i’m only 21 and i know i’m young, but tonight i found of my boyfriend of two years cheated on me at the bar three days ago. he was so perfect to me, we never fought, i never imagined he would cheat, he spoiled me in gifts and dinner, i told him all my secrets, he was with me all through nursing school, i truly feel he was my best friend. i told him i didn’t want to be with him (he also said she was prettier than me 😭😭😭) i just feel so weird and i hate this feeling. just looking for people who’ve been through this and how long it took you to heal and how you did ??
cheated on
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Advice is to dump and block and recognize red flags earlier.
Time is on your side. As years go by your attention will shift to other things and it’ll be a distant memory. But it never completely goes away. My girlfriend Gina cheated on me during the year 2001. I’m 48 now. A quarter century later I still remember it. But I’m also happy we never got married. Not to minimize your current pain. Betrayal is awful. Be calm and have impulse control if there are any upcoming conversations with the ex. Good luck to you.
I heard one person say this. How long were you together, give yourself half that time to get over it? These aren’t my words. But if you’re together for 2 years. Give yourself 1 year to move on. Maybe that statement gives a better timeline than my specific story about my past relationship.
All I can say is Try to avoid sad songs for a few days.coz they’ll start making too much sense right now.😭
Cut your losses. If he was truly meant for you, he wouldn’t cheat.
Girl, he didn’t cheat because you weren’t enough, He cheated because he wasn’t. Keep reminding yourself of that every single time it hurts. Mine cheated while I was deep in school too. It hurst like hell fr, but you will get through it.
im gnna say two things that i think will heal you asap.
Understand that you dodged a bullet and that if he hadnt cheated now, he was certainly gnna do it years down the line when yall are married or too deep into the relationship. So you dodged a massive bullet.
Allow yourself to feel the grief and sadness for around 2-3 days. Listen to sad music, take some walks, step back and look at the whole picture. By allowing yourself to grief now, you’ll learn to accept the reality and after that it’ll be wayyy easier to move on. If you hold it in its just like holding in a poop… its gnna hurt and its not going anywhere.
LASTLY, understand that with time you will 💯 move on and forget and find someone who’ll make you feel even better. The quicker you process your emotions and understand then the quicker you’ll heal. God bless.
ps. Also don’t romanticise him in your head. Yes he treated you like a queen, but for us men that is very ez to fake. A real man will never lead a girl on coz they understand that honesty is better than lying even if it hurts. Ive ended relationships with girls b4 coz I was practical and knew they werent going anywhere, and by explaining that to the girls, they appreciated my honesty and it helped them move on faster, since there were no toxic feelings and no betrayal, just a two people parting ways in a mature sensible manner. Both these girls now have boyfriends they love… Im more of a wife typa guy;)
I’m crying for you and I don’t know why I’m so sorry, but he was obviously not the one and soon another will come and will definitely treat you better.
If my ex boyfriends weren’t idiots I never would have met the husband I have and love so much now. It will make space for something even better with time. I know it hurts but it really will be ok. You’ll hear from him, but don’t answer, be strong and move on