I’ve been seeing this girl for about 10 years now. When she used to live near me, we’d hang out a lot and things felt mutual. But she moved away a while ago, and now the only time we see each other is when I fly her down once a year for this annual event we’ve always done together.
I usually cover most if not all,of the trip: flights, hotel, food, everything. I’ve never really minded, because I genuinely care about her and enjoy our time together. But lately… I’m starting to feel like I’m just being used.
Whenever I bring up the relationship and ask where we stand, she always says we are a couple, but she doesn’t want her family to know because “they wouldn’t like it.” The weird part is… I actually know her family well and have always gotten along with them. But in public, she never refers to us as a couple, never introduces me that way, and it kind of feels like I’m a secret. No kissing or anything like that either.
This year, I went all out for her trip, and still, it felt like the same vague situation. No clarity. Just me doing the most and feeling like I’m just being used
I don’t want to be bitter, but after a decade of this, I’m seriously considering walking away. Am I overthinking this? Or am I being strung along?
Would love some honest perspective. She does have bad anxiety.
TL;DR:
I’ve been flying a girl out once a year for 10 years, paying for everything, and she says we’re a couple — but only privately. Her family “wouldn’t approve,” even though I’m friends with them. She never acknowledges me as her partner publicly, no affection as well and I’m starting to feel used. Not sure if I’m overthinking it or if it’s time to walk away. Ps she has bad anxiety.