My boyfriend and I have been together for over 2 years, sex has never really been a problem (to me at least) until recently. We both work full time jobs, he still lives with parents and I rent an apartment while attending college online. He has no bills to pay, no college to worry about, his mom does his laundry and grocery shops so he has no added stress on him. He is constantly getting home around 12:30-1:00am, and is a night owl. I can’t stay up that late. He’s usually out at the casino with buddies or working out at the gym. His issue is that we aren’t having sex enough, which is about two times a week with some oral stuff here and there. His sex drive is naturally high, mine is not so high. I’ve told him before that I have to feel emotionally connected to have sex and get turned on. I have to beg him to cuddle me at night, I have to ask him to actually kiss me where he just gives me little pecks, i’m always calling him handsome and telling him to have a good day every day, and I don’t receive that very much. When he comes over he’s always in a rush to leave, and we barely get any time to actually hangout. He just told me today that I do not sexually please him and now I feel insecure and destroyed. I’ve been trying so hard to come up with new stuff, role play, him come home to me in a dress etc. Last month was so good and now he says this?? I’m just heartbroken. He says he’s gotten no gifts from me, which I had just bought him new shirts for his new job. I don’t have money to eat out all the time like he does, so he hold it over my head in a way. He will take me out to eat, and I will tell him that I don’t have money to do that and he says he will pay. He says he does all this stuff for me and is getting nothing in return. I told him that all he has to do is get his d!ck hard and that’s all. It takes more for a woman to get worked up. I send him pics of my b00bs last night since i’m on my period and got no response. He doesn’t see how his comment makes me feel insecure and like i’m not good enough, he says he’s been trying to tell me this all month (without actually telling me) but I never got that message? I’m just at a loss and don’t know what to do. ://
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you are incompatible because he doesn’t like you
Your heartbroken because your boyfriend’s kind of sleazy going to casinos every night(?). But mainly because you’re asking for the bare minimum of having an emotional connection, with your partner of all people. Instead, you’re with someone who just views you as someone who gives him access to sex.
In these situation, there’s often huge amounts of low self-esteem . But you need to realize that you’re not in a relationship with him. You all don’t even hang out except when he wants to have sex it reads. Stop wasting your time on someone who is an asshole and find someone who actually wants to be in a relationship
If you routinely feel insecure and that you’re not good enough, that’s a sign that he’s 1) not the one, and 2) possibly toxic. Your partner should make you feel loved and special, not like a failure.
What would be hard about saying: We aren’t on the same wavelength in a number of ways, and instead of forcing this relationship, we should both be looking for someone more compatible.
I know how you can solve this problem:
Dump him
Dump him today.
All you are to him is a walking talking fleshlight. Send him off with a box of Kleenex and free yourself up for something better.
Sounds like he could be addicted to porn.
Leave the realation. He has no regards / respect to you and your feelings/situation, just his. Clearly a person that need to grow emotionally and as an adult ! he still a mamas boy so he will not take accountability for anything .
Girl- please get out of this relationship. I think your post is just your way of saying you’re done with him. You definitely deserve better. He seems like such a horn dog that has no other feelings. Especially the fact he still has his mom doing groceries and laundry for him?? Umm at his big age? PLEASE get out of this relationship and fast. It is definitely not your fault. Some men are too horny and dont understand women just aren’t like them. Go and find yourself a real man. I wish you the best ❤️
He’s a child, who lives with his parents. He has no responsibilities, no bills… he doesn’t understand what is like to have to live and work your way through life! YOU DESERVE Better!!
Find someone who admires that at your age you are self sufficient, hard working and a responsible adult! You will find someone who looks at what an amazing person you are and respects you!
You are Enough, he’s not for you! Walk away and you will find someone who is as responsible and wants the same things as you!!
Take care 🥰
Time to move on from this guy. There are better partners out there who will make you feel valued and appreciated.
sweetie this guy doesn’t like you as a person, you’ll find better, cut your losses truly. imagine what it’d take for you to act this way to your partner
So you’re trying hard while he doesn’t even give you the bare minimum. You even asked for it!
And he has the audacity to say you don’t please him sexually?! You told him what he has to do, so you get into the mood. What else should you do? You accept more than you should and he’s still complaining.
Maybe it help to compare how your friends treat you and how he treats you. If even your friends can treat you better than your “significant other” then it’s not a SO.
The problem here is not your BF but YOU. You need to find someone who cares about you! Care about yourself enough to move on!
You deserve a real man, he is a child, emotionally immature and self centered.
You are worth soooo much more than that. Please break up with him and block ALL contact with him. You will be so much happier when you have the time take care of you instead of constantly babying a man child.
Just leave him. It will be for the better
You’re being used for sex. He’s a loser and an asshole.
Sounds like both of you are in two different stages in life. I would separate Even use my line that you both are just in different places in your lives.
Dump him girl. Do it ASAP.
He’s expecting you to put a lot of effort into the relationship but what does he add? It doesn’t sound like he’s doing anything but taking from you. A lot of men drain women down to nothing if they’re able. Don’t let him do that to you.
This….is not a relationship! It is a one sided FWB
Didn’t respond to the boob pic, break up. That’s just fucking rude.
Your boyfriend is lazy and selfish. Don’t ever stay with someone who is selfish. You will never be his priority.
He’s not pleasing you either. You literally have to beg him to kiss you.
Break up with him
Tacky of him, if he articulated that way. Was he looking for something, in particular? Don’t let it bother you. Find a better fit.
Can you read this all back to yourself, please? In what universe is he worth your time? He adds nothing, he doesn’t seem to like you, and he’s an adult living the life of a child with no intention of changing. Run. Literally Looney Tune run out of there and leave a you shaped hole in the wall.
Leave him now -put everything down and run away from this situation NOW! Put your needs first. Leave don’t think – just leave.
Toss this piece of trash to the curb. You aren’t the problem here.
This is a him problem. You are wasting too much energy on his needs and he is doing nothing for you.
Do you want to live this way for years? You are young. Dump him and find someone you are compatible with.
I have to agree.
Here is the problem as I see it: you are needy and lack self-esteem.
You need to recognize that he’s the one who’s not doing the job for you sexually.
I mean, do you feel fulfilled? I bet you don’t.
Add on to that that he’s gambling away all his money and negging you, and what does he bring to the table, really?
Please get some therapy, so you can gain a healthy sense of self-worth and self-respect. So you can stop allowing twats like your boyfriend to treat you like shit.
I think you should leave him alone. Read what you said out loud and ask yourself do you want to be treated like that.
Real question: why do you stay with him?
You are young so you don’t have a lot of perspective on relationship. I get how it can be hurtful and it is but sadly he is not at the same place as you and lack maturity and emotional intelligence. Sadly, a lot of guy in that age are like and they growth out of it with real life experience.
The issue is sex in a relationship is link to connection and intimacy. So how you feel is 100% normal.
The biggest issue is not you it’s how little he care about understanding your side and trying to find solution with you.
He only think about his pleasure being fulfill but what about yours.
You have a boyfriend but sadly you don’t have a partner.
He have technically more free time then you
, he could help you have less mental charge, but it look like he does only what he want.
All that to say…
It feel hard but prioritize yourself and break up with him.
You are with a man child. Mommy does everything for him and all he does is play games. Meanwhile, you’re out there doing what an adult does and making a life of yourself. You deserve better.
He must be comparing you to someone else. Leave him, and get tested. Sincerely, experienced woman.
What you describe sounds like he takes you out only to hold it over your head later. He makes you indebted to him to guilt you into staying. I hope you can see your own self worth and dump him.
Is he any good in bed, do you have orgasms every time? Because I’m sure he does. Does he ever please you and expect nothing in return? I guarantee he’s bugging you for oral and not reciprocating. He’s watching too much porn, at 19/20 you should not need to role-play and do sexual gymnastics to turn a guy on, most guys I knew at that age could get it up if you winked at them. Dump this selfish loser, he’s just using you for sex. And for gods sake, stop sending nudes! To this guy or anyone, there are far too many ways those can come back to haunt you. I would take bets he’s the type to share them with his buddies.
Tell he he doesn’t emotionally or physically please you either, so bye boy . Girl you don’t deserve this . He doesn’t care about you, only what you do for him, and he has zero interest in doing anything for you. Don’t stick around for someone like this
What do you even get out of this relationship? It sounds like your bf just views you as a sex doll and nothing more. I would dump this loser. This is not a you issue.
Firstly, you’re 19. How good could you be in bed? It takes experience and multiple partners to learn how to be good.
Secondly, he treats you like a sex toy, only there for his pleasure.
You need to break up with him. He’s not worthy of you.
Anyone who lives with there parents doesnt deserve sexual gratification.
He is treating you like a commodity. He is upset because the trade is not going his way. If he isnt taking out with his friends its because he doesnt like you. He doesnt want the social connection to you.
Baby, please see your value and do yourself a solid and leave him. You’re nothing but a sex doll to him. You are so much more than what he’s convincing you you’re worth.
Dump him. Love yourself. Get an education. Don’t allow any man to treat you less than your worth. You’re more than the sum of your parts.