I’m curious to know what you value most in your partner’s attitude: confidence, sense of humor, independence, empathy, or something else? Is there any attitude you simply can’t stand? I’d love to hear your opinions and experiences..
What kind of attitude do you find most attractive in a partner, and why?
r/AskMen
Comments
The only attitude i cant stand in a woman is entitlement, especially entitlement that demands men serve them financially. I don’t care whatever mental gymnastics to justify it. I’m tired of the cherry picking of progressive and traditional values that exploit the person you’re supposed to like. Ive never liked someone and not wanted to “provide” for them. Could be cultural programming or could be my loving nature. Whatever the case, I get the ick when it becomes expected of me. Generosity is freely given so when it becomes an expectation, it’s just exploitation.
If she shows legitimate interest in me is the thing which gets my blood flowing.
A sense of fun and playfulness. Life is not that long, nor that serious. Someone who will go with me to do stuff thats just enjoyable for its own sake.
It’s perhaps easier to illustrate via the opposite attitude, which is treating anything with no purpose other than fun as frivolous or pointless. For example: “I’m not interested in jokes” (when she refused to participate in a hypothetical ‘what would your superpower be’ discussion in a pub, and I joked “ah, keeping your superpowers secret – very wise” as a way to move on without being awkward); or “isn’t that just childish” about my career in video games; or “that’s a waste of time” about such plans as seeing a film, going to a theme park, or even going to the theatre.
Caring, support, empathy
> what you value most in your partner’s attitude?
I want to enjoy the full range of experience of her.
> Is there any attitude you simply can’t stand?
If you google the 4 horsemen of relationship breakdown and click on the link to the gottman institute then you’ll have found the 4 behaviors that become killers.
> I’d love to hear your opinions and experiences.
Relationship maintenance is a big thing that really doesn’t get enough talk. You have to check in on the other person. You do have a responsibility to do routine check ups with the relationship just like maintaining a car or home. Things will degrade and need replacing. There are unexpected leaks and tears that need to be addressed. You must put in effort to repair what’s wrong.
As for something I personally like to see more of, I really enjoy hearing uncomfortable truths, especially from ladies who recognize the value of “not fanning the flames”. That level of understanding that you do not want to be critical of someone unnecessarily, but you do have the strength in yourself and the relationship to be able to address things that are starting to spiral out of tolerable control.
Class.
Wear clothing that suits you. Speak positively about others. Don’t project your personality beyond your natural boundaries.
Someone soft spoken but stern, like don’t be all verbally abusive with me but be stern and I’ll listen. Gentleness and understanding when dealing with emotions.
Loyalty and self-confidence.
I really hate narcissistic behaviours and traits.
As for what I find most attractive, well, Drive, compassion, empathy and sense of humour are the top. Someone who wants to do better or works towards getting promotions and moving up in life. Someone with a sense of humour because well I do love comedy and think that life is just better with a laugh. Compassion and Empathy, mostly because Men in general want to be shown love and care, the unconditional kind, that many tend to give but never receive themselves.
Personally, I love the ones who are perfectly independent and empowered, they don’t need a man…. but they want one
Arrogance, entitlement, controlling
Compassionate and care. My current gf and I met online. I went to meet her and spent a few days with her. She’s someone that has to wake up and go immediately to the bathroom. She would go and I stayed in bed, when she gets out she lets me know and I go. In the 7 minutes it takes me to use the bathroom (I counted), she gets dressed and prepares coffee and breakfast. Then she waits for me at the table with a smile, shining like the sun. That’s our routine, she handles breakfast and shines like the sun, I’m so thankful, and I let her know always.
I also do quite some things for her 🙂
Compassionately driven.