For men to be considered attractive, it usually comes down to three simple things: hitting the gym, dressing well, and getting a monthly haircut.
But for women? Above the mentioned things we’re expected to endure constant physical pain and health risks just to meet beauty standards.
Waxing or laser: painful.
BBLs: pain and potential long-term health risks/death.
Breast implants? pain and long-term health risks.
botox and fillers? pain and long-term health risks.
Hair dye, being skinny, wearing high heels, facelifts, microblading, the list is endless. Painful, exhausting, expensive procedures… all for what, exactly?
Do you really think it’s just a coincidence? Or behind the illusion of beauty standards lies a deliberate intent to make women suffer?
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I mean, the medical system expects us to suffer, I don’t see much difference in the beauty and fashion industries
Everybody has noticed this
It’s crazy. I mean, we’re expected to maintain perfect skin, hair, figure, and all the while, men just need a good haircut.
I don’t even shave my body hair. I’ll never do fillers.
It does and it’s by design
Consumerism, capitalism, patriarchy, etc etc etc. All the systems want to keep us feeling insecure and afraid so we keep spending money and time on beauty culture.
You don’t need to do any of it. If you want to that’s one thing, but if it doesn’t make you happy.. just don’t. I know that sounds flippant but it really is that easy to just not do it. The biggest hurdle for me was realizing that other peoples’ opinions about my body was none of my business.
The more people stop participating the less of an expectation it will become.
There’s an old French saying Il faut souffrir pour être belle which means to be beautiful you must suffer. Not sure how old it is, but I heard this as a child and I’m in my 60s.
Apart from (maybe) hair removal, all of these are set by the women themselves.
I think some of this is self-imposed. I don’t do any of that stuff. I stay in shape for my long term health, but I’ve never even thought about a BBL or breast implants. I refuse to wear high heels or any other clothing that hurts my body.
If that stuff makes you feel attractive, that’s one thing, but it’s by far not a universal requirement for men to find you attractive. I’ve had plenty of people find me attractive. I’m not a 10/10 by any means.
I’ve found that the best thing for all attraction is to have good hygiene and look like you care about yourself.
I’m not attracted to dirty men with poor hygiene and I’m sure many men wouldn’t be attracted to a woman who also doesn’t take care of themselves.
I feel like you listing all of the above is somewhat akin to the 6/6/6 rule men complain about. Do some people ask for all that? Sure? But they’re in a tiny minority and you shouldn’t pay attention to it. Do what makes you feel good and the right attraction will come along.
(Maybe this is my “old lady” talking.)
Youre right, but I’d like to add on a bit regarding the gym. I have noticed what people call physique inflation; what used to be considered a great physique like Captain Kirk in Star Trek or even more recently Wolverine in the first x men movie is now treated as unimpressive, and what is considered good requires dehydration and, for most guys, steroids.
The beauty and fashion industry is a scam— designed to both control and profit from women
At least we’ve ditched the daily corsets, 50lb frocks, lice infested wigs and lead & arsenic based makeup.
“Beauty is pain” has been a cliché for longer than any of us have been alive.
I hate that I skipped almost 50 years of socialisation as my preferred gender, but honestly I’m glad I missed out on painful, unrealistic beauty standards.
As a woman in her 50s I’ve kinda skipped straight to “IDGAF, do what you want, nobody’s looking at you anyway”. It sucks but there’s a freedom to it, too.
Yes and no. A lot of those are legitimately expected in order to adhere to western beauty norms (hair removal, hair dye and exercise, for example) but I don’t think we’ve gotten to the point where things like surgery (for BBLs or implants or whatever) or injectables are expected/required. To be perfectly fair, I think there may be more pressure for men to get hair implants than for women to get elective surgery.
That said, yes – female beauty standards have typically asked us to experience physical discomfort if not pain. I’m grateful to have missed the whole corset era.
https://youtu.be/85HT4Om6JT4?si=Jq_JqVCHXLMrQbgr%5BAdvertising for women](https://youtu.be/85HT4Om6JT4?si=Jq_JqVCHXLMrQbgr)
Idk. I feel like women who hit the gym, dress well, and get nice haircuts are considered plenty attractive.
I don’t think anyone out there expects you to get ass surgery. You can do “extra” things such as leg shaving, hair dying, and makeup without going to painful extremes
Simply put, men are acceptable in their natural state and women are not.
I don’t think that most of the things you mention are beauty standards tbh. Maybe among a certain influencer crowd (who look like clowns, btw) but not among anyone I know.
Gym, dress well, haircut, shave, some facials (which are relaxing) and mani/pedi (also relatively relaxing) are what I would call standards.
Monthly haircut? Well, shit.
This might be controversial here but i’m not convinced a lot of this is about men. Breast implants, botox, big eyebrows and so on, most men are either completely ambivalent on or find straight unattractive. Hair waxing and being skinny are about the only things here that feel like they’re really imposed by men’s preferences, everything else seems to be largely pressure from other women and “fashion” standards, rather than what the average man expects.
Have you seen those old Lysol ads?
“She was a jewel of a wife, with just one flaw…”
Of course it’s not a coincidence. The intent is control. This is not new either, I feel like accross cultures and time periods there were almost always some harmful beauty standards for women.
Notice also how what’s considered an attractive body type for men hasn’t really changed much for centuries, has less strict parameters, and is mostly attainable by being healthy. While for women it fluctuates from decade to decade like our bodies are nothing but fashion accessories, and it’s always something the majority of women can’t reach in natural, healthy ways.
I’ll never forget opening up my new beauty kit to find a saw blade lmao
Look up beauty ads and trends from the late 1800’s and early 1900’s. Not much has changed.
It’s a feature, not a flaw. The more time and energy (and money!) we spend on unattainable ideals of beauty, the less we will spend on being the badasses we are. Resistance is essential to growth.
I recently stopped shaving for every goddamn time I leave the house. I’ll still shave for certain occasions but I’m so done with doing it regularly.
Fuck those beauty standards, I won’t ever meet them anyway.
Speaking for most men, I don’t advocate for doing any of those listed things unless you really really want to do them for your own sake.
There are so many ridiculous beauty standards being marketed to women that doesn’t make you attractive to us. Some even have the opposite effect. Just looks fake.
All of that painful stuff is the rethuglican beauty standard for women where the only options are to either be their mommy or a pawn for their sick sex games. Look at Laura loomer ; she looks like she’s 90% silicone at this point.
If you turn yourself into a fake plastic doll, you’re gonna attract men who are into fake plastic dolls…..if that’s who you want in your life, then those are your beauty standards
But don’t pretend those are the ONLY beauty standards out there…
Tbh I think a lot of beauty standards depend on the culture. I’ve never felt pressure to do the things you listed, other than in the past, waxing. I just loosely aim for the beauty standards in the progressive community which are things like looking healthy, looking clean, good skin, clothes that look good.