My husband doesn’t like seafood and has a pretty narrow idea of what is “good food”. He loves fast food in the US. He is not a picky eater in the US typically and will eat anything outside of seafood, he does like sushi. I know that’s not saying a lot. He is an emotional eater and for has extremely deep feelings about the food he ate and cares a lot about how it tastes.
We are traveling more now that we have the budget and time for it. We travel domestically about once a month and internationally about once a year. Places we have been internationally are Mexico, Belize, Costa Rica. We have been to Mexico a few times and live in Arizona where we can just drive there.
Every time we have visited another country, he complains about the food. My take is that in each country you can appreciate the food for what it is, regardless of how it actually tastes. I personally really enjoy trying new foods and don’t mind if it’s not the best I’ve ever had. I have found things I like at all of the countries we have been to.
In our most recent trip to Belize, I ate a lot of seafood and it was 10/10 delicious and so much better than what I can get in AZ. My husband of course every place we went ate things like hamburger and pasta. He then proceeds to complain that the food is disgusting, which makes zero sense to me.
It is getting to the point where I think this is really a him problem and that he is a picky eater. I called him out on this and how I don’t want to hear him complain about the food anymore. He also is not allowed to go home after every trip and tell all of our friend and family how gross the food was, because it makes him sound uncultured. I can’t quite articulate why, but that just really pisses me off. He is super upset with me for calling him out like this.
AITA?
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My husband doesn’t like seafood and has a pretty narrow idea of what is “good food”. He loves fast food in the US. He is not a picky eater in the US typically and will eat anything outside of seafood, he does like sushi. I know that’s not saying a lot. He is an emotional eater and for has extremely deep feelings about the food he ate and cares a lot about how it tastes.
We are traveling more now that we have the budget and time for it. We travel domestically about once a month and internationally about once a year. Places we have been internationally are Mexico, Belize, Costa Rica. We have been to Mexico a few times and live in Arizona where we can just drive there.
Every time we have visited another country, he complains about the food. My take is that in each country you can appreciate the food for what it is, regardless of how it actually tastes. I personally really enjoy trying new foods and don’t mind if it’s not the best I’ve ever had. I have found things I like at all of the countries we have been to.
In our most recent trip to Belize, I ate a lot of seafood and it was 10/10 delicious and so much better than what I can get in AZ. My husband of course every place we went ate things like hamburger and pasta. He then proceeds to complain that the food is disgusting, which makes zero sense to me.
It is getting to the point where I think this is really a him problem and that he is a picky eater. I called him out on this and how I don’t want to hear him complain about the food anymore. He also is not allowed to go home after every trip and tell all of our friend and family how gross the food was, because it makes him sound uncultured. I can’t quite articulate why, but that just really pisses me off. He is super upset with me for calling him out like this.
AITA?
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
>It is getting to the point where I think this is really a him problem and that he is a picky eater.
INFO: Who else’s problem would it be?
Nta your husband sounds like a child does he even like traveling? Does he like anything outside of the food or does he just complain the whole time?
He sounds like a child and would be exhausting to even contemplate traveling with. Of course you’re NTA
You specifically mention that he doesn’t like seafood, but it seems that you keep going to seafood places? INFO. Seafoods a pretty common thing for people not to like, and that.by itself isn’t enough for someone to be a picky eater.
YTA. I don’t understand why this is such a big deal. First, your husband isn’t a picky eater just because he becomes pickier on vacations. Second, yes you have to listen to him complain, but surely the rest of the vacation is fun. Third, maybe don’t dismiss your husband’s dislike of seafood, it’s a pretty common thing to dislike.
NTAH – I hate traveling with picky eaters. I had one travel companion that complained about the pizza and hamburgers in Italy. But that’s who they are and I knew that before the trip.
I don’t think it’s fair to tell him that he can’t complain to your friends and family. I think he should complain. That way other people will tell him he’s picky. That’s what happened with my travel companion. Every time she complained people would roll their eyes and laugh at her.
He has deep feelings about the food he eats, yet he loves American fast food!?
Let him continue to hate food other places. Don’t let it change what you’re doing. There is no world in which a burger anywhere isn’t better than any American fast food hockey puck.
NTA.
While I agree he needs to stop complaining, you seem pretty hung up on the seafood thing. It’s pretty common for people to dislike seafood. I actually have a very strong sense of smell. If seafood isn’t literally caught out of the water and immediately cooked on the beach, the rotten fishy smell is overwhelming. Some fish it’s worse than others, but it makes eating seafood a rarity for me. Since he’s ok with sushi, the smell may be his problem. Sushi fish is generally fresher and higher quality. Kinda hard to tell your brain it’s ok to eat the rotten fish.
NTA just let him complain in front of all your friends, and they should call him out on it. He needs to grow up.
NTA. (Travel with your friends and leave him at home?) Just gray rock any complaint sessions about the food. Don’t ask him if he liked it or didn’t like it. If he starts complaining, do not reply to it and start a new topic. Don’t show any emotion towards the food complaints or act like it bothers you. If he’s getting no mileage out of his complaining, maybe it will reduce that way. At the very least, stop buying into this behavior, feeling like you are any way responsible for his actions, thoughts, and feelings about food, and worrying about what people think. Find your peace with this thing and let it go. Enjoy YOUR meal, your trip.
I have dined at places where I didn’t like the food much and you know what? I didn’t feel the need to discuss it with anyone. Eat a lot or don’t eat a lot, unless you’re on death row it’s not your last meal.
(And I’m dead serious about traveling with a friend. Tell him you’re booking some food tours and know he would hate it so you want to go with a friend)
NTA
Your husband is narrow minded, at least in terms of food. Taste doesn’t develop if you don’t develop it – like anything else. Habits and exposure matter great deal in understanding food.
Regardless, as a simple fact, every country and every region cooks best what’s common there, and in demand, and adapts foreign things to local taste. Best food will be local specialties.
Because of that it’s silly to expect any foreign joint to do American food to American taste. His expectations are bound to fail, more so it’s silly to travel to see how American food abroad is not cooked the same as in USA.
NTA, he is without question a picky eater. I used to travel domestically for work and of course had to eat out for almost every meal. The one thing I would tell new people is that if you go somewhere that is known for a particular type of food that is what you should seek out. If you try to find only the food you’re accustomed to it will probably be different and maybe not as good in your mind.
I don’t like fish either but even places heavy on seafood have other options you just have to be willing to try them.
Sorry to say but your husband is typically American. He can’t enjoy real food because he’s brought up eating junk food (as per what I gathered from your post). The best strategy is to hold him off of junk food and let him really eat normal food.
NTA
I don’t think you realize you have an extremely picky kids menu husband.
It must be so embarrassing to have someone who thinks everything is gross and wrong compared to home. I would hate to travel with someone like that.
If you go to a foreign country, expecting their American food to taste like it tastes in America you will be disappointed every time eating local cuisine when you travel is typically the way to go NTA. But maybe find a new travel companion.
Yta. He doesnt have to enjoy the food and can have his own opinions surrounding food. I understand that this is probably not really about the food but instead how he is making you both look to your friends. If that is the case, I would sit down with him and explain that using I feel statements. “I feel like when you say you hate the food that it makes our friends think that we are uncultured. Could you possibly try to find something positive to throw in as well?” This removes the blame from both of you. You can also lay down boundaries like “whenever we eat together, you complain about the food. Its taking away from my enjoyment of it. I think we should travel separately/research how food is prepared where we are going to help you feel better prepared for it”. You can only control you. If this is that big of a problem then stop traveling together. My husband and I have a very happy marriage but he hates going out to do things and I love going out so instead I go out alone and he hangs at home. We have date nights in occasionally and sometimes we go out together but I always make sure its a low stress day so a weekday lunch instead of a Friday night dinner. He always makes sure to get my fav foods for our date nights in. Marriage is really just about meeting in the middle and trying to feel your partners perspective fully.
Info: does he actually enjoy traveling, or is he going to try to make you happy, and his general discomfort with being so out of his element is being focused on food, or maybe food is a last straw for him? This sounds like it needs a convo about if you want to be spending your time and money in the same ways. Is there someone else you could travel with? Solo adventures?
NTA
Your husband has a comfort zone about food. Mine does too. Chicken tenders are his thing when he feels like the food might have the wrong flavor for him.
He doesn’t tell me I can’t try other food. And I wouldn’t listen to him anyway if he tried. We now use restaurants as a way for me to try delicious foods, and he finds something he knows he likes.
I will say that he tries my foods when I bring the leftovers home, and then he tries that specific item if we go back there.
The thing I keep in mind, and you should too, is that he is an adult who can make his own choices. You are also an adult who can make your own choices.
Neither of you should be making choices for each other. And neither of you should judge the other for not doing things your way.
NTA, if it’s just the international trips in which he dislike the food, it’s perhaps because he is so used to the poor quality food that he usually eats with additives and unnatural flavour enhancements that he has no idea what real food tastes like. He has basically become taste blind to the natural flavours of food so anything without additives tastes of probably nothing
My boyfriend has the same taste buds as your husband lol I called him out first date. He swears he is not picky but after 2 years together and everyone calling him out he accepts and says he is, he just calls himself a simple guys meat and potatoes. Nahh he picky AF and I eat everything lol it’s quite annoying bc I can’t split plates with him when we go out to eat bc he won’t eat from my plate lol but I can eat from his. However I do accept it and will keep him lol he is great w everything else
Fr, some people just are like that. My wife and I went to Thailand on our last trip and the food was INCREDIBLE. The hotel we stayed at had the most amazing breakfast spread I have ever seen – literally cuisines from about 12 different countries every single day – we still joke about going back just for the breakfast.
But there was this couple staying there the same time as us and we only ever overheard them bitching about stuff like why they can’t have a fry-up or government loaf with HP sauce 😂😂😂
You are NTA. It’s a him problem. Enjoy your adventures and let him have his burgers if that’s what he wants. But he should not be rude about other cultures’ foods. You’re right, he doesn’t have to love it but he would come off ignorant and disrespectful.
NTA. He’s allowed to like and dislike food, but being that picky is not going to work out well when you travel. Even if you stick with American food, its gonna be different abroad, even McDonalds is, and complaining about it just kills the mood for anyone you travel with.
Hes eating only Burger and pasta of course, it’s gonna be shit in those places, it’s not known for that. If you go to a Chinese restaurant and ordered a cheeseburger and fries (IF THEY EVEN OFFER IT) it’s gonna be awful.
It’s makes perfect sense that it’s shit. It’s still a him problem.
Is he on the spectrum?
I dated someone like this. They’d complain food wasn’t good or seasoned anywhere outside of their favorite restaurant…which spoiler alert…also didn’t season their food and wasn’t anything special.
I never understood it.
NTA. Your American husband is pissed that he can’t get authentic American food in other countries. Tell him to either grow up and try something different, or he needs to pack stuff PB&J’s because you’re done being embarrassed by him. You don’t go to Belize and order a hamburger and then get mad when it doesn’t taste like McDonald’s!!! Half the experience in a different country is the food and if he can’t grow up enough to atleast try, maybe he needs to only vacation in America.
If, everywhere you go, you run into the same problem — the problem is probably YOU.
NTA, husband has the tastes of a toddler.
YTA for saying he isn’t allowed to talk about his dislike of the food because you think it makes him sound uncultured.
Being with a picky eater if you aren’t one is annoying but policing another adults conversations with other people for appearances is TA behavior.
NAH it does not sound like he is stopping you getting what you want toneat. Complaining is his expression of how he felt. My stepfather has tomato ketchup on every main meal.. It’s revolting to me but who am I to say what people enjoy?
Try bringing some goldfish or cheerios like you would with a toddler. If he acts up give him a coloring book.
Belize stewed chicken was phenomenal
INFO: food is a big part of any experience. Why are you traveling so much if he doesn’t enjoy it? Could you go on your own and only take him to the local drive through?
Some people’s only hobby is complaining. NTA.
nta. i assume your husband has reaaaaaally redeeming qualities in other areas. this would be a huge turnoff/red flag for me.
YTA – It doesn’t sound like he is stopping you from eating the food you like, so what does it matter if he eats the food he likes? He might sound a bit uncultured, but I would once again ask you to reflect on why that bothers you?
NTA. Be picky but admit it, LOL. He doesn’t try any new foods, that’s on him. Is he on the spectrum? If he doesn’t want to look silly, he can stop complaining.
NTA.
At home, does he eat a variety of dishes? Like tacos or curry, obviously cooked at home so more familiar the the authentic dishes but still.
How is he with spicy food? Because Mexican food is known for it’s heat.
Overall it does kinda read like “this is not like at home, therefor it is bad” energy. Do with that as you will.
Growing up with my parents and three siblings, we all pretty much ate everything in front of us. All my extended family and friends, I can’t think of anyone with any eating restrictions. Lately I have notice so many younger generations with food restrictions. Not sure what is causing the issues.
This sounds exhausting.
NTA. Seafood isn’t my thing at all, but that is indeed a me problem.
This seems more like disordered eating maybe?
You say he’s an emotional eater and that he makes a big production about how disgusting he finds some food, like a toddler. You also say he’s putting this onto you.
I think I’d encourage my partner to go to therapy for this. And if he won’t, you may want to learn more about what’s going on in his head so you can know if this is something to ignore, help him through, or leave over.
NTA
NTA I’m a really picky eater and traveling is a little hard for me food-wise, but I don’t complain because I know the issue is me, not the food. I’m sure all the nations in the world have delicious food and it’s my stupid brain’s fault for not appreciating it. Your husband has to learn how to be a good picky eater and not an annoying one.
Just stop trying. If he wants to be grumpy gus about food then let him. Stop entertaining his criticism of food as well.
“My dish was great. This was a good spot to eat.”
NTA. As a picky eater myself, there’s some etiquette I’ve learned to express my opinions in a far less offensive way. “I don’t like this,” instead of “This is disgusting.” He doesn’t need to like the food, but he can talk about it in a better way.
FFS by 7yo my kid knew that not liking something is fine but calling something that others like “gross” is rude and unacceptable.
He can eat whatever tf he wants but he’s being incredibly rude and disrespectful — and acting embarrasingly — to you and to the entire cultures he’s visiting
NTA.
Also, solo vacations are awesome.
NTA. Your husband is allowed to not be particularly adventurous with food, but to come home and report that the food of an entire country is “gross” just because he, a known picky eater, didn’t like it is what’s actually uncultured here.
Rather than saying the food was gross, he should be saying that he wasn’t able to appreciate it. Or, he shouldn’t talk about the food at all. He can focus on the things he did enjoy.
Have you considered going places where his tastes might align more? Germany has burgers and brats, Italy has pizza and pasta. He might find that he loves the foods in those places!
But yeah, in the meantime, you’re NTA for calling him out. To openly insult another country’s cuisine because he is simply super picky comes off as ignorant and ethnocentric.
It had been proven that the way American food is processed (especially fast food) creates kind of an addiction to the short serotonin bursts from sugary/high fats/ highly processed foods. If it’s all he eats stateside, then he’s not going to enjoy other food until he stops eating fast food. It’s like they take over your brain and the more you eat it, the more you crave it.
I stopped in 2022 and now loathe the idea of fast food, but it took a while for my brain and body to switch.
Sugar. US fast food is loaded with it. Other countries do not do this. So to his wacked out taste buds, it tastes wrong. Still a him problem. Just a possible explanation. NTA.
I have a similar issue. I am the basic eater and my husband thinks he is a food critic. He s the one person who always has some complaint about the food. His dad is the same way. My husband always wants to eat at a steakhouse and we rarely go because I won t eat the food there. We were in Vegas and I am made reservations for a Sunday brunch buffet at a higher end steakhouse. This steakhouse was recommended by a Vegas local for their food. My husband first embarrassed me by ordering tap water instead of bottled. He mentions the other restaurants haven’t been as nice and he got use to tap which was a dig at the other restaurants not being up to his standard. He eats the prime rib and beef Wellington. He says the food was really good but he enjoyed the Spanish omelette from a different restaurant better. I lost my shit. His behavior makes me want to take separate vacations so I fully understand how annoying your husband s behavior is.
ESH.. I’m a picky eater as well. We always pick restaurants that have food that we both like.
Do you at least make an effort to look at a menu online or when you walk by to see if you are both happy with the selection?
I also find that traveling creates food challenges for me. We are planning a trip to Japan and I. a bit concerned, but I am sure we will find something for everyone
Could also be that abroad food isn’t packed with sugar and additives, if you try bread in say USA and then Western Europe and finally Eastern Europe you’ll see what I mean. Food in America is disgustingly sweet.
NTA. You would rather stay at home but he’s the one who wants to travel. Yet when you do travel he’s giving life to the phrase “ignorant American”.
If he wants food that tastes like American” food he should stay in the U.S.
I would be annoyed AF with his behavior. I would also stop traveling outside of the U.S. with him.
Trying new food in another country is one of the best things in life. It’d be one thing if he was saying the food wasn’t to his tastes but the way he talks about it is so childish. NTA
NTA your husband can be a picky eater but throwing a tantrum is really rude. Does he do it in front of restaurant staff? Gross behavior.