So I (27F) have been on a 5 day trip with a friend (28F) and today is our last day. We’ve been friends for about 5 years and have never fought like this before. This is our first trip together.
I know she is a bit looks obsessed but I didn’t think she would stoop this low.
So this is how it started. We went to the hotel breakfast area yesterday and we were just chatting as we waited in the line. I was just like “omg I must look so tired” and she was like “yea same here” I was like “nah girl you look so refreshed” (I was complimenting her, she really didn’t look tired at all)
She was like “no trust me I am tired, I am just prettier than you that’s why I look good”, I immediately was taken aback and asked “what’s that supposed to mean?” She then shrugged and said “it’s exactly what it means”. I didn’t want to make a scene at the breakfast area so I waited until we went back to the hotel room to confront her on her comment.
Btw, we are roughly the same level of attractiveness. We are both fairly average – cute looking women of colour. (I am of East African descent, she is South Asian)
When we went back to the hotel room I was like “that is so weird of you to start talking about I’m prettier than you, were you secretly comparing and competing with me the whole time?” She was like “you’re just too sensitive, I was just being honest we can’t all have everything, you have things I don’t have either”
I said “no you clearly are just a very shallow person and you’re not the type of person I want to be friends with”, she was like “you’re just wasting my time, I want to enjoy this trip and you’re getting mad over nothing” we went back and forth a couple times until I was like “fuck this you’re not even worth it”, quickly got ready for the day and left without her.
Today is our last day, I have barely spoken to her except when absolutely necessary and went out and did sightseeing without her. I don’t see myself ever speaking to her again after we get back home tbh.
Am I really being too sensitive? Or was her comment out of line?
Comments
NTA. That was extremely rude of her to say. Where did she get that attitude from? I’m so sorry this happened to you.
NTA
looks are subjective and in 10 to 15 years her face will wrinkle and sag.
NTA she was way out of line. Drop her like yesterday
Too hilarious to rate.
Women really do hate each other.
Definitely NTA. Your ‘beauty’ doesn’t determine your worth, but your attitude does. Stay classy and free from toxicity.
Yeah, her comment was stupid. She’s clearly shallow. I don’t see an issue with ending the friendship either. That being said, the amount of emotional energy you are putting into this is ridiculous. Just realize she is vain and move on. You don’t need to waste any emotional bandwidth.
I suggest laughing off her comment. Nobody would make a comment like that if they weren’t either joking or insecure.
You’re not overreacting. She really said something hurtful and called it “honesty.” That’s not normal. Friends like that aren’t real friends. You did the right thing.
NTA. This is something that should never be spoken aloud even if you think it’s true…but her comments make me think narcissist much? “You’re too sensitive”….can you say gaslighting and demeaning your feelings? I hat to loose a 5 year friendship but WTF?
Must be truth to it for this response lol
You’re in your late twenties but you’re acting like 12-year-olds.
If she thinks looks are everything, remind her that personality is what gets you invited back for the next trip.
Imagine thinking you’re prettier than someone and still needing to say it out loud. That’s insecurity talking, not confidence
Nta. She was definitely out of line and was trying to make herself feel better by putting someone else down
Ehh, I don’t want to sound too harsh because you’re absolutely NTA. But you are putting alot of emotional energy into this, even going as far as to say you’re both the same, people like this simply aren’t worth it.
NTA at all! She’s rude and has no manners. My Mom used to say, “when you’re complimented, just say thank you.” You complimented her, and she could have just said, “thank you,” or just about anything other than what she said. She’s rude and self obsessed and I wouldn’t spend one more minute of my time with her.
She is shallow. Loads of women have friendships like this and many secretly compare looks. It’s why popular or pretty women won’t be friends with ugly women like men will have friends that are borderline bums or totally out of their league but women don’t operate that way.
I’d consider that there may be a shred a racism at play here too. Some people think that black equals less pretty even if you are of same attractiveness.
Either way she is not a good friend. She should never have said this.
You will both look the same in fifty years. NTA.
🤣seriously and both are in the 20s.
Sounds more like your both around 14-15 years old. Yikes!
NTA. Even if she was a professional model and you looked like a troll, that’s not something you say to a friend.
This should have just been a throw away line, but you made it more. You aren’t the asshole, I just think you’re overreacting.
ESH. 27? You both sound like you’re 12.
She was weird and rude. But – and I’ll be downvoted for this — you could move past it. It isn’t an unforgivable sin for her to be vain and say so, if you choose just to mark it down as the way she is. Up to you
Both of you sound immature. Grow up
I am reminded once again that pretty is as pretty does.
Was she drunk or on drugs?
NTA.
As someone smart once said brutal honesty is never about honesty but always about being brutal.
at the ripe age of 28?! is she mentally okay lol
Are either of you actually attractive?
YTA. Why do you care if she thinks she is prettier than you? Or says so?
Be honest, is this really the first out of pocket thing she’s ever said? She just sounds like a bad person.
She’s jealous of the things she perceived you got that she didn’t so she has to level the playing field somehow to re-invalidate herself.
And, also why does she consider herself prettier in the first place? Could it be low key racial tropes?
I say send in pics of both and let us decide lol
But, it was a fucked up thing to say and definitely not accidental. I wouldn’t trust her.
She will lose every single friend she’s ever had
With friends like these who needs enemies?
NTA… that’s a weird ass comment to make. I’m sorry she said that to you. I know it must’ve felt like a massive blow. I had a similar experience when I got to realize the character of my “friend”. Glad you saw her true colors before you let her more into your life. That trip was meant to happen so you could see who she really was
NTA – this is not what real friends do.
Vanity obsessed women as “friends” are truly cancerous. I lived with an absolute monster who was the most narcissistic, self absorbed “look at me” I’m so pretty, vain bitch and it was truly damaging to me. I promise you are better off without her, you are not the asshole and I’d rather spend the rest of my life with zero friends vs one capable of what you experienced!
You would fight eventually; get out now
NTA. Where the hell did that come from? I’d never talk to her again too.
“that is so weird of you to start talking about I’m prettier than you, were you secretly comparing and competing with me the whole time”
calling people on their BS is adulting. good job. dont let her play the victim after saying something like that