I (27F) and three friends made a last minute plan to go to the mountains this weekend. Our group is a couple, let’s call them Jay (27F) and Sam (32F) and two single friends, me and Alex (26M).
We actually found a good Airbnb at first. It had two bedrooms, one with a king bed, and one with two single beds. Alex and I were totally fine sharing the second room as long as we had our own bed. But Jay kept saying that she wanted a pool. This is a short, two day trip and we’re staying just one night. I really didn’t see why a pool was a big deal. We kept going back and forth trying to decide and the place got booked by someone else. After that, the only places we could find had just one bedroom, a pull out couch, and an air mattress. Alex is recovering from an injury, so of course he shouldn’t be on the air mattress. The couple immediately said they wanted the bedroom, but they’re not offering to pay more for it. That leaves me with the air mattress.
Jay and Sam both don’t have a driver’s license, and Alex can’t drive right now because of his injury. So I’m the only one who can drive us there and back. On top of that, I’m also the only one who has to work on Monday. I really don’t want to be the one driving for hours, sleeping on an air mattress, and then dragging myself to work the next day all tired and sore. I genuinely hate sleeping on an air mattress! I always sleep like shit and it just hurts my neck.
So, I told them I was backing out. I told them that if they really want to do a trip like this, they need to plan it better so that everyone is comfortable. Alex and Sam seemed to understand, but Jay got annoyed. She said I was being a party pooper, that I was being selfish, and that I was ruining the weekend. She told me I should just adjust so we could all have fun. For a moment, I really did think I was overreacting cause it’s just one night, and going to the mountains would be super fun. But honestly, it doesn’t feel fair that I have the worst sleeping arrangement, and still get labeled as the problem.
So, AITAH for backing out “last minute” because I didn’t want to sleep on an air mattress?
Comments
NTA – perfectly reasonable to want an actual bed when youre paying for it
NTA. Your comfort matters just as much as theirs. Remember, lack of planning on their part doesn’t constitute an emergency on yours.
sounds like you just grew a backbone. Maybe next time they won’t try to take advantage of you
NTA! I wouldn’t want to sleep on an air mattress either if I was paying for accommodation and of course the drive there and back.. Bye bye pool ✌🏽
Thats legit shitty. Everyone pays the same price but you get the worst bed option and are the designated driver? Nah. They’re just mad because they can’t do any of this without you, but not appreciating the extra effort on your part. NTA.
NTA. Equality in planning, enjoyment and discomfort. If they can’t respect that, no need to sacrifice your comfort and energy.
NTA. Planning travel by committee is always a challenge. When special requests come up at the last minute, it makes it that much more difficult.
NTA they’re bad friends. They expect you to ferry them and take the shitty option of an air mattress.
NTA
Jay was the party pooper demanding somewhere with a pool instead of accepting somewhere that everybody has an actual bed.
They werent going to pitch in for gas, either, were they?
The 2 people who cant drive, trying to call the shots on a road trip is low key hilarious
Tell them to either quit being bums, or to quit being selfish pricks
You should’ve told her “Nah, I’m driving and my SO is recouping so I’ll not drive you and then us sleep on an air mattress”. There will be no next time.
NTA. Jay thought it was more important for her to have a pool than for you to have a bed. That shows what kind of person they are. And on top of that to call you the selfish one!
Hell no!!!
NTA and if she was so annoyed, she could volunteer her and her boyfriend to sleep on the air mattress since they’re (or she’s) the one with all the issue
It’s cute that your selfish friend is calling other people selfish because they won’t treat her like a princess at their expense. And by cute I mean pathetic.
If she wants you there so bad so you can drive them all there just tell them the bedroom is yours full stop. If she can’t “adjust” then back out as planned. No adult enjoys sleeping on an air mattress and Jay knows this which is why she’s fine with it when it’s not her sleeping on it. watch how fast those feelings change when you inform her thats where she’ll be sleeping or you won’t be coming.
NTA and to call you a party pooper when Jay was the hold out for a better place because she wanted a pool is just another level of ridiculousness. Your comfort and preference matter just as much as hers.
NTA. I’d just laugh and say “no, being selfish is demanding a pool and then demanding that you be the one to sleep in an actual bed with no consideration to the other people also going on the trip.”
Jay ruined the plans. Remind her you all had beds before she demanded a pool. You were clear from the beginning about wanting a bed.
NTAH
NTA I had a “friend” who insisted we drive 3 hours to a show and back the same night, didn’t want to stay an extra day or two to do things in that city and make the drive worth it for me, which we’d initially discussed when I agreed to the trip. We definitely had to take my car. I backed out and I’m so glad I did; I felt pretty used honestly because she expected that I’d do that. You’ll be so relieved you backed out.
NTA
Do they not realize that they can’t go without you? And they want to make you the least comfortable? Nope!
Sleeping on an air mattress and doing all the driving tell them they need to Uber
Tell them you can go if the couple sleeps on the air mattress. Same price breakdown. NTA
NTA
How do 2 grown adults of that age not have driver’s licenses? That’s kinda sad.
“With friends like these,” etc., etc., etc. …….
Lmao the NERVE of putting the trip driver on the air mattress. NTA at all. If you want to save the friendship keep an eye out for other airbnbs that meet everyone’s needs (you can search without a specific date) and then propose alternative dates when that Airbnb is available.
Tell Jay that she’s a 27 year old who can’t drive.
I will never sleep on an inflatable mattress ever again. I’ve spent too many holidays “making it work” on the cheapest effing air beds money can buy… it’s awful. I don’t blame you. Especially since someone wants to ask you for money in exchange for “letting you” stay on an air mattress… NTA
That’s not real camping.
You may not realize this, but “Air” in Air B&B stands for air mattress.
NTA- totally unfair expectation from the couple. They are incredibly selfish and inconsiderate.
Nta
The one who caused the beds to be lost with their insistence of a pool. Forfeits the right to the only bed. They can share the air mattress. If there is only one bed. It goes to the driver or the injured
NTA!!
Tough luck Jay. Maybe Jay and Sam should sleep on the air mattress. Imagine paying for sleeping on an air mattress.
If anything, they should be prioritizing your comfort since you are the only one who can drive. NTA
Make a pro-con list, ask what would she do and put the matter behind you. That was a shite deal for you and I don’t blame you. NTA
NTA. You don’t go to the mountains for one night and have a pool be the feature of the accomodation over a proper place for everyone to sleep.
So, because she had to sacrifice a pool, she expects you to sacrifice a bed and YOUR the one who is selfish? This is called projection, lol
So wait…a 32yo and a 27yo who are a couple BOTH can’t drive? Do they have jobs? What do they do all day? NTA. The two losers who are using you for a ride are TA.
NTA. Jay insisted on a pool, which created shitty sleepingarrangements, so she should get the air mattress. I skipped a family reunion because I was going to have to sleep on the couch because I was a single adult. The couples and children were given real beds. Nope! See ya.
Nta. You wanting a bed is not you being unreasonable. They made a choice and that choice doesn’t work for you. They can find another ride
Maybe they’ll learn. NTA
Jay can sleep by the pool. You get the bed. Sam takes the air mattress. NTA
Tell them to buy a high quality like King Koil fancy one (I slept on one and it’s not bad at all) and tell them you will only if they pay for the high quality one
I wanna say your reasons are justified, but simultaneously as someone who can sleep about anywhere, I would be mortified personally to back out. Plus, they make really comfortable air mattresses these days, I have a queen size one that is more comfortable than some beds, tbh.
NTA, and if Jay wants to talk shit just point out that you had one requirement, which was having an actual bed. She insisted on making sure that didn’t happen, she is the one that pushed you out of the trip.
NtA. Exactly which bit was fun for you? The driving there? The not drinking much as you are the only driver? The air mattress deprived sleep? The drive home, or the early work rise on Monday?
Were they even paying for the petrol?
Make the couple sleep on the air mattress
Air mattresses are for people who like to sleep on the floor…but slowly. NTA
She can sleep on the air mattress, if she says no, she is being selfish and a party pooper..
NTA. That and you aren’t backing out “at the last minute” if it was a half-assed poorly planned last minute trip.
That and I wouldn’t want to be the chauffeur and pay full freight for a rental to sleep on an air mattress.
If you can’t get a good night of sleep you will not enjoy the trip!
NTA – lol “selfish” and “adjust” when you get the big bed, and you refuse to pay more. The audacity !
NTA. I must say though that I have seen an air mattress that was better than most beds.
NTA You do now owe it to anyone.
Anyone who accuses you of complaining is welcome to the air mattress. They are being selfish and entitled. NTA
Don’t even think about it! They were taking advantage of you!
Just how much relaxing would you get to do?
Driving on each day, I assume at least 3 hours each way, picking up and dropping off the drones, packing and unpacking the car. Then sleeping on the lounge floor.
NTA you’re literally getting the short end of the stick here. You are doing the driving (probably without any payment for gas money) and then you get the worst sleeping accommodations and have to work the next day. Plus driving for a long trip is very tiring and I feel like people always ignore that like its no big deal. All of your reasons for not wanting to go are totally valid.
NTA. They want you to drive, sleep on an air mattress, and pay the same amount? Hell no!
I went on a trip with friends. And everyone had a great reason to have better sleeping situations, so I ended up with the worst. I ended up on the couch for the last night because I was miserable. Totally worth it to insist on a real bed that doesn’t suck.
NTA, of course she wants you to drive her somewhere and subsidize her sweet vacation, so she doesn’t have to pay as much for transportation or lodging, she is self-centered.
They clearly didn’t plan this well, and it’s unfair to expect you to take on all the downsides, driving, working, AND the terrible sleep, just because Jay wanted a pool. Your comfort matters, especially for a quick trip like that. It’s wild how quick people are to call you selfish when you prioritize your own needs after being asked to do too much.
NTA- Change of plans needs to allow for backing out because the plan is now different.