I’m (41F) emotionally stuck in something undefined. He (40M) still feels like “home,” but something changed.

Hi everyone. I’m not even sure how to write this, but I need a space to process.

I’ve been emotionally involved with someone for the past 18 months. We’ve never been officially together, but the connection was intense — emotionally, intellectually, physically. In many ways, he saw me in ways no one else ever did. There were moments I felt truly held, respected, even cherished.

But over time, something shifted. He became less present. The tone of his messages changed. We still talk, but not the same way. And although he says I’m the only one he’s emotionally connected to, I’ve seen signs (messages, emojis from others, sending pictures discreetly during dinner) that suggest there might be other people in the background.

The most painful part is: I can’t really ask. There’s no “right” to demand anything — because nothing was ever official. But emotionally, I feel committed. I miss him deeply. And I know I need to loosen my grip, but I don’t know how.

I guess I just needed to say it somewhere. Has anyone else felt something similar? How do you begin to let go when part of you still feels like they’re “home”?

TL;DR;
Was emotionally involved with someone for 18 months. Not official, but very intense and intimate. Now things feel distant, but I can’t fully let go — even though I know I should. Looking for thoughts or similar experiences.