I’m a 15 yr old girl and my dad isn’t okay with me starting to date yet. So I’ve never had a boyfriend before but feel like I want one. We’re really close and I feel like I can talk to him about most things, but he can be strict about certain things like dating. I think he’s mostly worried about me doing sexual things with a guy because he’s mentioned it when I’ve tried to talk to him about how I want to start dating/have a boyfriend.
That, and he thinks I’m too young to have a boyfriend at 15 and shouldn’t focus on this right now. I see other people my age in relationships and feel a little left out because I can’t (my friend even has a boyfriend, so her parents are okay with her dating but still have strict rules about it).
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Your dad’s protective instincts come from love, even if it feels frustrating. Try having an honest, calm talk with him let him know you respect his concerns, but also explain how you feel and why you’re ready to start exploring relationships in a healthy, respectful way. Building trust through open communication might help him meet you halfway.
What age does he feel is appropriate for you to date?
Something you can ask him how old he was when he got his first girlfriend. And that everybody grows up.
That a boyfriend doesnt mean sexual things, but if he cant trust you than its also harder the other way around.
You want to be able to tell him things in your life instead of hiding it.
I understand rules for dating and such, but no boyfriend at all seems rough. You have to learn what you like and dislike in a partner.
I understand your frustration, maybe your dad is just not ready for you to grow up and he’s trying to hold on if that makes sense? He’s probably not ready for his bird to leave the nest so I do understand his side as well
Oh yeah, it feels really bad when everyone can do it except you. I hope your dad understands that it’s not just about having a boyfriend, but about how he makes you feel
Fuck dad needs to grown up youll be an adult soon and making your own choices
Wait…you are not missing out on anything.
OP, you’d have a very long time to explore relationships. Considering the level of pleasure and disaster relationships could cause.
It’s not a bad thing to allow yourself a little bit of time to grow more emotionally.
Scan through reddit and you’d realise this place is an eco-chamber of wrong relationship decisions.
Good luck with whatever you decide but your dad isn’t wrong.
Edit: typo
He’s your dad, a forum of people telling you otherwise isn’t a good personal life decision. Unless you are just venting
At that age i really wished i focused myself in school then these stupid boys .. if it comes to you naturally then let it be but please nvr change for a boy and no is no.
He’s your dad, he’s a man, he used to be a teen, he KNOWS what’s going on in a teen’s mind. Listen to him. At that age you should be focusing on yourself, your education and building yourself up.
The most painful thing that could ever happen to a loving father is to see his princess cry and get heartbroken when a relationship doesn’t go well. For their children, a mother’s love can shake the world but a father’s wrath can set it ablaze.
i kinda agree with your dad. i had a boyfreind at 14, and in my case it even worked well, and still i see his point. looking back at myself – i really was so so young. emotionally – i changed so much. i got hurt ny such dumb things, i havent even discouvered my own body before my then boyfriend did (not sex, wasnt dumb enough for that) which was nice in a way, but left me confused when we broke up years later.
anyway, i do see his point, and im sure its out of love for you and that alone.
did he say when he thinkins its ok for you to date?
Are you interested in someone in particular or you want to have a boyfriend because your friend has one? The age doesn’t concern me at all, but your motivation…
My deal was 16 for my kids.
They could talk online and call each other whatever, but no dates until 16.
I was not allowed to date until 16. My dad was a bit oppressive…but I was also afraid of him.
Teens are a tumultuous age. Lots of hormones, very little higher reasoning. Dating has serious implications of intention for intimacy, and “other people are doing it” is a horrible justification. You’ve barely been on this Earth so far, and your childhood will be dearly missed once its gone. Don’t grow up too fast, keep enjoying being young and innocent and childish. If you really do want to feel close with a Boy, i’d suggest a good friend first and foremost. Don’t view it as dating. Real Love can blossom from friendships down the road, and the slow burn can even help your Dad get to know him first.
And try to remember. Just because your Dad is telling you things you don’t want to hear, doesn’t mean he’s wrong. He was a Boy once. He knows from experience. He only wants what’s best for you.
He had your best interest at heart. Listen to your father. He knows better. Life has taught him better. I know it’s hard and you know everything at 15.
But trust him. He knows.
I think your dad is right about it. Imo wait till you can drive solo before bothering dating. It’s a hassle and won’t be worth it. You think you want one but that’s just your hormones talking, same goes for guys. I’m 21 and never dated and life is constantly changing in large ways, cant stay established somewhere for more then 2 years. It’s only going to be worse for you. Not worth getting into a bad breakup or risk getting pregnant. Just think about it this way, do you want your dad to pull up to drop you off on your date 🥴. Idk that sounds kinda cooked.
Is there anyone that you would like to be your boyfriend. If so, start inviting him over and have your dad meet him. Do activities with the three of you, everyone gets to know everyone. Dad will get to understand this boy and how he acts
you wouldnt even be actually dating. you can’t drive and have no job, so the only “dates” you could go one are where your dad drops you off or his mom picks you up. if anything thats a playdate.
He’s not wrong
I wish I never dated back at that age. You bring stupid decisions at that age, you’re not thinking right and frankly you might do something you’d regret later. This is the time to focus on yourself, building your personality, knowing what you really want and if love happens somewhere along the way, it happens. I know sometimes parents advice can be tough and you might feel like they not understand you, but in most cases they’re trying to protect you.
“I’m a 15 yr old girl and my dad isn’t okay with me starting to date yet.”
Well no shit, you’re a child and guys only want to use you for sex.
hes right
An out-and-out ban on dating is not going to help. It didn’t work for my sister.
If he could be brave enough to cast back to his younger years, he might tell you how he felt at the time, as a boy. He could talk to you about the temptations of dating and how you might talk to a boy who might want to go too far for you. This kind of talk helps you to make better choices. If he doesn’t tell you about boys, you’re going to have to learn it the hard way. That can lead to trauma and change how you view people, in general.
Ask him to talk about his dating experiences when he was young. Ask questions and listen carefully. Ask him to give you advice for the time he will feel safe to let you date.
In the meantime, keep your grades up and have frequent conversations with him about how it’s going. Ask questions and listen carefully. Make sure he knows who your friends are who are boys. Bring them over to hang with him. Let them see how much he loves and cares for you. They will be less likely to be disrespectful.
Communication is absolutely necessary. Be open, be honest.
He is your father. You are young. Just because your friends are doing it, would you jump off a bridge too? From experience, sometimes not being the follower is the better option. And never sacrifice yourself so you can have a relationship just like your friends.