate cheating if you wanna sleep with someone else just leave. That’s another story also leaving and then sleeping with someone else is clearly cheating also especially if it’s shortly after.
You have a very low self esteem if you continue to live with him.
Work on that.
Leave him.
Preferably in a different order.