I have a best friend whom I used to talk to everyday. For context, we’re of opposite genders. He’s a guy (29), I’m a girl (27, bisexual)(current ages, we were friends since I was like 17 though). We never had a thing. The entire time we were friends, I was on and off relationships with different people. He and I would talk about anything and everything. We both loved K-pop, anime, and video games. If you went through our conversations, it would just be us gushing about those three topics, or about how pretty someone is, or memes, or just random things. He was there during one of my lowest points, and I really value him as a friend.
Cut to three years ago, he got back with one of his ex-girlfriends. Apparently their breakup was messy, which I didn’t know about because she never came up the entire time he and I were friends. Again, it’s mostly anime/K-pop/games that we talked about. I knew he had past relationships, but he never expanded further on how they were or how they broke up. The girl was toxic, I believe. My friend would often tell me that they had fights, that he needed a breather from her. One time, I got a friend notification from a suspicious-looking account, and my friend told me to accept it because that was his dummy account. He deleted that message right away, and I accepted the dummy account. He told me how they were fighting because he wasn’t responding to the girlfriend while he was responding to me. I then proceeded to defend the girl, saying that would piss me off too, and told him to just talk to her. He would tell me how the girl got jealous that he was close to someone, and I told him that I kinda knew how she felt, being a clingy person myself.
Fast forward to me getting a message from my guy friend, and I knew right away it was the girlfriend who was using his account. The girlfriend proceeded to go off on me, practically accusing me of being a side piece without directly saying it, claiming she could ‘read our chats’. I proceeded to message right away, saying that I’m more attracted to women and if she could read our chats, then READ IT. There’s nothing in there that would imply that I ever have feelings for this guy or ever will. She said the guy would defend my name in every fight they had (most probably because she’s crazy and was accusing me of things I probably didn’t do). She said the guy would defend me over her, which proceeded to drive her even more nuts.
I think after that conversation between me and the girl using his account, I feel like the girl made him choose; her or me. And unfortunately for me, he chose her. Because after that, he blocked me on the platform where we normally talked. He never reached out ever since, and that was probably about three years ago now. He still follows me on my other social accounts, and I see that they’re still together even now. He would still always view my story on my socials but never interacts with it.
TLDR; I miss my best friend and I want to reach out to him. I do know that it’s probably not the best thing to do, and I will most likely never do it, not unless I see that they’ve broken up for some reason or if anything major/important comes up.
I had an ex who practically made me choose between a friend or her, so I know how difficult of a position that must be. I won’t do anything that would cause my friend harm. If they’re still together after all these years, I know that he must love her for sure. If my theory of her making him choose her over me is true, then that already tells me how much he feels for her.
I just miss my friend, and it sucks I can’t do anything about it. I also understand that if he cared for me, he would’ve probably reached out by now or made a compromise with his girlfriend. But I also do know that sometimes you can’t fix crazy. If the girl was set on thinking I was out to steal her man, there was no talking her out of that one.