My husbands long time friend recommended me to his girlfriend (at the time) for a babysitter for her 2 children. I was thrilled to do so for a bit of a side income, as I’m a stay at home mom. I was glad to do so as I have a child the same age as her younger one. I would get paid by the county for watching her children. Unfortunately, she dragged the process out way longer than it needed to be by not turning in paperwork. I had to reach out to her worker multiple times, only to find out she had not turned in paperwork which I had given her months ago. This was upsetting, and I had to wait 6 months to finally receive my first check. (I still watched her children anytime she asked during this time, while not receiving any pay.) Of course, when I finally started getting paid, things went sour between her and my husbands friend and they split. Fast forward to now. After not hearing from this girl for months, she messages me asking if I could keep her youngest child for 4 days straight. (Keep in mind I’ve never had her children overnight.) I asked if she could pay me for this and she opened my message and never responded. She never sends her children with anything, I use my child’s juice, snacks and other things for her children. And I’m on WIC. There have also been times she didn’t send her child with enough diapers and I had to use my child’s. AITA for asking to be paid?
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My husbands long time friend recommended me to his girlfriend (at the time) for a babysitter for her 2 children. I was thrilled to do so for a bit of a side income, as I’m a stay at home mom. I was glad to do so as I have a child the same age as her younger one. I would get paid by the county for watching her children. Unfortunately, she dragged the process out way longer than it needed to be by not turning in paperwork. I had to reach out to her worker multiple times, only to find out she had not turned in paperwork which I had given her months ago. This was upsetting, and I had to wait 6 months to finally receive my first check. (I still watched her children anytime she asked during this time, while not receiving any pay.) Of course, when I finally started getting paid, things went sour between her and my husbands friend and they split. Fast forward to now. After not hearing from this girl for months, she messages me asking if I could keep her youngest child for 4 days straight. (Keep in mind I’ve never had her children overnight.) I asked if she could pay me for this and she opened my message and never responded. She never sends her children with anything, I use my child’s juice, snacks and other things for her children. And I’m on WIC. There have also been times she didn’t send her child with enough diapers and I had to use my child’s. AITA for asking to be paid?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Action I took: nothing really, I didn’t receive a response from her and left it at that.
Why I think I may be the AH: asking for money
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
Say no.
She doesn’t respect your time.
She doesn’t respect your resources.
She certainly doesn’t respect you. And she should.
There are people out there who will appreciate and pay for your services.
NTA
NTA. If she can’t even provide enough diapers, you shouldn’t feel bad at all about saying no.
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NTA…You’re not even family or close friends. She should know better.
NTA. However, grow a spine.
Say no. Don’t be a doormat. That’s seriously crazy for her to even ask.
NTA, but don’t babysit for her at all.
Given all that, don’t bother even giving her the time of day anymore.
You know this is a stupid question, right OP? Of course ask for payment UP FRONT.
Nta
Cash up front.
No negotiation.
NTA. You’re gonna need to be clear that: payment of X is required to clear up prior babysitting costs, and that going forward $X is also required and does not include diapers, wipes, etc.
This isn’t a 2 hour favor she’s asked if you. She’s relying on you yet it’s costing you money out of your own pocket to care for this kid.
NTA
She’s not responding because she wanted a freebee.
Don’t sweat it. Either she will find a way to pay you because she doesn’t have another option or you will never hear from her again.
Whatever happens, do not reach out to her asking if she still needs a babysitter.
NTA. Why should she expect free labor? That’s weird.
NTA. She has taken advantage of you. No money no babysitting.
I don’t know why you’ve been doing it this long. From what I can tell, you are still in the hole – i e., operating at a loss.
How much can you afford to lose?
NTA . She’s using you , possibly to get word back to the ex that she’s out for 4 days . Don’t get in the middle of their mess and you already know she’s not concerned about what or who’s’ things her kid has access to
I wouldn’t keep babysitting if she wasn’t paying me 😔 she should have paid you
For those confused, I’ve NEVER NOT ONCE watched her kids for free. It did take a long time to finally get paid by the county due to her negligence, but I did eventually get back pay for every single time I watched her kids. They broke up, she moved to another county, therefore I could no longer be her child care provider and get paid by my county. Months go by of me not watching the kids after her move, THEN that’s when she messages me about the 4 day stay. I ask for money, she doesn’t respond. I haven’t watched her children again.
NTA. Stop doing favors for people. If they don’t have their paperwork or cash in order and/or don’t come prepared with their child then your services are unavailable. Also, inform your husband’s friend not to recommend you to people who can’t get you paid on day one. It sets you up to be taken advantage of while they get to look good.
Totally reasonable and long overdue. Did you ever get paid for the past?