For context I don’t have a car currently at 17 so I was biking to work until the bikes inner tube popped and since I didn’t have any spares laying around I just set the bike back in my garage and just walked to work. My work is 0.9 miles away and we live in a nice area with very little crime so I didn’t see anything wrong with this.
Around 8:00 clock that night though while everything started to calm down at my work my mom started spam texting me about it saying she can’t trust me anymore and I’m not being honest. Along with threatening me saying she can’t trust me with a car or working anymore. Just because I didn’t tell her I was walking to work instead of biking.
She’s still asleep as I’m posting am I the asshole for this? any advice would be helpful thank you.
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For context I don’t have a car currently at 17 so I was biking to work until the bikes inner tube popped and since I didn’t have any spares laying around I just set the bike back in my garage and just walked to work. My work is 0.9 miles away and we live in a nice area with very little crime so I didn’t see anything wrong with this.
Around 8:00 clock that night though while everything started to calm down at my work my mom started spam texting me about it saying she can’t trust me anymore and I’m not being honest. Along with threatening me saying she can’t trust me with a car or working anymore. Just because I didn’t tell her I was walking to work instead of biking.
She’s still asleep as I’m posting am I the asshole for this? any advice would be helpful thank you.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I didn’t tell my parents I walking to work instead of biking to work
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA – but I think it’s a good idea to let your mother know about your mode of transportation just in case anything goes wrong. She was probably just worried about your safety.
NTA unless u lied about using the bike. Maybe I am weird about this (my mum is also similar and freaks out about the weirdest smallest things)
NTA but you should have told her so she could have helped you
Judgement: NTA are you kidding me, you’re 17, you’re very close to being legally an adult – you deciding to go for a walk…for work…which is 0.9 miles away shouldn’t have caused any outrage at all. The fact that she said she doesn’t trust you working now…is absolutely beyond any feasible belief unhinged, and comical if it wasn’t bordering on removal of freedoms and stagnating your independence and growth.
Advice: I highly recommend you start putting some boundaries, even slowly but steadily, because it seems like your mother thinks that you’re entering teenager years rather than adulthood, this is not okay – quite frankly, it’s infantilising you and is not healthy.
For humour in this crazy situation, please nullify the advice is the following is true:
1] There is a hitman out to get you, and you can cycle at the speed of light.
2] Your country is getting bombed, and the Air Force is targeting people walking, but cyclists are safe.
3] You have a genetic condition that if you walk, you will combust and then explode spontaneously causing immense and irreparable damage to the local neighbourhood.
NTA
Sounds like a mix of not communicating enough (you) and way over-reacting and creating drama (her). Maybe just try to calmly work through it starting with an “I’m sorry I didn’t let you know right away but didn’t consider it a big deal given my age, the short distance and safe neighborhood.”
NTA – is she prone to anxiety?
NTA. As a mom, she wants to know how you are getting home. We get scared and overreact. Talk to her and it will be okay. Good luck!
NTA
> 0.9 miles away
That might as well be next door.
NTA
Either that’s a totally irrational reaction or there’s a lot more to this story, although I can’t imagine what it could be.
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Ask her how you are supposed to bike, on a flat tyre? Should you be irresponsible and call off work, rather than walk a short distance?
An adult with a flat tyre walks, catches the bus or finds a ride. Only a silly, frightened child would cower at home (unless it was a bad area).
Maybe she would feel calmer, if you took self defence classes and carried pepper spray/gel.
She has to (in theory) let you grow up and make adult decisions, sometime in the next 50 years.
Couple of things:
1 – Is there some kind of mistrust pre-existing here? Have you done things to make her have such an eagle-eye on you?
2 – Is she a naturally nervous person?
Ask her, very kindly, why this is such a big deal to her. ‘Mom I honestly didn’t think it mattered how I was getting to work, can you tell me why it made you this upset?’ You can reassure her too maybe of your thought process ‘I know I need to get my bike fixed, I’ll go to the store tomorrow to buy tubes for it, not to worrry. I really didn’t think it would bother you, and maybe just know that at any time I may decide to walk rather than bike to work, that way you don’t have to be worried’
I feel like there is more to this story based on her reaction. Did she see the bike and worry that you hadn’t gone to work at all. There is a certain thing as basic communication. It’s not like you needed her permission to walk but a heads up to let her know what was going on wouldn’t have hurt. NAH based on current info.
NTA Why would she be so upset and saying you are no longer worthy of her trust? You went to work, you were responsible, what else does she want?
She probably got worried when she saw your bike was there. Is there a history of any issues?