Hi all,
A few days ago was Canada Day and my girlfriend of 7 months went out in our town to celebrate, at the moment I’m in another country so I wasn’t with her. Of course there’s no issues with that. Today we are video chatting and she mentions that she got 3 guys instagram on that night. I was kind of surprised and disappointed so I let her know that and she said that they ‘took’ her phone and put their instagram in and it ‘wasn’t like I gave it to them.’ I just don’t really buy it. They way the conversation flowed I don’t think she was lying when she said they ‘took’ her phone to put their insta in. Even if they did take it, how does that happen 3 times? She’s acting like its not her fault because they ‘took’ it.
I also know that these weren’t just friendly interactions because she talked about how all men these days (including those 3 guys) have a “even if she has a BF (me) there is still a chance.”
Let me know, it really moved me the wrong way, maybe I am just overreacting.
Comments
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Women like confidence not insecurity, instagrams mean nothing big dawg you’re better than that
You’re not overreacting. Your feelings are valid. I would be upset if someone took my phone. More so if it happened three times for the exact same purpose. I wouldnt make any drastic decisions based on this but this is very valuable information for you now. Be weary.
If you and she have been together for any real length of time she probably already knows that you’re jealous and you don’t trust her. So this begs the question as to why she told you about this at all. If you could get out of your own way and ask yourself why she’d be seeking conflict, then being passive-aggressive in deflecting your attempts to control her, you might learn some valuable things about yourself and this relationship. Maybe she’s a bit hostile to you being out of the country. Perhaps she was just trying to prove to you that she’s free to make new friends if she wants to. But until you and she talk about the underlying issues you’re probably not going to make such progress on this.
If you told her 3 women took your phone and put their IG’s in would she believe it? Fk no. One time with some fkn weirdo, sure, 2nd time is on her because put your phone away or get out of there at this point, but 3 times says she’s enjoying the attention because why is her phone not pocketed to stop them from doing it? Also, did you check if they’re still added? Did she say she immediately unadded them when they were away from her (which is what any normal faithful partner would’ve done in that situation if it was truly out of their control)? If they’re still added just walk away dawg, before you look at her phone one day and find her 3 boyfriends texting her.
If she says they have a chance, what’s the point? You’re 20. Go find someone you can trust.
I honestly despair.
Nobody should be giving their contact info to randoms with any romantic intentions when in a relationship.
It was always you dont give your number out.
People give them a pass but Socials I would argue are worse, as at least with a phone it’s one on one and you can block them. Or change it. With socials they have access to your wider circle and an intimate view of your life and routines.
If she is giving her contacts out to other men, that would be a conversation which leans closer to break up if she doesn’t understand the disrespect
Not overreacting. That’s a red flag from her. If they were in a group of people and she made new friends, that’s another thing. But seems like she was letting guys talk to her and connect. Which means she is opened to meet and flirt with guys and like the attention
Well. This doesn’t happens out of nowhere. Maybe they were flirting? Like reciprocal flirting. I don’t think you should break up over this. But you should have a conversation. You both young though so im not sure how things are nowadays. Im on my mid 30s
Legit only read the first line.
This shit is weird.
I regret to inform you but your girl is not faithful nor very considerate.
Get away from her immediately.
Before I try to help you come to a full conclusion, has she done anything suspicious before or is this a first time occurence? If it’s not the first time she’s done something suspicious then be cautious from now on and prepare mentally. Now if it is the first time, it might sound crazy but most women have experienced moments where they feel backed into a corner with a man. Take my words lightly as she might be having hurtful intentions, but I’ve had moments where multiple times in one night a man has hit on me and I felt like for my own safety it was better to go along with it. Taking her phone is extreme, but if she is trustworthy, she might not know how to explain her reason as its not widely talked about or she doesn’t expect you to understand which could be why she lied.
Her “even if I have a boyfriend they still see a chance” comment could be malicious, but also could be the fact that she is recognizing in these situations there is no way out. I don’t want to give you false hope, but I also don’t want you to blindly trust your partner.
If the guys were of similar age to you, in my experience (I’m the same age as you guys), men are still boys. Yes, some do take your phone and just laugh it off when you’re upset saying “just wait and I’ll bag you one day” type of comments. It doesn’t even matter if the woman is conventionally attractive, it just happens.
But at the end of the day, if she looks like the type to be with those three men despite having you then call it off. Reassurance and trust is much more important than how many followers you have on instagram.
Your overreacting as that is not your girlfriend.
If they took her phone and she took her relationship seriously she’d block and delete them
I don’t think you’re overreacting
I also think that the “they took my phone” is the worst possible excuse. She surely has a passcode, it’s not like they’d know it. She knows what she did and is now trying to change it to make you feel better after reflecting on it.
For arguments sake, let’s agree it happened the way she described it. Why hasn’t she blocked them?
Why are you so passive?
You aren’t a leaf in the stream waiting for outside forces to dictate the course of your life?
Why are you asking us if it is weird?
Why are you waiting for other people to decide what you think and what you should do?
If this were reversed how would she react? Maybe you should find out.
She’s aware of the social climate that men are cheaters and don’t think cheating is a big deal unless it’s cheating on them. Boys are pushy and won’t leave some ladies alone until they get what they want/contact info. She was upfront with you. If you’re concerned just check her IG when you get back. Don’t tell her you plan to do so though.
You’re not overreacting it’s fucked up that she did that and I’d probably dump her or have a serious talk w her if it were me
She’s blocked them since? No?
I don’t believe for a second that they managed to get her phone 3 times so that all 3 of them could connect with her on IG.
You need to face the reality that your girlfriend is most likely shopping around for your replacement as her boyfriend.
There is no other explanation for why she entertained their advances.
A faithful girlfriend would’ve turned them down immediately.
And even if she did allow them to add her just so that she could get out of that situation. Why didn’t she block them by the time that she got home?
Good luck, op. You now need to keep your eye on whether she begins emotionally cheating on you. You also have to hope that she didn’t physically cheat on you with any of these men on that night or the next few days afterwards.
Sounds like your ex gf doesn’t respect you
She’s lying. Three separate men did not randomly take your wife’s phone, add their Instagram, and then give it back. They think they still have a chance because she lets them think they still have a chance.
Not overreacting. She’s talking to other men, and she’s telling you that they have a chance. Absolutely not okay. If a man is flirting with me I shut it down immediately, because the only man I want in my life is the man that I love. There is no flirting with others, no handing out my socials, no giving someone else any ideas or hopes that they have a chance.
Well, if you want to get cheated on, stay with her
If you don’t, break up and find someone trustworthy
Listen, you’re not supposed to be in a serious relationship when you’re 20 years old in today’s society, especially not if your partner does stuff like this. Please understand she does not belong to you. She just wants you as safety. Only a matter of time, sadly. And it’s the same in 99% of case
And oh, she’s shit testing you. ChatGPT it
Guys don’t just take your phone out of your hands unless you want them too. Drop her and find a girl you can trust. This one can’t be trusted with anything.
No, it’s not weird and perfectly normal for a girl still on the prowl so yeah dude she’s definitely browsing for something new and proving it to you. That is not someone that is ready for a serious relationship. Dump her before you get burned.