Me 39M with 2 kids and her 33F with 2 kids from separate relationships trying to make the Brady bunch lol and we have been dating for over a year now and have a sticky situation that I need advice on.
So let me explain, I have 2 kids 15 and 7 one of which isn’t my biological but I have stepped into my daughter’s(7) life for 5 years as the father due to her biological dad not being present and knowing how important it is to have a father for kids. Treat her as my own.
I go to sports games, school functions and keep her with me at least once a week for sleep over/ dad time.
Used to do things with the my ex/kids mom together as friends before being in a relationship such as movies and dinners after games and that went on for 5 years.
Buuuut fast forward to now having a relationship and the kids mom will not allow the my daughter(7) to meet my now Finace and says our daughter has no reason to ever meet her.
This is causing issues with my relationship as my Finace wants to be part of all my life but feels pushed aside when I spend time with my daughter or go to games.
I have introduced my son (15) to her and they get along well, no issues.
Really issues only arise in our relationship around my daughter and my fiancé not being able to spend time together. My fiancé feels pushed aside.
They have talked on the phone when I’m with my daughter and she wants to meet my fiancé and her kids but her mother won’t allow.
It is at the point where it’s either going to cost me my relationship with my daughter or fiance. And I really don’t know what to do!?
Other than this issue we get along on just about everything under the sun!
Reddit help!
Comments
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INFO: did you adopt the 7F? is she legally your daughter?
Do you have a co-parenting agreement?
It sounds like your ex is trying to manipulate you using your daughter. Do you have any legal ground to stand on regarding custody or visitation since she is not your biological daughter? If not, as much as it hurts you and her, you will have to let this relationship go. I would be concerned about maintaining a relationship at this point for a multitude of reasons.
You pick the innocent child every time, not the grown ass woman who can’t regulate her emotions.
Uhh that is a tricky situation. Well, first off she isn’t your daughter and you get her 1 day a week at the mercy of her mom. Now your new life will consist of your new wife, your son and her kids. You should not choose the child over your new family. You just need to cut ties if her mom wants to make demands. This is the problem, you let your ex control the situation from the beginning and she will continue to do this as long as you continue with your relationship. So, do you want to be controlled by your ex for life while she uses her daughter like a pawn? It will be painful for both of you but you need to do it if your ex continues to demand not to meet or be with your fiancée. Your fiancée has a decision to make to stay with you or not if you continue this ridiculous arrangement. You did a good thing being a part of her life and father figure. You should be applauded for that but you can’t sacrifice your whole life for a child who is not yours. Talk to your ex and give her an ultimatum. It’s almost like she let you have this arrangement so she had her foot in the door and was able to control you to some degree. Well good luck.