Filing a pfa without an attorney

Here’s the story: please don’t judge.

My children’s father has been in prison since they were 2 and 3 years old. They are 12 and 13 now and thriving. This is not his first offense, this marks his third time being sent to prison since they were born and his longest sentence he’s serving which is 9-18 years. That will make him eligible for parole next year. He told me a few years ago he stabbed someone in prison during a fight (I googled info on this and couldn’t find any proof only his word of mouth but I definitely think he’s capable of it). He’s a gang member (not sure if he’s an active gang member and don’t personally want to bring this up in fear of retaliation). I met this man when I was a teenager, had two kids at a young age and tried to help him during his drug addictions and jail sentences before this long sentence. He’s currently in prison for burglaries. When he first went to prison I tried to keep a relationship with him with children because I never wanted to be the mom that kept their children from their other parent. I drove them to his prison 5 hours away only one time to see him in prison these past 8 years. I would set up online zoom visits for them to participate in. Eventually my children didn’t want to do the visits or answer his calls. I was fine with this and let them make their own decision on this without swaying them at all. I haven’t spoken to him since November, my son hasn’t spoken to him in maybe a year, and my daughter blocked his number in April.

Fast forward to today. I have a beautiful 3 month old with a man I’ve been with for 4 years. He has been my children’s father figure these past 4 years and has two kids of his own so we are a blended family. My children love him and he loves my children.

Three days ago I received a letter in the mail from their inmate father. In this letter he states multiple threats to my partner because he saw my partners Facebook post to my daughter for her birthday. In the letter he is saying once he gets out he’s going to hurt him for taking his family and multiple other threats of beating him up. He even says to me “one day you’re going to feel the pain I’ve been feeling all these years” referring to being without his children. He’s convinced I’ve brainwashed my children into not wanting to speak with him. He also mentions “fuck your newborn” about my new baby and said that he would say more foul shit but won’t since it’s his kids half sister.

This letter scared the shit out of me. It was pure anger. I’ve watched too many documentaries to know how a man like this could react. So the next day I go to family court and file an emergency PFA. I was denied because the judge said “it’s not like he gave you an exact date that he’ll attack you”. I mentioned my fear of retaliation from others and she said “well this pfa won’t protect you from those people”. So we have a court date on the 15th. I’m currently living in fear until then. I can’t imagine the rage he’s feeling since being served.

Here’s my problem. I do not have an attorney nor can I afford one. I’m worried that since he’s in prison he’ll get better legal advice and support than me. I know if he wasn’t in prison he wouldn’t show up to my court date but since he has free transportation he’ll be there. He’s not on either of our children’s birth certificates. I do not have a custody agreement with him since he’s been in prison their whole life. Am I going into this court date like a total idiot since I don’t have an attorney? I understand I could also file terroristic threatening but I am just so scared of the retaliation. I have locked down our social media accounts and nothing is able to be seen unless you’re our friend. Any advice on my next move? I am reaching out to a free attorney for domestic violence victims on Monday but don’t know if I’ll even qualify. He’s never physically hurt me in the past.

Thanks for reading.
Location: Delaware