So recently, my girlfriend and I went to the mall to get something that she needed. We were looking for a store that we just didn’t seem to find so suggested that we go into another store and just ask them. She seemed to be reluctant but tagged along anyway. I called out to one of the workers saying “Excuse me, Can you tell me where XYZ store is?” After which he guided me towards the store. My girlfriend thought it was very improper of me to do that because I seemed to have been loud when i said that. She also made a point saying “who goes to a store, doesn’t buy a thing and ask about another one???” Which really confused me. She told me ” thats soooo embarrasing. I think i developed an Ickkk”. Her body language through this seemed pretty serious and not light hearted at all.
We left the store and i obviously felt very embarrassed that she called me out for something i didn’t feel was wrong at all. So i said to her, “You’re a piece of shit towards me sometimes and im not joking about this”.
Thats where our conversation ended and things seem to be pretty awkward and heated right now.
Who is the bigger asshole here?
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So recently, my girlfriend and I went to the mall to get something that she needed. We were looking for a store that we just didn’t seem to find so suggested that we go into another store and just ask them. She seemed to be reluctant but tagged along anyway. I called out to one of the workers saying “Excuse me, Can you tell me where XYZ store is?” After which he guided me towards the store. My girlfriend thought it was very improper of me to do that because I seemed to have been loud when i said that. She also made a point saying “who goes to a store, doesn’t buy a thing and ask about another one???” Which really confused me. She told me ” thats soooo embarrasing. I think i developed an Ickkk”. Her body language through this seemed pretty serious and not light hearted at all.
We left the store and i obviously felt very embarrassed that she called me out for something i didn’t feel was wrong at all. So i said to her, “You’re a piece of shit towards me sometimes and im not joking about this”.
Thats where our conversation ended and things seem to be pretty awkward and heated right now.
Who is the bigger asshole here?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1) Calling her a piece of shit
2) because calling your gf a piece of shit is usually not the norm
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
leave her man
ESH. Are you both 16 or something? This is really childish.
Your girlfriend gives me the “ickkk”.
This pure, 100%, Grade-A, USDA choice ESH.
You two need to break up and grow up.
ESH. Stop being passive aggressive both of you.
She’s definitely the ass hole… I will stop short of calling you one, but you could have handled that a lot better – just because you are disrespected doesn’t mean you need to respond with disrespect. Calmly telling her that her behavior was wrong/not acceptable for you would have been better.
Separate question though – why is she still your girlfriend? Based on your framing of this situation it sounds like this isn’t the first time she’s acted this way towards you… She seems insufferable – don’t waste your time with people who mistreat you.
You are both terrible
NTA. Dump her
She told you that something you did was embarrassing and icky so you called her a piece of shit… just read it back. Hope that helps.
YTA. Definitely not ok to say that to you girlfriend and also weird what you did in the store.
> “who goes to a store, doesn’t buy a thing and ask about another one???”
Someone in need of directions?
YTA because she expressed how she felt about something and in response you called her a name. Do I agree with her feelings? No. Do you? Obviously not. Is that a reason to call your partner a name?
You could have asked her why she felt that way. You could have politely disagreed. There’s nothing wrong with asking for help, especially if your lost. You could have even genuinely asked her what she would have done to solve the problem.
If your response to your partner being uncomfortable because of something you did (even if you didn’t think what you did was a big deal or harmful or problematic) – if your response to that is name calling, you’re not ready to be in a relationship.
NTA. She’s looking for a problem.
YTA. the “bigger” one is you for posting this, if not just for cursing her out. that’s blatantly immature and disgusting behavior from a partner. she also openly and cruelly criticized you which is 100% wrong and i feel the same way about her behavior as i do about yours. you sound like you’re in a relationship where neither of you are happy or good for each other. you also sound like teenagers. take it as a lesson and simply move on.
Talk to her about it. If you can’t work it out leave. No one should put up with being treated crappy. It sounds like this is not the first time she’s been an idiot and that it’s a pattern? Also is she mad at you for something else that she is being disrespectful to you? Does she have difficulty communicating?
i think she’s the bigger asshole but you’re still an asshole. i would have said “you’re really mean to me sometimes and it hurts my feelings.” as opposed to calling her a piece of shit in her entirety.
however she was way too mean about that. in my personal opinion, I don’t think what you did was weird at all. i used to work at a mall store as one of those people in the front awkwardly saying hi when you walked in. people would ask me where other stores or the bathrooms/ etc. were all the time and I never thought it was weird. worst thing that could happen was I didn’t know where what they wanted was. that’s an insane amount of self-consciousness in a bad way. the problem there, though, isn’t her debilitating humiliation and embarrassment at being alive (like why is she so high strung over such a normal thing to do?? idk not the point), but how she projected it onto you and said to your face that you gave her the ick. that IS really mean.
i dont let people say “omg that’s sooo embarrassing for you” even when I do something objectively embarrassing because it tears down one’s self esteem. (ex. i once chased a tennis ball into the road and then kicked it away from me as i tried to grab it like three times. when i went back to my friends i made a joke about how graceful and smooth i was instead of being like omg so embarrassing)
i don’t like to pretend ik everything about someone’s relationship on the internet, but idk if this girl is for you. find people who dont make you want to say things like “youre a piece of shit” and things should get better
ESH.
She said that you embarrass her and you give her the ick. You called her a piece of shit. Do y’all even like each other?
I’m going with YTA but I was torn bc everyone sucks a bit, but you suck way more. She explained that she didn’t like your behavior, how it made her feel, and why. You then insulted her character. That makes you a major AH. I can see how her behavior made you upset and seems to be over nothing, but that doesn’t justify your response to her. Stop being petty and have an adult conversation about how you feel. Share your feelings like a grownup.
Info: are you both teenagers?
Both of you are YTA. You need to learn to read a map or a mall directory. Or perhaps call the store and ask where they’re located. You shouldn’t call your SO vulgar names because you don’t agree with them. It’s a quick road to them becoming your ex. And you don’t have to buy something from every store you go in. Sometimes, they just don’t have what I want or the size I need.
Yes, you are.
If you don’t like her, break up with her.
Tbf the same goes for her. If she has the ick so bad, why is she still there?
ESH.
ESH Do y’all even like each other? Could you express how you feel about her treating you badly without insulting her? Could she deal with her embarrassment (over a totally normal thing) without implying that you’re not worth dating anymore?
Both of you are AHs
I get the impression this isn’t really about the store, since your language implies she’s horrible to you a lot. Also I mean, maybe this is cultural but going into a store to ask where another one is seems perfectly normal to me.
So like, ESH here because both of you handled this badly, but I think you need to rethink the relationship.
YTA for wondering who the “bigger asshole” is. Scorekeeping and comparing are some of the fastest ways to end a relationship.
On the bright side, ending the relationship is what I vote for. She’s weird and judgemental and you’re prickly and reactive.
Do you people like each other?
Not the asshole she is in the wrong. This is a mall. One store likely knows where the other store is. and no store in the mall should expect every single person who comes in their doors to buy some thing.
ESH you both sound insufferable