My gf (20) wants me (19) to sell her unwanted clothes by buying it off her, and then selling it myself, whether its profitable or not (i dont know clothes so i dont know). She needs money ASAP because she bought a bunch of stuff with klarna and now needs to pay it back, and wants me to help. She gets a sizeable allowance every week (about $100) to spend whatever she wants, and she blows it all on makeup and clothing. I get zero allowance (as expected), pay rent to my parents, essentially living paycheck to paycheck whilst also having some debt on my cc’s due to having to get emergency pet healthcare. I told her that like how she says its not my right to tell her how to spend her money, its also not my right to help her when she spends that money irresponsibly. Shes now angry at me for it. AITAH?
Edit : ive been on reddit for the past 20 minutes and ive seen enough comments to know that this is a red flag. My gf is still mad at me, and this is quite common behaviour from her. She is perfectly aware how unreasonable she is being, but she told me that ‘atleast im aware about it’. She doesnt do anything about it though. I put up with it because i am a huge pushover because everytime i say something negative or criticise her, im ‘lecturing’ her and that im so rude, and im not a gentleman at all. My gf wants me to speak very softly to her, which im always trying to improve on being more soft spoken, more gentlemanly etc. but shes very crass and in her words ‘bitchy’ from her side. Ive tried letting her know that but i also got the deal with it back and that if i loved her i wouldnt judge. Also sorry i forgot to include this, but her parents WONT let her work a part time job whilst at university because they believe they can provide everything, and her parents will not budge on this. This is one thing which absolutely isnt her fault, and im sorry for mentioning it now because it seems like i purposely left it out to make her sound even more lazy, when she also does have controlling parents. I think its her parents spoiling her that did make her kind of untolerable sometimes
Comments
NTA – you are not your friend’s bank — or – erm – used clothing broker…
NTA. Her clothes, her money, her responsibility. Have her try ThredUp. She is the AH for buying stuff she can’t afford.
Hahahahahaha what a joke! Why is this person your gf? NTA, and stand your ground.
NTA
Don’t enable her poor spending habits by bailing her out! She needs to experience interest charges on stupid purchases and all the negative emanations that come with it so she could hopefully spend better in the future. She can start a Poshmark account and start selling them. It takes very little effort.
NTA don’t let her take advantage of you. It’s her mess to clean up.
NTA It’s her problem. Unfortunately, there are a lot of people in life who cannot take responsibility for their actions, then blame others for their own situation.
You’re absolutely right. Hopefully she may learn from this situation, although it’s unlikely.
Lmao what a scam. Don’t be an enabler. She’ll never learn and will continue to expect you to bankroll her awful finances.
NTA.
You’re not the asshole. Her clothes, her problem.
NTA. Really, I’ve tried selling my husband’s old band t-shirts too.
WTF Dude! Her request is so unreasonable that you should consider it a big red flag. Run. Now!
She gets $100 a week just to spend and still ends up in debt? That’s not a you problem, that’s a her problem
Lmao how did she get to 20 like this.
In the words of Sabrina carpenter: why so sexy if so dumb and how survive the earth so long
NTA and don’t let anyone else tell u otherwise.
Edit – 100 dollars on “makeup” and shit wtf. And 20 years old?? What world and what reality does it live in yikes.
NTA. At all. This girl is willing to strain your relationship for cold hard cash, which tells me she values money more than you. That’s a terrible dynamic and I hope (for your sake) that you value yourself enough to break off the friendship and never speak to her again.
Don’t enable, ask her to see a psychiatrist and a psychologe because she’s addicted to shopping
NTA. You’re not wrong for setting limits, especially when you’re dealing with your own money issues and she’s the one spending carelessly. It could be helpful to encourage her to handle her own debts and budgeting before asking for your help.
Dump her yesterday
$100 is a sizable allowance? lol
She needs to get a job and pay her own bills.
This is even worse than her asking you for money to cover her. She wants you to sell her clothes? GTFO
Stand your ground. STAND YOUR GROUND.
This is some manipulative bs, and a major red flag imo.
And you are so young, just move on.
NTA. I might ask my kids’ dad to help me sell my clothes through poshmark or OfferUp because I don’t want people to come pick things up from my house with our littles, but I don’t expect him to pay for them first. What if they don’t sell?
I asked him to list my old bike I bought during covid on FB market and offer up & I told him he could keep half if he does the meetups and stuff.
Why doesn’t she have a job ? Her parents are ruining her by giving a 20 y.o. “allowance”. She is a spoiled little 20 y.o. toddler and expects to be treated like mommy and daddy treat her. Run dude, run…NTA
She’s acting like an entitled person honestly
It’s not your responsibility to help her adult or help her with financial struggles
Your gf is an irresponsible spendthrift OP. She wants you to go into debt in order to finance her spending habits – think about that OP.
Dump this parasite ASAP
Your gf is trying to use you and is not a very good partner. Please decline this horrible idea and let her deal with the consequences of her choices.
Break up with her
You need a new GF. She’s pretty entitled to think her overspending and inability to manage her finances is your problem
Runnnnnnnnnnnn
If you do it, hype it up and say how much money you made… see if she wants a “higher” cut… that’ll show her integrity.
I can understand wanting to just let someone else take care of it, if they’ll accept the challenge. But another thing to try to make money off a friend
Is this rage bait? This reads like rage bait.
Because this…is…asinine.
She wants you to buy them and then resell them? That is a very odd set up let her go on whatever app it is that you can do that and get a new gf, this one is going to get worse. Who the hell gets $100 a week allowance? At 20? Seriously she is spoiled and you need to be prepared for when you cant support her habits. So have fun, enjoy her while it lasts, but DO NOT get attached because she aint sticking around.
NTA Are there other ways you could help her? She is part of your life. It’s hard to be creative, you don’t need to buy her clothes from her or give her money. However, I wonder if there is another way you can help.
Get out
This is so dumb I struggle to believe it’s real.
Are you seriously coming to Reddit to ask if you need to give someone money, because even though they get money for free and they blew it on things they didn’t need, you somehow feel responsible to enable that kind of idiocy??
Really???
*IF* (huge IF) this is real, she’s 20, now’s a good time for her to start learning how the world works. Her mess, her problem. Your problems are yours, her self-made ones, are not.
Oh, and for formatting purposes, NTA (but come on dude, seriously?! You really needed to be told how to handle this??)
Perhaps she could find gainful employment.
lol break up
Absolutely not❣️
Nope nta for exactly the completely justifiable reason that you gave. Stand your ground, consider dumping her and good luck op. UpdateMe!
NTAH. Not your responsibility to sell her clothes. If she needs money, she’ll do it herself. There’s an old saying “Poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part”. Let her face the consequences of her actions. She apparently a spoiled child ($100 weekly allowance) and feels like it’s everyone’s obligation to provide what she feels that she needs.
No, I think she’s the asshole for even asking you to bail her out from her own bad decisions.
You need to nope out of this relationship before she brings you down with her
Take the clothes (by yourself) to a resale shop and ask how much they’d give you outright, not for consignment. Pay your GF half of that. Everybody wins!
Red flags are waving in the wind.
It’s time to move on.
You’re 19. Go have fun. Hang out with friends. Meet new people. Travel if you can. Don’t tie yourself down.
Pushover? She’s training you to be a simp. Looks like she’s winning because you seem to have lost your backbone.
Honey, your gf is immature and doesn’t know what responsibility is. I bet you’re also the one paying for dates and whatnot. You’re so young and there are millions of girls in the world. Don’t settle for someone who uses you and, honestly, abuses you. YTA only if you continue accepting her behaviour.
NTA. The sex must be great to put up with this kind of crap.
NTA. No. They’re her problem, not yours. You don’t have a single reason to purchase her clothes, other than to make her life easier. This is her mess, support her, but not by doing this dumb shit. She’ll also probably screw you on the value.
Just take her to a resale shop and see what they’ll give her. That’s what a good bf would do.
She needs to learn to budget. Assuming her mom and dad are paying for schooling, housing, and presumably food, all her actual needs are taken care of. So she needs to learn to prioritize where she spends her fun money.
That’s a weird thing to even request. Why wouldn’t you be upset about it? Or at least confused
You dating a bum. Drop her
Dude. Contrary to what you might believe Celibacy ISNT FATAL. DUMP FOR. MOVE ON.
Your girlfriend is a spoiled brat. Dump her
It sounds like you don’t have money either. How does she expect you to buy her clothes? Is there a consignment store in your area? She can get paid for her clothes quicker if she does business locally. Anyways, NTA you have financial needs too. If you start thinking about a permanent relationship with her, I’d give a lot of thought to her approach to finances, and her expectations of you vs your expectations of her. If she doesn’t wisen up about money, this may be someone you don’t want to tie yourself down to. I’m sorry if that sounds unromantic and cynical, but financial disagreements and fiscal irresponsibility can trash a relationship, and parting from someone you once loved with feelings of loathing sucks.
NTA. Totally her responsibility. Also, unless she has vintage Halston or Prada bags to sell, used clothing is pretty much worthless.
nta her irresponsible spending isn’t your problem.
And her parents can’t actually stop her from working, unless they literally follow her around all day.
The proper response is to laugh in her face.
Don’t do it. She’ll expect more in the future. You just can’t see that she’s training you to do her will, not your own. Cut her off. Let her parents pay.
Hell no
She trying to get you in a pyramid scheme. You gonna be stuck with a garage full of women’s wear and out all the money.
NTA – you sound like a genuine, lovely human and she sounds like a spoiled brat. So unless you want to hear her whine and complain that she doesn’t have enough, sit her down and talk to her. Communication is everything. If she cannot have a calm, rational conversation with you about this issue, then she is not emotionally mature enough for a relationship. She relies on you to make her happy AND fix her problems. In a relationship, if one of you has a problem, you work on it together.
If she refuses to see she has a problem, then you need to get out of the relationship. And remember, it’s okay to leave. It’s okay to set boundaries. Good luck my friend.
NTA. Tell her that her financial problems are not yours to solve.
Responsible buys used / unsold clothes, revamps them, then resells them. Have her check them out (USA/uk)
No no no no no. You are not.
Also, if she wants to get a job she can. Maybe ask her that… see what her answer is and go from there. It will show a lot about how motivated and determined she is. But don’t buy her clothes from her. Send her a link to vinted. Offer to help her take some photos, but don’t get involved in the money side. She needs to learn to rely on herself it sounds like her parents aren’t going to be helping with that so you’ll be doing her a favour. Support, but don’t do it for her. All the best man 🤞
Don’t do it. Your GF is responsible for her spending. She gets $100 per week and can pay her own bills. Why should you give her what little money you have. She sounds spoiled and entitled. Get away from her. It’s fishy.