I’ve known this friend for 14 years, but over time he’s become extremely emotionally draining, controlling, and at times verbally aggressive. He constantly wants to hang out 3–4 times a week, and when I try to set boundaries or cancel plans, he gets passive-aggressive, guilt-trips me, or acts like I’ve betrayed him. I have a full-time job, a relationship, family responsibilities, and I really value time alone. But he doesn’t respect any of that. It feels like I’m only allowed to exist if I’m prioritizing his needs. And now, I don’t even want to be his friend at all anymore. I dread seeing him. I genuinely wish I didn’t know him. The problem is: I live with him for another 3 months. We also share a friend group I care about deeply. I’m afraid that cutting him off or confronting him more directly will cause a blowup that affects the whole group—or that he’ll turn them against me. I already feel isolated and anxious constantly. Honestly, my mental health is suffering so badly I’ve started using substances just to get through the days. I feel trapped and like I’m walking on eggshells all the time. Has anyone else been in a similar situation? How do you emotionally survive the next few months while slowly detaching from a toxic, high-maintenance person—especially when you still have to live with them? And how do you maintain your other friendships while cutting this one off? Any advice, strategies, or even just validation would mean a lot right now.
Tl:DR
I slowly have started to dislike my best friend of 14 years as he has become very angry and hateful to everyone, and is constantly needy and wanting me to make time for him even though I had other commitments which he doesn’t respect and often gets hostile