i dont have anyone to ask. so j am posting it here. I’m 19 years old, and I lost my parents 4 years ago when I was 15. Since then, I lived with relatives for 2 years, and then I moved out to live alone with my siblings my 13-year-old sister and 5-year-old brother.
in recent, I’ve been worried because this is the age when most girls start getting their first period. My family was one of those “don’t tell your father or brother” type of families, if u can relate. So I never learned how to handle this kind of thing.
The thing is, I’m really concerned. okay. My sister has no female figure around, and I’m scared she might feel confused or scared when it happens i feel even more scared when i thought what if she doesn’t even know this kind of thing is going to happen. and even more worried that she won’t feel comfortable telling me about it.
I really need advice Should I be open about it with her? Should I try to get her some kind of female support? Would I look creepy to my own sister if i jus say it?, even though I’m just her brother trying to help?
I know I might sound dumb, god i feel really dumb. but I didn’t ask for this. never did. Life just threw everything at me, and I’m trying my best. I’ve been doin a lot. bills, responsibilities, and being there for both of my siblings. I really want to do the right thing. Any advice would mean a lot.
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You can tell her in advance, hey sis just so you know around this years your body will change and this and that will happen however don’t worry here’s your bro to assist you ok. Then buy some towels (dunno the name in english) and they’re used like this. This is in the bathroom in private, if you have any questions ill do my best to answer them. And I’m here for anything. That’s it. No worries champ you got this!
Go on Amazon and get her a period kit. It includes pads and period underwear and a book and other stuff and just give to her so she is prepared for when it happens.
It’s called The Bloom first period kit. It’s awesome. She will love it.
Find a quality YouTube explainer as well. “Hey sis, I’m a bit out of my depth but how about we learn about this together. I found a useful vid and I’m here for any support you need”.
I don’t know if it’s the right answer for everyone, but tell her to look it up online. Plenty of information that she can look up with privacy, without making it weird.
Make sure to tell her that her body is changing it’s very scary but no you’re not dying (that’s what I thought when I first got mine even though my parents were always open about periods) make sure to tell her that she will be sad angry and her back lower stomach might hurt and you may never really know when it’s going to come unless you track it closely. And when you first start they aren’t as consistent I skipped months for the first year of mine. And if it’s really heavy PERIOD UNDERWEAR you can get them very cheap at Amazon and they work like a charm. Also, ibuprofen helps more than Tylenol for cramps. Also always be open for conversations about it sometimes when these crazy new things are happening all you really want is to talk about it and not feel alienated. Also, this might be very direct advice, but your period will always come before trips. Or at least mine does. Reassure her all the time that everything is completely fine with her. That her getting her period can be a wonderful thing… of course I know that these talks aren’t easy especially if the topic is new sooo if you feel like you can’t provide a good explanation as to wtf is going on there are books on it and also books to help her manage the feelings that periods tend to give us women. Ooh and tampons aren’t a great idea for inexperienced girlys pads are good and about the period underwear I ALWAYS wear pads with the underwear it works its great! Also maybe a heated water bottle or heating pad for the cramps. (Sorry I’m going all big sister here. Just trying to help anyway I can.) and if she gets acne before her periods pimple patches work really well! Remind her to drink water as possible. It makes periods less painful and shorter. I would say find a good YouTuber as well. That can explain different tips and tricks that can help but that’s all I got.
As I was saying previously, I completely understand that this is new to both of you. Not only to her body, but you having to navigate what to do to help her. My tip for you: first always be loving and patient. Sometimes whenever we’re hormonal, it’s really hard to control our tongue. But do not tolerate blatant disrespect just because she’s on her period. (that’s kind of obvious) secondly like I said before to any conversation. Periods aren’t gross or weird. They are completely natural and make sure that is crystal clear that she isn’t gross for having a period. Also, sometimes when our hormones are all out of whack, we tend to have some major body odor. So I would recommend having a little bag that she can take with her. That has extra underwear, pads, deodorant, and anything else that she might need. They have premade ones on Amazon as well.
I really hope the situation gets better for all of you. And You really shouldn’t feel dumb It’s not your fault that you weren’t taught about this. You were doing your best and that’s all that matters! I’m happy that this little girl has somebody that cares so much. It’s really hope that her periods aren’t painful or too heavy because mine are and It sucks. But best of luck to you both.
You are doing GREAT.
There’s a chance she’s already started and her friends helped her. Or she’s done the research and talked with her friends.
I can see how she might feel a little shy about talking to her brother about it, but maybe not.
She will need money to buy the things she needs. I’m assuming you don’t exactly know what to buy. So tell her “I know you need stuff when you have your period, and I’ll take you to the store and give you cash to get it. Or, if you want to order online, you can use my account.”.
13? The day after my daughter turned 10 it happened. Here in Australia, girls are taught about this by the visiting school health nurse. Hppe sll goes well.
You don’t sound dumb at all you sound so loving and caring! Your siblings are lucky to have you. If there’s a woman she trusts and she could talk to your sister about this, good. If not. You can do it. It doesn’t need to be so complicated and maybe she has already talked about it with her friends? Maybe there’s a nice informational video of n YouTube that can help? It would be nice if you can get her pads to be prepared. Get both “regular” and “night time” or extra long
I just wanna say, Gob bless your kind soul.
Also get a notepad for the fridge so she can write things that need picking up from the shop.
Either her doctor or a women’s health/sexual health clinic will be able to arrange to give her a practical talk some even offer like a group sex ed class talk. Look into that.
She has friends right? Girls, who have mums. It will be awkward I know, but speak to her bffs mum or the mums of the friend group. Tell them that you are going to be having discussions (because its ongoing) with your sister about periods etc and you would appreciate their advice and help. you want your sister to have a healthy attitude about all this so if they would be willing to talk to her a little (not the main talks, not do your parenting job for you) and include her in general openness about periods etc that would be great, and if willing make it known that they would be happy to talk anything through with her.
4.You can find good resources online (planned parenthood, girlguides etc) show her reputable sites where she can safely look for answer if she wants.
Make sure she know where she can get pads from if she needs them. Schools sometimes, libraries sometimes etc locally to you. She should be carrying some pads with a change of underwear to school etc.
Get her some period products start with pads (when she does get her period get her some period underwear) get her a hot water bottle or a heating pad. Make sure you have suitable painkillers in case she needs them.
Have age appropriate conversations with the 5 year old. They need to know what happens too and how to be kind to their older sister as she deal with all the changes.
You could buy a puberty book and make a basket with pads and pain medication and put it under the bathroom sink. This way there doesn’t have to be an awkward conversation if you are nervous about that. Just make sure to keep an eye on the basket and refill it if needed because she might be too embarrassed to ask for more supplies. I used to suffer from severe cramps and I was too embarrassed to ask anyone for ibuprofen or anything.
Ask her school counselor for recommendations on the right book about puberty for girls. And get a first period kit.
Ehh if she’s 13 there’s a good chance she’s already started. Maybe. Probably. So with my daughter she would discuss all this at length in the car with friends lol and I’d be mortified. I neverrrrr talked about any of it around my mom and not much with my friends. Lmao but now from my experience they all talk about it open and freely with everyone. My daughter and her friends all call it shark week. Now. Maybe they all don’t lol so?
I also notice that things are more easily discussed in text? So maybe text her and tell her that she able to discuss things with you and that you realize that she is of age to be needing certain items from the store and that she can buy them or that you can get them? I order groceries for delivery so I guess that’s more of any out here but also target offers online order for free pickup which is a great option so maybe she can order items and you can pick them up and put them in the bathroom for her to get which is discreet?
Also it’s a great idea to have an emergency kit for her locker at school. My daughter had a lunch box with black leggings, some plain undies, and several pads to have in case she started at school she could grab the lunch box and change at school easily.
I also want to say that you rock for taking all of this on! Hopefully you have people in your life that are also helping you out so this isn’t all on your shoulders.
You’re an impressive & inspiring young man. You will do the right thing I’m sure.