TL;DR:
Been in a 4-year relationship. My girlfriend doesn’t trust me around any female friends—gets furious over harmless things like giving a lift or a joke. Meanwhile, I’m expected to be okay with her male best friends and daily lifts from them. Now she’s insulting me constantly, especially after her dad set up a shop for her. Feeling mentally drained and unsure if this is normal or emotional abuse.
We’ve been together for 4 years. I love her and have been loyal the whole time. But honestly, I’m feeling more and more suffocated.
Here’s the issue: she doesn’t trust me around any female friends.
One of my college friends jokingly called me “baby” once (in a completely lighthearted way). I told my girlfriend about it thinking it was just harmless gossip. She lost it and now hates that girl, even though nothing ever happened and it was just a casual joke.
Another time, I gave a female friend a lift from college, and again, my girlfriend exploded—accusing me of being a cheater, throwing verbal abuse, saying I’m a liar, I’ll sleep around, etc.
Meanwhile, she used to take a daily lift from one of her male best friends on his bike. No issue there. When I brought it up? She brushed it off as “different” because she “can be trusted” and I “can’t.”
Now one of those female friends is getting married and I asked if I could attend. My girlfriend immediately started fighting, gave me conditions:
I can’t give a lift to anyone
I can’t click photos with any girls
I’m not to enjoy too much
And she kept calling me an idiot, a dumbass, lazy, and worthless
Lately, her attitude has changed even more. Her dad opened a stationary shop for her, and now she talks down to me, saying I’m not doing enough to make money or get a job—despite me trying. I genuinely feel unsupported, insulted, and mentally drained.
Is this normal in a relationship? Or am I just being emotionally manipulated? I’m honestly lost.
Comments
>> Is this normal in a relationship?
No and I’m not in the mood for this. I’d end it.
stop being a punching bag. don’t you have a single person in your life where you share this stuff with them and they don’t get shocked? this can’t feel good or right to you.
Assert dominance. Bang her male friends.
In all seriousness, this isn’t okay. Her insecurities, controlling behavior, and putting you down. There’s way better partners out there OP. Dump her.
>And she kept calling me an idiot, a dumbass, lazy, and worthless…
And she’s still your girlfriend? Are people that terrified of being single?
Take it from me, a former jealous/insecure guy who tried policing other people’s behavior. GET OUT NOW!
You’ll spend all your time dancing around/managing her insecurities. She needs to learn (like I did) that she’ll poison every relationship she’s in until she gets on top of her insecurities.
Ah, this old chestnut. A flag as red and old as it gets. She is threatened because she either knows she would cheat on you in a similar situation, or already has. Put your foot down, and if she keeps it up break up with her.
This sounds like a miserable way to live your life and the longer it goes on the worse things will be when it finally falls apart.
This isn’t normal. She is insecure, possibly projecting, immature and controlling.
The double standards from her are astonishing.
Trust is the foundation of any relationship. If she doesn’t trust you and wants to be this controlling you are best to walk away.
Edit to add. She’s verbally abusing you.
Cause shes fucking them and doont want you to end up doing whats shes doing.
No this is not normal. She is abusing you verbally and emotionally. Do as I say not as I do is never healthy behavior. You are abused.